1. If you tell a resident that you'll take care of bowel management for them, not only will he or she sign anything you write, s/he'll love you forever.
2. Don't call at 0300 for a sleeping pill for a patient.
3. White is a magnet for ook of all sorts.
4. Your favorite clogs have just been discontinued, and your favorite pen is about to run out of ink.
5. The cutest bartender is always taken.
6. There is no substitute for dental floss.
7. The volume of ook that will splatter on you is directly proportionate to how much you like the scrubs you're wearing.
8. The doctor who yells at you is actually trying to make up for the size of his or her genitalia. Don't let it rattle you.
8a. Remember that you can go home at seven; they're on call. Smile.
9. The word "pomegranate" never looks like you've spelled it right.
10. If you're a student, don't fret: you'll never use care plans again.