Thursday, October 15, 2015

Whaaa. . . .what? Wait, what?

The family member insists that I called her a bitch during report.

Okay. (Nods head.) A reasonable assumption.

Except I didn't. I see no point in prejudicing another nurse against a patient's family member, or using profanity during report. As opposed to the rest of the workday, when I'll happily use profanity whenever.

But this particular family member? The one who threatened to sue because the room wasn't big enough? The one who tried to get her aunt arrested for simply visiting the patient? I wouldn't call her a bitch, even in an undertone, because that would get me in trouble. I still have some self-preservation instincts left, even after more than a dozen years. Besides all that, she was worried, but not necessarily a bitch. I took the reports of her calling out security and all the other crazy behavior with a grain of salt; a lot can happen when you're stressed.

My boss, who is a thoughtful, reasonable woman, heard the news with a mild snurk and let it go on past. My explanation to her was "I got no defense; I can't help you on this one," and she took it as read and filed the complaint in the round-file.

But still. Why on earth would you say that about somebody who's wiping your father's butt, not to put too fine a point on it? Why would you try to turn all the other nurses against one nurse with an alleged (admitted) foul mouth? Are you truly that mentally ill, that you need to have an adversary in every single interaction you have with the outside world?

If people ask me what my least favorite aspect of my job is, I tell them this: it's folks who have a habit of conflict making up conflict where it doesn't exist. It bothers me, not on a personal level--because my conscience is clear--but on an existential level. What makes some people nuts? I don't get it.

I seriously don't get it.

But I'm not going to call you a bitch just 'cause I don't understand you.


CrowsCalling said...

Don't miss the crazy ones at all.

jimbo26 said...

Sounds like someone who ' usually ' gets their own way but on this occasion , because they didn't , makes up a groundless accusation .

Anonymous said...

"...folks who have a habit of conflict making up conflict where it doesn't exist." Thank you for this insightful description! I'm not in the healthcare field, but I've encountered people like this and always been baffled by their behavior.

Elle said...

The voices that said she's a bitch also told her that the television was a witness and can testify about it in court. (Note: This is sarcasm. I am not being hateful about people who have schizophrenia. I have a relative with that illness.)

woolywoman said...

Yeah. I don't miss that. At all.

Kaye said...

Yeah, stress makes people regress. It's like 2 year olds who throw fits and fall on the floor kicking and screaming cuz they can't have cookies before dinner. ask me how I know this about children.

RehabRN said...

And it's all the more fun when the family member and patient have a lot of swirling, underlying issues that you don't really know about.

Nothing like walking amid a minefield. I feel for you. May you not run into any more!

clairesmum said...

Glad your boss knows not to take this stuff seriously! Folks who have that adversarial view of the world really do believe the stuff they's like they are stuck in a macabre house of mirrors and they can't understand why the rest of us are so against them. staying calm and limiting contact is the only effective strategy. (i feel for the patient!)

WIGUY said...

I had my assignment changed once because the patient claimed I was trying to kill her. A few hours later the charge tracked me down stating, "you know that lady is crazy."

Well, Duh!

Enid Mueller said...

Sounds like Borderline Personality Disorder.
Yes- they love conflict.
No- they don't see a connection between getting someone in trouble and impairing relations with that person.
Your supervisor was great. Mine would still be milking such a complaint against me.

Unknown said...

If you act crazy/are an asshole when you get stressed out, chances are you were always that way. I've been through a lot in my life (as most people have) and never would I dream of taking it out on the men and women who serve my community let alone my own family members. No. Just no.

Sophie said...

ohhhh my goodness people are so rude. and yes, why would anyone pick fights with the individuals who they are so reliant on?!


Sophie x