Friday, May 26, 2006

I need an intervention.

Tonight, after realizing that people really *don't* get any less annoying when you know them better, I had the following for dinner:

A large handful of cherry tomatoes. Okay, two large handsful.

Bacon.

Coleslaw.

Beer.

In slightly more cheerful news, this is the way of eating that has sustained me for years: weird food at weird hours, heavy on the vegetables and complex carbs, light on the meat. (I don't consider bacon meat; it's more a condiment.) I went back to it after three weeks on South Bitch sent my blood pressure to 150/100, shock! My BP is now back in the basement where it belongs.

In even more cheerful news, Carolita handed me an antique ad from a medical journal that she'd culled from among the equally antique books at her mother's house. It begins with the line "Experience Is The Best Teacher", references Camillo Golgi (a famous 19th-century neuroscientist), and ends with the claim that "More Doctors Smoke Camels Than Any Other Cigarette." It's now framed and resting atop the bookshelf that holds my ancient medical books.

Beloved Sister had the unenviable experience of interviewing a candidate for a job today who'd put semi-naked pictures up on his website. Oooooh, nipples. Love 'em. I wonder if her head has actually exploded, or if her brain simply oozed out one ear and crawled away across the conference room.

Speaking of brains, the Seriously No Kidding Single Most Squicky Thing I've Seen Recently came home to roost the other day: a guy who hadn't bothered to wear his seatbelt and went through the windshield of his car...and then had his frontal lobes (well, most of 'em), his sinuses, and his frontal skull removed.

There's a divot in his skull that I could put my fist in. Eugh. And no, he's not doing much these days.

Nor am I, except going to bed.

5 comments:

Bardiac said...

Of all the things I never thought about before, but absolutely never want said about me, I think "divot in Bardiac's skull" is right up high on the list.

Poor guy. Just, sad sad sad.

Kim said...

Whoa. Now THAT left a visual impression and it was just in print!

Kate said...

Skimming straight down your post gives this sequence:

cherry tomatoes
coleslaw
divot in skull

Thanks ever so.

shrimplate said...

Golfers always replace their divots.

But ain't nobody gonna put a lump of turf in that.

God bless them. Wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy even if I had one.

Noelle said...

Back in one of my first jobs, I sold sporting equipment and luggage at K-Mart. We'd often get bikers in who were pissed at getting caught with no helmet (crossing the border from California) and who had been required to buy one. One guy came in and was missing fully the front right quadrant of his head from some horrific accident and was bitching up and down that the coppers forced him to buy one! You'd think he would have learned.