Thursday, December 17, 2009

Odds and Ends, Bits and Bobs

I am so glad I live in the twenty-first century, when most people bathe.

I met a man the other day whose gums were black. BLACK. I say "gums" because there weren't that many teeth left, and the ones that were still hanging on weren't in much better shape than his gums. Ew.

Plus, you could smell him from the door.

Plus, his wife, whom I bathed four times in the course of two twelve-hour shifts, smelled just as bad. The night nurse bathed her, too, which makes me wonder just how long she'd been marinating in a fug of sweat, oil, bacon grease, and cigarette smoke. When you wash your patient's hair for the third time and the water still comes out a yellowish-brown? You know there's a problem.

Love my job; happy to be here.

Letters: I get letters!

Mostly, the people who write me are sweet, complimentary, and encouraging. Sometimes I get something abusive via email, but not often. This week I got an email I wish I'd saved. It was probably the longest email I'd ever gotten from anyone, and covered such subjects as the New World Order, feminism, brain surgery, and how Big Brother Bruce's Bargain Brain Barn (aka Sunnydale) is involved in a Jewish/Communist/Lesbian plot to put chips in all of us.

It was like surfing an enormous wave, reading that email. The quality of the writing wasn't much, but Lord were the ideas somethin' *else*. Sadly, I deleted it, and Yahoo doesn't save every rant I delete.

Please, Mister Feminism is Destroying The World and All You Need Is A Good Man to Discipline You Before the Communists Come For All of Us, could you re-send? Thanks.

Decisions, Decisions

There are a number of Big Things about to happen here at Casa Jo, and more importantly, in The Mind of Jo. Some of them might have a bearing on my career; some not. I'll let you all know when I've worked out the sniggles and tail-ends of things and done some soul-searching; meanwhile, happy thoughts etc. are welcome.

Finally, Merry Christmas! We Decorated For You!

The boys opened a present this morning at oh-dear-thirty, then spent half an hour batting the contents of the box around before I was able to haul my ever-widening ass out of bed and remove it from their paws. Thanks for the popcorn popper, Mom!

They also (I suspect it was Notamus) chewed through the string of lights on the tree. I'm glad it wasn't plugged in at the time.


Anonymous said...

Many happy thoughts, etc. coming your way. I really enjoy your blog, your way with language, your sense of humor, and your perspective on nursing (and cats, and neighbors, and so on). Thanks for writing.

Luis said...

What Anonymous said. I very much enjoy your unique voice, and I'd sit and have a beer with you anytime. Hell, I'd even come to Texas to do that, and that's saying something.

Best of luck with your important decisions. I'll be sending good thoughts your way.

merinz said...

I too enjoy your blog - for the same reasons as anon above. Keep writing.

Heidi said...

Dude, please tell us someone has asked you to write a book. Because that'd be a good book.

Bardiac said...

I wonder if the woman you bathed and whose hair you washed felt as good afterwards as I do after a couple days camping without a shower? Or maybe it takes a couple extra baths to really work if it's been too long?

I can't help thinking that a bath and hair washing are really important sometimes. So thanks for taking care of her.

Good luck on all the decisions!

Laina said...

Love your blog. Good luck with the big decisions. I work with someone like the first patient. I don't believe he is well acquainted with the idea of soap.

Crabby McSlacker said...

Good luck with the soul-searching!

And I'm sorry to hear that your anonymous emailer discovered the micro-chip plot. All those years of careful planning and scheming and now the jewish communist lesbian utopia will never come to be! Drat, foiled again.

shrimplate said...

Has anybody seen my microchip? Maybe it's lost in the couch cushions again.

danielle said...

You know how they say chocolate is death for dogs??? well, every dog I have ever owned has gotten into chocolate and survived. This year it was 4 mini-boxes of chocolate covered cherries - and then I guess when the sugar rush wore off - he needed some protein (he thought) - so he ate a whole salami that was supposed to be put into my son's stocking!

geena said...

Very random piece of info. I'm sure it doesn't even apply to the patients you were referring to in your post...

But.. if a patient has been in CCU for a long time and is starting to get stinky despite daily bathing, check the hands and nails.

In my personal experience, the hands are not usually washed during baths for some reason. Dead icky skin/sweat/other goop builds up and there you go... bad smell.

Like I said, random.