Friday, June 04, 2010

The Crip Files: Radiation Edition

I had X-rays taken today of my neck. Front, left side, 3/4 left, and odontoid, which entailed me standing in front of the camera with my mouth wide open for more seconds than were probably necessary. The results will be available in about 48 hours, at which point I hope they don't call me and say " need to get to the ER right now, please, as your neck is broken."

Although that would explain a lot.

Friendly Doctor Guy assured me yesterday that I had indeed not had a stroke (Me: "Oh. Good.") and that he, too, thinks that this is probably a muscular problem rather than a spinal problem. Still, the X-ray's a necessary part of diagnosis, as it wouldn't do to have a subluxated vertebra and no clue that it's there. For the next two weeks I'm to avoid lifting anything or anybody, stay away from housework and yardwork (like I need an excuse), and not lift weights--basically what I'd been told before, but with a longer timeframe. If, in two weeks, the muscle spasms haven't quit, then I'll visit Ye Olde MRI Hutte and lie quietly in a tube for an hour.

I am BORED out of my SKULL. And I'd like my brain back, please.

My routine looks something like this: Wake up, take anti-inflammatory. Have fifteen good minutes between the time the drugs kick in and the time they make me too dizzy and woozy to move. Use those 15 minutes to accomplish something like folding laundry one-handed.

Nap for four hours.

Get up out of bed, run errands one-handed. Get home with shoulder creeping up toward ear. Take muscle relaxant. Have thirty good minutes before I fall over in a spineless heap; use that time to eat. Sleep for four to six hours.

Wake up. Repeat. Somewhere in there, feed dogs and cats. Perhaps consider taking on a major project, like reading The Wizard of OZ, but give up due to lack of brain power.

Go to bed. Wake up in the middle of the night with spasms that necessitate both NSAIDs and relaxants. Know nothing more until about ten the next morning.

I can't wait to go back to work. What a picnic *that'll* be. I'm not quite as disoriented as my patients, but my physical NIHSS score is worse.


bobbie said...

Yikes!! sending you healthy & healing vibes...

woolywoman said...

well, hell. Trying heat? You will, uhm, habituate to the drugs. Are you alternating? Like 4 pm NSAID, 6pm happy drug, etc so that you are never tailing off anything altogether. Just random free advice from an intertube stranger. You know, they could put botox in the spasming muscle. Its what botox was actually developed for.

messymimi said...

Ouch. I'm so sorry this is happening.

May you be blessed with quick healing.

Jo said...

WW: Yep, heat and massage and all that stuff. The trouble is not that the medication is particularly strong; it's that I get goofy on ibuprofen. I'm being very careful not to be off of anything entirely ever, but you know, sometimes you just sleep in weird positions.

This is why I do not take narcotics unless it's absofreakinglutely necessary: I'm dumb enough without them that with them, I'm an active danger to myself and others.

Anonymous said...

Ohhhh, Jo, I'm so sorry! :( Yuck yuck yuck yuck YUCK!

I wish we were geographically close and not anonymous to each other as I'd come entertain you; I've been bored out of my skull and I'll be darned if I'm going to study for NCLEX! There is really only so much pleasure reading one can do before one gets sick of one's own company... or at least, that's me.

Here's hoping you're feeling much MUCH better very soon, and how!

Nurse(BSN but not yet RN)8

REH said...

Well, gee. That just sounds like more fun than any one person can tolerate in one day. My sincere hopes for extremely fast resolution, and highly entertaining critters in the meantime.

aries said...

What a pain in the neck!!!Just kidding :)
Seriously, hope you recover at earliest time possible, nurses like us don't want to be at one corner doing nothing. We are made to be "toxic" hehe.