Now, I am not normally a cologne girl. I am especially not a celebrity cologne girl, but I was tempted for two reasons: First, because I love Alan Cumming. Second, because every single review I read lauded the peat, the whiskey, the cigar smoke, the deep notes of sandalwood.
And I am *not* a cologne girl. When I go out, no scent. When I go to work, no scent. Occasionally--*very* occasionally--I'll wear a single squirt of that Amazing Grace stuff Philosophy makes that smells a little like Mister Bubble, or a single squirt of Demeter's Gin & Tonic or Sandalwood. Hell, when I went to meet That Guy I Like the first time, I didn't even wear cologne. Don't like the way I smell? Cut yer damn nose off and eff you.
But, y'know, once in a while, a girl needs some options.
Let me tell you: This shit is da bomb. It smells like whiskey, smoke, rubber, peat, sandalwood, musk, and old library books.
For about five minutes.
At which point my weird body chemistry turns it into something you might've smelled back in 1987 on that dude from your bio class, the one that had the souped-up El Camino and the mullet, but who was somehow, inexplicably, still hot.
I do not want to smell like that guy. (I think his name was Robert; I do know he dated an absolutely gorgeous girl named Diana.) I don't want to think of that guy. I certainly don't want to be that guy, but now I have two bottles of cologne (they sent me an extra because shipping took so long) that will turn me *into* that guy if I'm not careful.
After a workout and a shower, the single squirt of it on my forearms smells vaguely like my paternal grandfather's study...which is nice, but I'm not willing to go through a workout and shower just to smell like Poppy's old law books. So I've offered it to an online acquaintance who loves it, and maybe she'll get some use out of it.
This feels a little like when I found out Alan Cumming is gay, and all the dreams I had of re-enacting "Posh Nosh" and scenes from "Spice World" flew out the window.
Alan, I still love you. Call me; we'll tie on some aprons sometime. No pressure.