Friday, August 06, 2010

My molars are backwards.

Because, really, nobody cares what I ate for lunch (hot dogs) and work has been blessedly boring lately, I thought I would share some interesting personal information with the entire world.

(Here I had meant to put some cute pictures of Max, but my memory card was full, so none of them transferred. Take it as read that you're seeing Max with his new harness, lying on the dining room floor, paws up in the air as he asks for belly rubs.)

Ten Odd Anatomical Quirks Jo Has:

10. I have no antecubital vein on my right arm. This has been verified by my doc, who says it's not all that unusual. Apparently, some people just don't develop AC veins in utero, so you have to go kind of off to the side in order to get blood. The left arm is fine.

9. I am missing one thoracic vertebra and the corresponding pair of ribs. Thanks, Mom; I get this particular anatomical weirdness from her.

8. My appendix is apparently quite small. I discovered this during the Great Belly Workup of 2010. I have a vestigial appendix! Now if I only had no foreskin and could see in ultraviolet, I could be like Lazarus Long!

7. According to the orthopod I saw after I hurt my knee, my shinbones are out of proportion to the rest of my leg. They ought to be shorter. Given that I'm already short enough thanks to the missing vertebra, I'm thankful I have long shins.

6. My molars are backwards: no shit. This was discovered initially by the orthodontist who put braces on my teeth when I was thirteen and has been confirmed since by innumerable dental hygenists who, when I open my mouth, say "What the hell?"

5. My optic nerves are too large for their discs. Nobody knows what this means but my opthamologist, a nice guy who wears very bad ties. He mentions it every time he sees me. Even in social situations. He's a little strange. (He also told me I have stretch marks on my retinas. I'm not sure what to think about that.)

4. I have a third nipple. Make of that what you will. I lived for thirty-eight years with a third nipple, in blissful ignorance, until the dermatologist I see (to make sure I don't die prematurely of melanoma) pointed it out excitedly. Given that it's closer to my navel than to my breast, it makes me feel more like a pig (anatomically speaking) than a Bond villain (again, anatomically speaking). For future reference, it's on the right.

3. According to the last set of X-rays I got, the bottom set of floating ribs I've got sits inside my pelvic girdle. Again, Thanks, Mom! There's short-waisted, and then there's short-waisted.

2. I can lock the distal joints of every finger, a talent that most people apparently don't have. I have a buddy who can roll her shoulder and hip joints out of place on request and can simultaneously push her hands back to the point that her knuckles touch her forearms (Madelung syndrome), so being able to lock joints never seemed like such a big deal to me, but it apparently is.

And the number one weird anatomical quirk I've got, and the one I've considered putting on Christmas cards:

1. I have a wisdom tooth in my right cheekbone.

No shit. This was such a cool revelation that I demanded copies of the X-rays showing it. I had one wisdom tooth removed from my lower jaw about....gosh, was it twelve years ago? It must have been. During the workup, the dentist did one of those 180-degree X-rays and found a wisdom tooth, lying horizontally, in my right cheekbone. It's not going anywhere, obviously, but it's kind of neat. If it ever decides to go against all human development theory and grow, it'll come out in the middle of my ear.

This is all to illustrate what an amazing thing the human body is. I have met one person with a cerebral vascular setup like unto a cow's, and another who, after a head CT for sinus problems, found out he has about an inch of brain tissue surrounding enormous ventricles. The neurosurgeon said, in that second case, Well, it hasn't been bugging you, so we'll let it be.

And, with that, my bed is calling me. Imagine a picture of Max, lying on the floor, ears up in airplane-position, right here.

15 comments:

steph said...

What are backward molars?? The rest of your "uniqueness markers" I can "picture".

Alena said...

I have a third nipple on the left by my navel (well, HAD- it was removed). I had wisdom teeth wrapped around my lower jaw and growing through my sinuses. Before they sent me home from having them removed they said "oh yeah, uhhh, try not to sneeze for a few weeks." Also I have a large cup-to-disc ratio (for someone without glaucoma). Which reminds me, I gotta make that opthamology appointment...

