Sunday, January 02, 2011

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

Dear Birthday Frog:

(What? You've never heard of the Birthday Frog? The Birthday Frog is like the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus, but he brings birthday presents. Get with it.)

I would like, please, for my birthday this year... ... ...

Twenty-five strawberry plants, variety Eversweet Everbearing (heat- and drought-tolerant!)

Two fifty-foot rolls of 48" chicken wire and five-foot fenceposts to keep Max out of the garden

Wire ties for the above

Gift cards to Gurney's and Burpee

A broadfork (Gempler's has a good one)

Three four-cubic foot bags of vermiculite

The use of a cruddy pickup truck so I can haul some compost from the dump

A twenty-five-foot roll of two-foot-wide professional grade weedblocking cloth

A gift certificate to Home Despot so I can build some trellises (trelli? Trellae?) for cucumbers and beans and squashes and so on

A new set of biceps.

Thank you very kindly,

Jo, who has been drinking the Gardening Kool-Aid


Crazed Nitwit said...

You forgot to ask for one sexy landscaper to do all the work while you gaze upon his biceps and peeks adoringly......

Celeste said...

I love this. Nobody plants a garden if they think they're gonna die anytime soon. :o))))) Very, very glad your story's having this happy next chapter.

Jenn said...

Now I want a garden as well. And a sexy landscaper.

SkinnyNurseB said...

I have been wanting to grow a garden for a few years now but every time I get pumped up to do it I get lost on how to start.

How did you get started?

messymimi said...

Go for it all, and enjoy it for me. I tend to kill plants, no matter how drought and heat resistant.

birdergirl said...

Yum. Can I come help you eat asparagus and strawberries??

Elyse said...

I live in an apartment. I'll have to settle for maybe one of those upside down hanging tomato plant things that are sold by the same company as the Sham-Wow and Chia Pet. But a girl can live vicariously through someone else's garden, right???

Dr. Alice said...

Do you have squirrels? 'Cause if you do you can forget about the strawberries. Not trying to be a naysayer, but one of my partners who is an avid gardener gave up on strawberries for that reason.