Monday, May 16, 2005

Why, yes, I *do* live in a novel.

The Flailing Patient had just cold-cocked me in the kidney during a fit of frustration. I was getting a bit tired of a person who lashed out--physically and verbally--without the slightest qualm, so I took myself into another room where there was an alarm sounding.

I fixed the alarming pump and glanced at the patient in the bed. Something about him seemed familliar. Then I glanced at his armband: "Schlomo Fishnugget."

Schlomo Fishnugget???

"Uh, sir?" I ventured, "Are you the same Schlomo Fishnugget that invented the Ding-Dang Freakywidget and postulated the Creakynut Energy Conversion Theory?"

"Why, yes, I am" he replied, with a boyish grin.

"The same Fishnugget who won the Nobel Prize for applications of the Ding-Dang Freakywidget?"


I was standing in the presence of one of my heroes. It was as though Bucky Fuller had knocked on the door and offered to sell me some Girl Scout Cookies (now with less waste!).

I gaped. I've taken care of politicians, minor members of royal families from all over the globe, heads of small states, rodeo clowns, circus performers, musicians of all stripes, investors, and interesting normal people, but here was Schlomo Fishnugget. And I was clearing an alarm on his IV pump.

So, after the requisite I'm-Your-Biggest-Fan business, we talked about dogs. And how to make the perfect potroast.


me said...

Ok, I'm an idiot. Clue me in, who's Shlomo Fishnugget?

me said...

Ok, I'm an idiot. Clue me in, who's Shlomo Fishnugget?

Anonymous said...

Schlomo Fishnugget has got to be an alias. Protecting patient confidentiality, you know. But dangnab, *I* want to know who he is too!

Anonymous said...

OK Jo you've dealt with heads of small states, but have you dealt with small heads of states? or even the states of small heads? after all you are a HEAD nurse, aren't you?

Enjoy your blog enormously !!!!

The new Third Degree Nurse said...

My curiosity is simmering.
Who the hell is he? Or is it a she?:)

Oh, and as a former journalist, I tell ya, if the writer has any decent training at all -- there is NO SUCH THING as off the record. Of course, she probably will give you a break because it's a feature and she may want to talk with you again...