Saturday, February 09, 2013

Loud Cheers! (For several reasons. . .)

Doctor Annoyance is going away. I don't care where or when, though I know when the when will be, and believe me, it's not soon enough: he's going away.

Doctor A has been a thorn in my side now for longer than I care to consider. He's one of those doctors--you know, the ones who can't find a phone number on their own, or who ask you stupid, unimportant questions in the middle of a crisis, or who think they're being cute when what they're really being is totally off the chain and for God's sake will you just TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH ohmygawd how many times do I have to tell you

. . . .Anyhow, he's going.

And, with him, goes another colleague--one so toxic (as the kids say) that I didn't know how much my work life was being affected.

I wrote a piece t'other day for Scrubs about toxic workplaces and nasty, poisonous coworkers. I hadn't connected that bit of writing with anything that was going on in my own precious unit until now. Turns out I was speaking more truth than I had ever imagined.

For the last two years, my daily life's been made more unpleasant by somebody who can't see the good in anything. Swear to Frog, if this person won the lottery, patented a device to reverse global warming and remove pollution from the air, and cured cancer, all in one afternoon, there would still be bitching happening. Some people are never happy, and this is one of those folks.

And they're leaving. Cue my happy-dance. They're leaving, and they're taking Doctor Annoying with 'em, and for the next week, I am going to be blissed out and just smiling like a fool.

In other Hooray news, I have a confession to make: a sexist, horrible, awful confession:

There is some serious eye-candy happening in my unit these days.

We got a new crop of residents in as part of the half-year switcheroo, and although I know most of them, there are a few lovely strangers to gaze upon. (Yes, yes, I know. They're all young enough to be my children and they're professionals and so on and so forth, but dayum.) HR has also given the go-ahead to hiring what seems to be America's/Australia's/Canada's/Backobeyondistan's Top Model candidates for the night shifts, and all of 'em are orienting, in succession, to the NCCU.

Aside from a I-will-always-say-something-stupid moment when I tried to guess where one of the newbies was from (I guessed Ireland; turns out the correct answer was New Zealand), things have been going swimmingly. Not only are these guys--because they're all male, and what's up with that?--easy on the eyes, they all came in knowing what three-percent saline is for and how to do an NIH stroke scale exam. They're all experienced. They're all certified. All I've had to do the last three weeks is show 'em where the coffee machine is, tell 'em how to access the computers, and turn 'em loose. This is in contrast with what I've been doing lately, which involves equal parts babysitting, computer training, and hand-holding.

Is there an asteroid due to hit soon?

Because, if there is, I want to open my mouth as wide as possible and show it my tonsils before I get blown to cinders. And therein lies the last Hooray bit of news: my two-and-some year's checkup was clean as a whistle.

Dr. Crane said that thing that used to be my mouth looked "beautiful," and as I was getting all puffed up about it, added, "The Prosthetic Elf always does such good work." Still, it's nice to know that I am still officially without evidence of disease. The next exam's in August, and I'll have a good old time freaking out about that, as I'm supposed to get an MRI a week prior.

I'm tempted to deck out an IV pole with streamers and fake flowers and ride it around the unit, waving like Queen Bess at everyone.


bobbie said...

YAY on the clean check-up!!! Many congratulations!

And another yippee I-O on the 'loss ' of Dr. A and his co-hort from hell ~

Long may your streamers wave!

Lynda Halliger Otvos (Lynda M O) said...

YAY !~! for clean bills of health

for creeps relocating elsewhere

for not worrying until August

YAY Jo, I'm happy for you.

Elizabeth Harper said...

I love reading your posts! I'm not a nurse or anything medically related. I did work as a drug rep in HIV, but I'm more like Doc Martin when I see blood so medicine was never an option for me. I think you are equal parts funny and illuminating in terms of educating through your posts and I always enjoy seeing there's a new one waiting to be read.I don't comment very often, but you paint such a vivid picture that I wanted to say thank you.

messymimi said...

Sounds like lots of good reasons for a full out Happy Snoopy Dance: head up, feet moving!

Congratulations on the clean bill of health.

Rosanna said...

To "Queen Besssssss"............
For A Clean-As-A-Whistle Checkup!!

Every good one~~(i.e., negative exam)~~will genuinely be An Occasion Of *Joy* for all of your Readers here!!

With Australians, Canadians, AND New Zealanders currently being in your new group of Residents, your Unit's already-high *Brilliant-Humor Quotient* should now (undoubtedly!!) go up a notch; so............ although your poor patients are often, sadly, the worst-cases............ your wait-time, Jo, between NOW and your own next exam - and MRI - in AUGUST might (hopefully!!) be just a little bit easier to bear, you know.

By the way, in your considerin' an IV pole with streamers and fake flowers on it, just don't let yourself be *smooooth*-talked ............ (not too much anyway, haha!!) ............ into anything "complementarily and traditionally dishabille," (haha)!!

RehabRN said...

Happy you're still on that Healthy Road! Stay there!

It sure will help sending the toxicities right out the door.

And see prayers are got caffeinated characters who look good and have a brain.

It's almost like Christmas all over again. Hope you all enjoy while it lasts...and may much more come your way!

Michelle RN said...

Holy crap can you make me laugh!!! I just love reading your posts. Thank you for brightening my day! Has anyone ever told you that you should write a book? No, seriously. :)

CrayonEater said...

Congratulations on a clean check-up! I'm glad things are going well for you. :)

Cr0w$C@lling said...

I found the IV poles at Sunndale remarkably easy to steer.

Anonymous said...

And the crowd goes wild - Head Nurse FTW!

Wish you would post more often as I love reading about your adventures.

Pharm. Tech RDC'06

Phiddy said...

Love you got a clean bill of health Jo! Wonderful in the extreme.

And, I so loved your last paragraph about riding the IV pole. I used to do that a lot. And, get yelled at a lot for doing it! LOL!

Allison said...

Congratulations on the good check up. Happiness abounds when crappy co-workers leave. Having worked in an organization where horrid behavior came from the top down, I know about toxic. After I left, I felt so much better. Glad they are leaving you. Cheers!

EDNurseasauras said...

Congrats on being clean as a whistle! Def. ride that IV pole like a float you deserve it

Anonymous said...

In our office, we have a fellowship program and have had many a hottie spend a year with us. Problem is, by that time, they've all been snatched up already.

cowango said...

Queen Bess would never look so good as you! Just do it!! Congrats on ALL the good news, and may it ever be thus.

Anonymous said...

I have one of those negative nurses in my team, luckily she is part time and everyone is well aware of whats shes like. It would be lovely not to have her about :)