Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I just had a realization.

I am a crazy old lady, forty years early.

Definitions: "Old" means, to me, at least eighty. Although, given the long-livedness of my family, I should probably push that to eight-five or ninety.

"Crazy" means a cackling, cigarette-holder-waving, martini-drinking, be-lipsticked woman with heavy black-rimmed Harry Potter glasses with one of those beaded chains on them. Also many cats, also insane decor. Also big bell-sleeved pieces of clothing that might or might not have been Victorian men's smoking jackets at some point in the past.

"Lady" means being able to cackle, wave your Sobranies around in your ivory holder, drink your pink gin at four pip emma on the dot, and still have people coming over to eat your potroast and sit on your insanely decorated couch.

Aside from the smoking jackets and ivory cigarette holder (and the martinis; I've never liked martinis [Sorry, Granddad and Granny!]) I'm there. Proof?

Following Sal's lead, I've been looking into color in my wardrobe. Also something more than jeans and V-necked T-shirts and cardigans. Gudrun Sjoden is my new obsession.

Also obsessive? Glass beads. In different brilliant colors.

And displaying my Fiestaware and various other midmod ceramics. On shelves. Above the doors of the kitchen and dining room. Where the cats can't get to them. HA!

Also biscuit tins and salt boxes that date to the turn of the century.

Also really good power tools. I'm thinking I may need to upgrade my two B-level drills for one A-level. But holey kamole are they expensive!

Also another tool belt. Currently, I have a black-and-pink, studded, Hello Kitty belt with the typical hammer loop/nail pouches/level hook on it. The belt has strangely become too large over the last several months, so I'm looking for another. Preferably one that Lady Gaga would wear while putting up picture frames with nothing in them.

And this. I do not know why.


Penny Mitchell said...

Lady Gaga, my newest heroine, will be in concert here on July 28th. I'm just sayin'.

And on the Gudrun Sjoden site where it said, "Please choose your country," chose France but I'm still here.

bobbie said...

Love the vase!! Whatcha gonna do with the beads?

woolywoman said...

I was BORN an old lady. Some of us are just lucky like that!

Murr Brewster said...

You could just severely up your cat count and save yourself a lot of trouble.

Nurse Karin said...

Funny post.
And thanks for making me feel 39-years "young."

messymimi said...

Some are born old ladies, some achieve old ladyhood, and some have it thrust upon them.

You have achieved it, and beautifully, with a stylish twist of your own.

happygeriatrician said...

I am happy to tell that those of us in the Geriatrics world won't consider you "old" till you are at least 90.

Dr. Alice said...

For me it'll be dachshunds. I intend to be the Crazy Dachshund Lady when I retire.

Northwoods Baby said...

Did NOT need to know about those clothes. Dammit.