Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Adventures in Keithland, part I

We have one rule at Sunnydale that is unbreakable. It has to do with scheduling, and it goes like this: everybody, no matter how long they've been with the crew or what their lives are like, has to work weekends once in a while. The official rule is that every person works one Friday, one Saturday, and one Sunday, with an additional Friday or Saturday thrown in, every schedule. The schedules cover eight weeks, so this is not an onerous requirement. Most folks get it over with by working one F/S/S run and then picking up an extra weekend shift as they please.

Except for Keith, who has filled out every tentative schedule from now until Christmas and has not put himself down on any Sunday on any of them. We chatted about that the other day.

"Well," Keith said, after I had pointed out the problem, "I suppose I could try to work a Sunday, since y'all have been so accomodating of my school schedule."

I replied, more patiently than I felt, that he should not try, but do, because it is the one rule that we have. The One Fucking Rule, for God's sake.

Keith said that he likes to go to church on Sundays. Said it makes him feel all "rejuvenated."

Now, even in Bigton, the liberal enclave of Texas, folk like to get their religion on now and then. However, the One Rule applies to everybody. Doesn't matter if you're a Jew who needs Friday off prior to sundown. Doesn't matter if you're Muslim or Hindu or a devout Cafeterian:  you work what you agreed to, or you drop back to part-time or leave.

Also, there are two other people on the staff who are devout churchgoers. Even if I and every other person on staff worked every Sunday from now until Judgement Day, we would probably not cover all our bases every week. Plus, that's unfair.

Plus, Keith, this is what you signed up for. Vadge up.

Because, honestly, if you really want to feel rejuvenated in a Christlike fashion, I could nail you to a cross.

So anyway, I sent out an email about it as soon as we'd finished our discussion, because ain't nobody got time for involving the manager in something like a schedule problem.

Keith then regaled me with tales of the first earthquake he'd ever felt, and don't ask me how he got started on that, and how it was a magnitude 7 in some place like Singapore or Central Iowa. I said, mildly, that I hadn't heard of Singapore being damaged by a magnitude 7 earthquake, nor Des Moines, and wondered aloud if he knew what a logarithmic scale actually meant.

I did not use the term "fucking idiot" at any point and for that I should get a medal.


Lynda Halliger Otvos (Lynda M O) said...

medal ordered...

what a scag.

messymimi said...

And i, as a regular church lady, am peeved with this guy. If i worked somewhere that required me to go to work on a certain number of Sundays per year, i'd do it. Because as Psalm 15:4 says, a follower of the Lord, when he gives his word, keeps it no matter what.

cowango said...

Well I guess this guy would remain totally unrejuvenated if he worked where I do because we work every third weekend. Poor dear. I feel so sorry he has to work one every 8 weeks. Who's looking after this creepola?

JAB said...

Wow! Six weekend shifts per six weeks around here, Friday's don't count unless you work nights. And if you piss off the scheduler, well, all bets are off.

RehabNurse said...

Wah! I worked every other weekend and the Hotel has a "right" to schedule you all but one weekend a month per policy. Heaven forbid they declare an "emergency"!

If that's not scary, I don't know what is. Thankfully, there is no shortage of services available around these parts.

The Lord helps those who helps themselves, and I think Mr. Keith needs to help himself to his share of Sundays.

gela said...

Indeed you should get a medal.

JEN said...

Keep the Keith stories coming. Entertaining!

thursdaynextgal said...

Unrelated to your post (which I did enjoy), but I found a nursing chat board that section on paranormal experiences from nurses. Currently creeping myself out with them. Any you'd like to share with your adoring audience?

clairesmum said...

Maybe he needs a review session with Betty in order to 'get religion" about working as part of a team???

Nurse Dee said...

"nail you to a cross" OMG priceless!!!

Kennedy said...

I take it you do self scheduling, but someone must be responsible for the actual schedule. If so, they put him on a required day regardless of what he signs up for. That is what sucks about being a nurse you work holidays and weekends or you take call all the time. We all knew this going into the biz!

Some people are always going to try and get away with stuff until they get called out on it. Rules are in place to keep things fair so that the schemers do not take advantage of the system.

When I had scheduling responsibilities in the past I tended to make examples of those individuals. Until they got the point.

Anonymous said...

... yeah, no. I work on a rehab unit; and we're short staffed on Sunday nights because that's the day no one wants to work. Except me, apparently.
As a Muslim, I get around the rule by working the time when our service is NOT scheduled, eg nights (since our congregational worship is Friday afternoons). Just work Sunday night, Keith. It's easy.

Anonymous said...

...P.S. "Vadge up"?!

I'm so using that the next time we have a code brown.

NurseK8 said...

Tell friggin Keith to vadge up or get a job at a clinic where it sounds he belongs hehe