Friday, December 24, 2010

Hallelujah, Noel...the Christmas we get, we deserve.

Tashi and Wash gave back to folks who had even less than they do today.

Lara and her boy and The Boomerang (their new pup! Lara's new antidepressant on legs!) had a quiet Christmas Eve at home.

Tashi and Wash and Lara and her boy are happy.

And I am happy.

I had what was the best--and here I do not exaggerate, for once--the best Christmas Eve ever. I worked a good day, kept busy, and got a nice balance between occlusive and hemorrhagic strokes. Ames and I got to work together like we did when we were just starting out, a year ago, and it was awfully nice to ease into that groove without having to think about it.

"I miss this," Ames said as we finished cleaning up a room, "this stuff we used to do together."

"Hey...I thought you said you didn't miss nights and cleaning poop and changing beds!"

"I missed *this*" Ames said.

I missed it too.

Then, tonight, the Fearsome Foursome (Adam and Rob and Ed and Anne) came over for Danish rice and almond pudding with cherry sauce (ris alamande) and gifts. Rob and Adam got me two lovely pieces, seemingly unrelated until you looked at them and realized they were both the map of the world separated by a few hundred years. Ed brought his technology and Anne her graciousness and hilarious laugh, and we stayed up way, way too late watching Hubble The Pup chase the cats.

I am alive. I'm well. Through all of this Cancer Shit, I've never really been sick, and I won't be. I have a complete cure, as they say--and I'm beginning to be able to try to believe that.

I have been so incredibly lucky. From start to finish--well, from start to *here*, at least--I've been surrounded by people who aren't afraid of what's happened, or what might come. I've been taken care of by folks like Carolita, who are able to put aside their fondness for me and do what needs to get done. I've been held up and bolstered and kicked in the ass by people like Ames, who was willing to get up at oh-dear-thirty in the morning and spend her one day off in a week carting me from test to test, uncomplaining. I've been encouraged and enlightened by Sister Pens, who put aside her own worries for weeks to take care of me.

Last year, I posted a picture of the foot of snow we got on Christmas Eve. I thought then that that was the most perfect Christmas I could ever have: snow, and a day off, and possibilities opening up like a fan in front of me.

This year it's doing nothing but raining. The weather outside is truly frightful, but I don't mind. The possibilities I saw last year have been doubled, tripled, quadrupled by coming face to face with Schmancer and being able to say "Fuck you, weird cells" and keep going. I have new friends and new goals and a new understanding of my old friends, and again I count myself as the luckiest, most blessed person I know.

The Christmas we get, we deserve. I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I am so grateful.

Merry Christmas, everybody. If your year is half as good as mine has been, you'll be in great shape.

16 comments:

scotvixen said...

Thank you- so far it is wonderful. I can't really even sleep as I am so excited for tomorrow. Wash will have a really good Christmas to remember for this year and you played a part in that too.
Have a wonderful day tomorrow with your loved ones.
Make your own day something to remember.

(and let me know if you need help on Mon dealing with insurance people. I'm getting fairly good at it now...)

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Best of the holidays to you, Jo. Glad to be seeing the far side of the cancer battle; thank you for bringing me along on your ride thru life. I miss working in ER-especially on holidays.
May each step we take lead the way to Peace.~

me said...

Peace ~~~

shrimplate said...

Happy holidays, kiddo. I am glad you are here; the world is a better place for that.

RehabNurse said...

We got pretty, pretty snow, and I lost one friend and one friend just had a stroke in the past week.

Overall the year was great. I wish it could have ended on a sweet note, though.

There's still time...hopefully, it will.

Penny said...

Merry Christmas to one of the very biggest blessings in my life. I will never know why God saw fit to grace my life with your presence, but it's something I thank Him for every single day. I love you, dearest.

messymimi said...

I'm so glad you are here.

Charlotte said...

Merry Merry Christmas Jo!! It is so fun to hear you so happy! I'm so glad you had such a great Christmas and that your friends are doing well too!

AM said...

Reading your blog this year has been illuminating. I've learned a lot from you and I'm so glad you're still writing. Merry Christmas and have a great new year.

danielle said...

Merry Merry Christmas. And a most joyful and blessed New Year to come too!

Rebekah said...

I can only echo the above sentiments re: your spirit and attitude has been very inspirational to me, especially since your diagnosis. I always love your perspective on very normal life things, but your true spirit has come out shining through the adversity.

I haven't commented much lately, because I am always just amazed and (as Pens said) humbled by all of your readers' posts...that it seems like I cannot say it any better.

But I do want you to know that you are much in my thoughts, and I'm continually sending you those good thoughts.

You're a gem....a natural gem.

Peace & Love in the New Year,

Bek

Chef Green said...

You are a wond'rous lady and I'm so glad that the season has been kind to you. What have you done to deserve it? Um...your amazing pay it forward attitude, for one. Essentially: you rock.

Mrs4444 said...

What a great attitude you have--I'm sure it's helped your healing :)

(visiting from Crazed Nitwit's place)

Ames said...

I'm thinking some pancakes are in order, STAT!

Lioness said...

Lovely, lovely post! Dear, dear Jo, have a wonderfully healthy, love-filled, quality-of-life-filled 2011!

Anonymous said...

Wishing you a Happy and Healthy New Year