Two: When I fuck up, I get emails and comments that point out that I'm a moron. Which is nice, because there's nothing worse than being a moron and being clueless.
Three: When I say something that, to different ears, might sound a little strange ("black bitch of a morning"), people like 'Drea email me and say, "Um? Like, really?" Whereupon I can reflect and come to the realization that when I say something like "black bitch", other people do not automatically visualize a snarling black metaphorical shaggy female dog draped across my shoulders, which is what that phrase references. Whereupon I feel like a total douche but am grateful for somebody pointing out my idiocy. (FWIW, I have a good mental picture of the Black Bitch in question: she looks just like The Man of God's dog, Sophie, but with a nastier personality and, of course, black fur.)
Four: I get the occasional feedback (okay, more than occasional) that makes me feel like I'm actually doing a decent job at this nursing/blogging thing.
Five: I am the recipient of the most insane troll emails ever. I got one yesterday from somebody claiming to represent a group of people that protests things, claiming that they were going to protest my blog online, because I am a harlot (wahoo!) and anti-Jesus and generally going to Hell. Dad'll be proud; he never thought this blogging thing would amount to much.
Six, and most importantly:
On a blog, a person who has a difficult, draining job can be honest.
There have been times I have felt like tearing my hair out, and being able to vent about it here has meant the difference between my keeping my job and having to find a new one. There have been times I've felt like I'm the only person in the world to feel a certain way, and twenty-eight comments in two hours have helped immensely. There have been times when I've wondered if the picture of nursing I've painted here has been honest, or if it's been unreasonably colored, and then I've gotten an email from somebody who says, "I'm the only new nurse on my floor, and reading back over your posts has made me feel less alone."
One of my most valued friendships came to be as a result of this here blog. My Sainted Parents and Beloved Sister have gotten insights into my life that I'd never have given them in person or over the phone through reading. People I haven't talked to in a year (hi, Joey! Call me!) read what I write here and know what's going on.
And the folks who read and comment here stick with me through nursing, through having siding put on, through Max having weird lumps and The Boys driving their claws into my shoulders, and don't complain about any of it unless I'm an idiot.
So, thank you. For reading, for emailing, for commenting, for pointing out when I'm dumber than normal.
Good stories will return this week. I have some doozies for you over the next couple of days, including the NSTEMI Saga, in which the neurologist said, "You expect me to do something about his heart?" and the Clotting Drama, which I will fill you in on later.