Monday, October 04, 2010

I just learned what's scarier than cancer.

(The scene: a quiet bedroom somewhere in the middle of Texas on a cool fall day. A gentle breeze moves the curtains at the windows as Our Heroine naps peacefully under the covers...)

Our Heroine: Mmmmmmmzzzzzzzwarmfuzzykittybellies.

(rolls over, wakes up slightly)

Our Heroine: Mmmmmkitties. Warm. Kitties. Wait.


(Our Heroine realizes that there is indeed one Warm Fuzzy Kitty atop the bed. The other is under the covers. With her. With claws.)

(cue Oboes of Doom)

Our Heroine: (absolute frozen silence and stillness. No blinking.)

Cat #1, under covers: (moves slightly)

Cat #2, atop covers: (looks interested)

Our Heroine: (absolute frozen silence and stillness)

(Oboes of Doom swell, to be joined by Strings Of Misery and Disaster)

Our Heroine: (watches as life flashes before eyes)

Cat #2, atop covers: (looks very interested indeed)

Cat #1, under covers: (sticks head out, looks innocent)

Our Heroine: *sigh of relief*

...and cut.


Joy K. said...

Once upon a time, I lived in a giant pink drafty house with almost no heat. Winter was cold, my friends, and the 2 kitties slept under the covers with me. (This was as much for my comfort as for theirs: free warm fuzzies!)

They slept under there until the night that one of them was on my left, and the other on my right, and they got into a fight at about 2:27 a.m. My body was the battleground. It wasn't pretty.

Unknown said...

OMG this is like my morning every day. The cat purrs right up 'til the moment she's done with me and tries to bite my fingers off...

JacquiBee said...

since the earthquake (Canterbury FYI) my darling Igor wont get up and go out the new cat door to the back porch ( where the food is) without me to supervise, support, guard whatever.. so I wake at 4am to 7kg of cat sitting squashing bits of me I'm trying to use to breathe and licking my nose. The cat door was supposed to fix this.

Birdie23 said...

Too Funny!this morning I woke up to the brown eyes of my husband, no wait he has blue eyes...Large Pink tongue with nasty doggie breath licked my entire face ewwww!

messymimi said...

The cats used to be allowed to share our bed, until the night they fought on top of my husband's chest. It took quite a few bandages.

FrenchTeacher said...

Love it!
My cats do the same thing, but someone always ends up getting pounced on...