P.S. I am also a nurse and trying to motivate myself to write more. Check it out at sisuforsupper.blogspot.com

Uro*MA said...

I have an azygos lobe... found on a cxr, confirmed on a rpt cxr, and on evey additional since. It means absoulutely nothing except that my dr told me it is only common in less than 1 % of the population, which makes me feel special... haha. oh, and when i sneeze snot/tears come shooting out of my tear ducts and mess my glasses... lol thanks for sharing your anomalies...

Uro*ma

me said...

Here's my weird thing...

I've just been dx'd, at age almost 52, as having a HUGELY deviated septum...

Who knew?!?!?!

Celebrating our weirdness! ~~~

PS ~ WV = bigntess

Jo said...

Steph: What ought to be the inside plane of my molars faces out, and what ought to be the outside faces in, toward my tongue.

messymimi said...

Just more proof that you are a unique person, and the Almighty has a weird sense of humor.

Knitosaurusrex said...

I also have backward molars and my orthodontist suspects it is caused by the great pressure I put on them after many, many years of grinding my teeth at night. She claims the stress can cause them to rotate in their socket. Linda Blair style.

Nurse J said...

interesting. i'm still jealous of your seeing sounds thing.

Scrub Ninja said...

I have a mandible one size smaller than the rest of my skull. Gave my orthodontist fits trying to get it positioned right, without totally wrecking the TM joint.

What do you mean by "locking" your finger joints?

Cartoon Characters said...

Ya, I can lock my distal joints on all fingers too....you mean most can't??? hmmm. Thanks. I used to think i was normal. Now I'm not. :(

JacquiBee said...

How can we possible top that list!! Are you going to leave your body to science? :-)

thursdaynextgal said...

Well, if it helps #3 would make you physically suited to be a good horseback rider. I remember my trainer remarking once that the best rider she'd ever seen had about two inches between the bottom of her bra band and her navel.

flashdark said...

I have one double-jointed elbow, 26 teeth (no extractions), corectopia and a miswired vagus nerve that makes me faint every time I have to barf. Thanks for making me feel a lot more normal!

What about that other person's cerebrovascular setup was cowlike?

Molly said...

I too would like details about this cow person.

As for me...I'm not interesting. Uh, my adenoids grew back after I had them removed? I didn't think they could do that, but a doctor pointed them out on an MRI thingy, so. I'll take his word for it. And I only had two wisdom teeth, the ones on top, but I think that's pretty usual.

I hear loud bursts of static and have horrid pain in my ears - used to be just the right, but now both - whenever I'm exposed to loud noises like a cheering crowd or music coming out of a speaker. It pissed my parents off that they could never crank the music up...or they'd do it anyway and not believe me when I said how much it hurt. No idea what that's about. I don't know if it's an anatomical weirdness, though. Oh, and I have palinopsia off and on; I think it may be some kind of weird migraine sans pain, but it's freaky as hell. But sadly it's not something anyone but me can tell is going on :(

Anonymous said...

For my 2 cents, I was born missing one of my 6 salivary glands (for those interested, it's my right parotid). Not "atrophied." Not "smaller than average." None. Confirmed by CT with and without contrast, *and* an MRI with and without contrast. ENT looked at the images, looked at the radiology interpretations, felt along my jaw, and just sat there speechless.

He finally said that in his 30+ years of being an ENT, he had never seem, heard of, or read about congenital agenesis of (being born without) salivary glands. Me being the curious type and all, I used me being a current college student to my advantage, and used the library's access to medical journals for all they were worth. After every possible related phrase, and every journal I could get access to, I came up with the reason he'd never even read about it. In the past 80-odd years, there have been FOUR reported cases. And to think that he turned down my offer for him to write a journal article about me. Hrmph!