Wednesday, November 16, 2011

What we talk about on slow days.

Is there an animal which, in its baby form, is not cute?

I assert that there is, though I don't know which one(s) that might be. The Mankiller swears that all baby animals are adorabubbles. We went on a Google search to see what might, in the baby-critter world, be uncute.

Llamas are cute as babies. So are goats. So are Tasmanian devils. Even Chinese Crested puppies are cute, which I was not expecting. Baby parrots are about the furthest thing from cute ever made, but even they, with their oversized beaks and button eyes, have a certain charm. Baby reptiles are cute because something scary in a large form is cute when it's wee.

We are still looking for the baby animal that won't make us squee and want to snuggle it.

The Mankiller and I also discussed the concept of Intrinsic Funniness, which I mentioned here a couple of days ago. Elephants, pennyfarthing bicycles, large moustaches, tweed blazers with leather elbow patches, and half-grown puppies are intrinsically funny. We agreed on those things. Possibly intrinsically funny things (those things which need more study) are mice, any consumable good that has a name like "Ho-Ho" or "Ding-Dong," certain shoes (white bucks and those loafers with tasseled tongues), balloons (opinion is divided between funny and scary), people in drum circles (funny or tiresome?), and bologna. Personally, I incline to the idea that bologna is funny. The Mankiller isn't so sure. She thinks bowling shoes are funny, but I find them overdone. I find pit bulls hilarious, especially when you rub their bellies and make them banjo, and she says they're too politicized.

We agree that although they are the butt of many jokes, the following things are not intrinsically funny: Jews/Poles/Irishmen/Your Best Friend (whatever ethnicity he is), the Wicked Witch of the West, the suburbs (more depressing than funny), anything Scots, garbage disposals, utility companies, and the Works Progress Administration. That last came out of a conversation with Richard the Respiratory Guy, who asked, "What can you never imagine anybody telling a joke about?" I came up with "the WPA;" The Mankiller came up with something I can't talk about on a family blog.

Suggestions? Disputations? We can't spend all day hacking our coworkers' Facebook pages; we need some help.

25 comments:

  1. Aye ayes are ugly, even babies.

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  2. Anonymous6:41 PM

    Baby Hyenas (not sure I'm spelling that right but too lazy to google it). They are not cute (or funny) at all. Well, not to me, anyway. They aren't as ugly as their fully grown parents, but that's as generous as I can be. It's genetic misfortune on an epic scale.

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  3. Anonymous8:19 PM

    I thought the word Kumquat was hysterical on any occasion. Maybe I need to get out more.

    murgatr
    Pharm. Tech. RDC '06

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  4. Kangaroos, while still.super small pouch size are really gross!

    http://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&source=mog&hl=en&gl=us&client=ms-android-att-us&q=baby%20kangaroo&sa=N&biw=615&bih=308#i=6

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  5. naked mole rats, i'm sure their babies are ugly, and bunnies before they get the cute fur, when they are still at the naked squirrmy stage.

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  6. Naked Mole Rats ....
    http://fourpawsandwhiskers.blogspot.com/2011/07/haunted-by-naked-mole-rats.html

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  7. Opossums. Nasty little slimy-looking things. Also baby mice and rats.

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  8. Anonymous3:55 AM

    What is a pennyfarthing bicycle ?

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  9. Yeah, mole rats ARE pretty gnarly looking.

    Most baby birds are adorable...NOT the California Condor hatchling. Eeeeek!

    http://geogypsy.blogspot.com/2010/02/3-endangered-california-condors-die.html

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  10. All babies are cute , 'till they turn into little monsters . ( I have 2 grandchildren ) ;-)

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  11. I'm going to ask around at work tonight and see if anybody can think of anything that they wouldn't make a joke about. We'll see what comes up.

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  12. Laura2:12 PM

    There's a street in my city called Knobdale. All my husband has to do is look at me and say "Heh. Knob." and I lose my shit laughing.

    Another good topic for a slow day: amusing and/or self-fulfilling names and professions, real or hypothetical. We have Dr. Moreau, the pediatrician, and Dr. Wang, who really should have been a urologist.

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  13. Anonymous2:28 PM

    Intrinsically funny-- the word pedagogy. Even funnier, academics using it in a sentence. John Cleese.

    Not intrinsically funny-- the visa bill, Stephen Harper (neo-con PM of Canada), Oil Sands and pipelines. This philosophy course (wanna do it for me? please???). Cat litter box.

    Barb

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  14. don't think much of baby rodents. ewww.

    kumquat is intrinsically funny. I have a mini kumquat tree specifically for that reason. They are also nice squeezed into seltzer water.

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  15. I agree that the work kumquat is hilarious. And while it is not funny, I do enjoy saying guacamole at random times.

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  16. Anon at 0355, a pennyfarthing bicycle is one of those ones with the huge front wheel. I don't know (to my disgrace) why they're called that.

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  17. baby naked mole rats are fugly.

    and when my son was born, i thought he was surely the most perfect creature god ever created. looking back at the pictures, his face wasn't SO different from a baby naked mole rat :-).

    here's my question about funny/not funny... i was watching a thousand ways to die the other day, and it totally depressed me. i told my friend one of the situations i found especially disturbing, and she started laughing hysterically... so is this show funny, or not?

    head nurse: i love your blog. keep up the fun posting!!!!

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  18. Eileen4:27 AM

    Penny farthings - called that because the big wheel resembled a penny and the tiny wheel a farthing. A farthing (name from the Anglo-Saxon feorthing, a quarter) was a quarter of a penny and a much smaller coin. Britain used farthings as currency from the 13th century until the end of 1960. Both coins were familiar to all levels of society (especially the poor) in Victorian times which was when the method of transport was developed. So there you are!!! :-)

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  19. I did a partial poll of all of us who work in the prison and we could not agree on a single thing that was intrinsically unfunny. Some people expressed personal limits, but we could not find a single person, place object or subject that could not be joked about in one way or another.

    Interesting.

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  20. ""What can you never imagine anybody telling a joke about?" I came up with "the WPA;" The Mankiller came up with something I can't talk about on a family blog."

    The first time I read this I linked the two statements in my head, so I was trying to think of what an inappropriate joke involving the WPA would be. Something to do with FDR and a ferret, I imagine.

    I'd really love to know what the Mankiller said.

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  21. Anonymous7:56 AM

    Baby opossums are VERY cute! We had one trapped in our garage once. We coaxed it out & were struck by how cute they can be as babies, yet grow up so ugly & nasty.

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  22. Jo:
    WPA, the Depression Works Progress Administration was hilarious.

    Always called forth the image of five skinny chain smokers leaning on their shovels watching one skinny chain smoker using his shovel to stir up a little dust.

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  23. Obviously the person who thinks baby opossums are cute didn't see one when it's barely out of its mother's pocket, about 1/2 inch long, and hairless. But if they have and think that's cute, I encourage them to sing a solo of "Everything is Beautiful".

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  24. Latricia8:24 PM

    If you look through the pictures on http://www.zooborns.com/ I think you will find at least one animal that makes you go "yeesh" but sooo many more that make you say "awwww"

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  25. jupitaur9:10 PM

    Not sure if it qualifies as funny, but the initials WPA were, by Republicans, reinitialized into "We Poke Along."

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