I am looking for a pen. It is, I think, a Pilot G7 with black gel ink and a medium point. It is the pen I use to balance my checkbook. Without this pen, no checkbook-balancin' is a-gonna happen. So I have to find this pen.
It is not in the drawer where I keep the checkbook and check register. It is not next to the telephone. It is not in my purse. It is, most significantly, in the pencil bag I use to hold the detritus of my day as a nurse.
I did, however, find the following things:
1. One five-hundred milligram capsule of acetazolamide (Diamox). Why?
2. One dosepak blister card containing a multivitamin.
3. One each of those little plastic ampoules of albuterol and Atrovent that one uses to give nebulizer treatments. These I remember: Joe the Respiratory Therapist gave 'em to me when I had bronchitis. For a while, I also carried around my own nebs tubing.
4. Two Halls Menthol cough drops, still in wrapper.
5. Three sticks of peppermint Extra gum, not in outside wrapper. I know it's Extra because it's the last gum I bought.
6. A pair of straight forceps.
7. A pair of curved forceps. Why I have these, I don't know.
8. A pair of iris scissors. Ran my finger into the point of 'em just now, ow.
9. Fourteen alcohol wipes.
10. Twelve cotton 2-by-2s in various stages of decrepitude.
11. Three Introcan Safety-W 20 gauge, 32 mm long, 60 ml/min IV needles in their wrappers.
12. $1.26 in small change.
13. An empty acetaminophen blister pack. I took the acetaminophen.
14. Three partially-used rolls of tape, two of which come in those IV start kits.
15. One 14-french red rubber catheter. Unused. I think my coworkers stuck that in there as a joke.
16. Two highlighters, one Sharpie retractable marker courtesy of Lovenox, two Relpax ballpoints, one Viagra ballpoint (nice pen), one ancient Dr. Grip ballpoint, four red ballpoints, and one mechanical pencil.
17. Two penlights. Both work.
No checkbook-balancing pen. Dammit.