Saturday, May 22, 2010

I hate nursing. Now what?

You're a nurse. You're paying off student loans with interest rates so high they make you dizzy. You're a new grad, probably working a crap shift in a crap unit, because that was the only job you could find. You're dealing with sick people every day, bullying coworkers, crazy family members, and inscrutable doctors.

And you hate it. You fucking hate it. Your life is a misery; you dread punching in. You lose sleep over having to return to work this weekend (because you've got the crap shifts). You obsess over how miserable you are, but you don't feel like you can quit.

Because of money. Because you've invested all this time. Because the loan guarantors are coming after you for payments, and it hasn't even been a year yet. Because you'll disappoint your family and your friends. And, most of all, because leaving a field that is widely seen as a Fulfilling, Sacred Calling That Only A Few People Are Suited For carries a huge stigma.

Y'know what?

It's okay to hate nursing.

Really.

It's okay to do something else with your life.

Sometimes *I* hate nursing, and I do it and think about it and blog about it and get quoted in books about it and sometimes lecture about it for pay and for free. The key, though, is that I only hate it sometimes. Most of the time, I'm as happy as a baby elephant in a kiddie pool. As messy as this job might be, it keeps me coming back, because it does something for me that nothing else does.

If you hate it all the time, it's time for a change.

I got a BA with a double major in music and sociology. I had no idea what I would do with it; write protest songs, maybe? I hated studying music. Hated it. I have a fair-to-middling voice with no real ability to act or interpret what I'm singing, and I barely scraped through on piano class because I hated screwing up so badly, I could barely practice. It cost my parents tens of thousands of dollars and untold worry to finance my degree, and I ended up doing everything from working in a bookstore to doing voiceovers and voice-mail mazes until that fateful day that I walked into a Planned Parenthood, asked for a job, and discovered what I'm really good at.

And you know what?

My folks, and my husband-at-the time, were baffled by my decision to go to nursing school. Not a one of them could figure it out. Not a one of them understood what it was that got me so het up over nursing, though they could appreciate that I was het up. My father finally said to me one day, "Johanne, I've figured out why you like nursing. You're the only one who was ever good at math."

The point of all this is, she says, taking another swig of Hardcore IPA (quite nice, by the by, if you like a fresh-hopped, dry, strong beer) is that you don't owe it to anybody to stay in a field you hate. Presumably you've done enough of it by now to understand what it is about it that makes you unhappy, and what it is about nursing that's a bad fit.

Eventually, the people who love you will realize that you're happier being a bank teller or a firefighter or an airline attendant, and everything will be fine.

I'll miss you. I'll throw you a huge party when you leave to go to firefighter school, and we'll keep in touch--and I'll be really proud that you decided to do what makes you happy.

Because, at the end of the day, you cannot compromise your own happiness for a paycheck (or to save face). You have to do what it is that you know in your gut will send you to work every day without feelings of dread and horror.

It's okay to hate nursing. Nurse Jo hereby gives you absolution, a blessing, and the help-wanted section of the local paper.

143 comments:

Albinoblackbear said...

I hated nursing for the first 6 months. Hated every second of it. Couldn't sleep, couldn't eat...nothing.

After that slowly the pattern recognition began and I started feeling slightly more competent than my pencil case at nursing.

After that it was a slow climb to enjoyment.

I think it is good to know when you're starting out that you might grow out of the 'crying in the bathroom at work' phase and blossom into an amazing nurse as well.

Brie said...

I totally get this. I spent 4 years earning a degree in chemical engineering. I knew halfway through that I did not want to be an engineer, but I finished, did well, and accepted a position that made my parents beam with joy and a salary twice what my non-engineering friends were receiving. 2 years into it I felt like I'd sold my soul and knew it was time to figure out what I wanted for myself.

After career counseling, personality testing and a whole lot of soul searching I realized that nursing was where I should be. I quit my job and knocked out the pre-requisite classes and will enter an accelerated MSN program this fall.

To anyone who feels I should "consider med school", "become a physician assistant", or "just try another engineering job, you'll make more money", by all means, feel free to submit your own application to the future occupation of your choice. I wish you nothing but the best.

messymimi said...

Growing up, I had two teachers who loathed teaching. Looking back, it is easy to see they did it because they had no choice -- back then, girls could be secretaries, nurses, or teachers.

They were mean and abusive. They obviously didn't want to be there, and needed the money.

That is the other reason not to stay in something you hate. You will not be good at it, you will not be a happy and likable person, and you will negatively affect others (to this day I hate math because they were so abusive when I was first learning).

Excellent post.

felder said...

To be a newbie and hate nursing is almost a given. You have to find your niche and and confidence. Sometimes you are in the wrong area (who would not HATE med/surg). I found that when I work with great people - I don't so much hate my job. I would suggest to any new nurse to change areas/hospitals before walking away for good. Yes, loads of IPA will help too!!!

Homemaker Man said...

I never finished college. I'm going back to school this summer. It's been at least 12 years since I've taken a class. In two weeks, I start work on the pre-reqs I need to get into a two year nursing program. I feel like whenever I have doubt or wonder if I'm making the right decision, your blog will be one of my main sources of comfort. Thank you.

Andrew C said...

I studied computer science for three years while working at a large tech company before admitting I hated my classes and my job. I've just completed my CNA training, have been accepted into a nursing program, and have a job offer at a local nursing home. I'm finishing my technology job this Friday, and will be earning half of what I am now - but it's worth it to not hate my job!

St Catherine said...

Copycat. =D

A NURSE said...

I always *say* I hate nursing, but to tell the truth, I don't think I would have loved anything so much as nursing. That love/hate thing is always there for most nurses.

Would I have loved to do something else instead? Yes. Would it have been practical to do something else? Not in my mind.

Anonymous said...

Jo,
you are the best.
love,
NURSE8 :)

mizpahlouise said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gretchen said...

I got a degree in religion with a music minor because I was good at them and I liked the teachers. One quarter into grad school, I realized how much I hated academia. Now, a few jobs later, I'm working as a security guard. It's not all roses, the pay leaves a lot to be desired, and I'm certainly not going to do it forever. But I'm happier now than I ever was as a grad student, and I've got a stable job I enjoy while I figure out what my more long-term plans are.

Anonymous said...

I hated nursing and did the world a favour by leaving. However, it made me the calmest first time mother you ever met... So a couple of kids raised and now I'm working at becoming an archaeologist. We all gotta do what we gotta do.

Barb

Scrub Ninja said...

I totally agree, even though this is the opposite direction from my situation.

I was a computer programmer for pretty close to 15 years. I liked it for the first few years, and at some high points in the middle, but eventually it turned into an uninteresting, un-fun, unfulfilling slog. I kept at it for two main reasons. First, I was great at it; second, it paid really well.

A couple years back I had two new realizations. First, I could be just as great at some other career. Second, I was spending an increasing percentage of my career in between jobs, which meant it wasn't paying as well as I thought.

Therefore I made plans to get out of the tech sector and be a nurse instead. My BSN classes started yesterday, and so far, I don't hate it yet. =B^)

No matter where you start, it's definitely not easy to ditch an established career and move to something else, but nobody deserves to be miserable. Making the change is like tearing off a band-aid: a short pain followed by relief and freedom.

Coffee Run said...

One day, I shall put pen to paper and write my memoirs. Until then, I have a quote on my monitor that I will be looking at for another two and a half weeks before returning to school for my 2nd bachelors, this time in nursing: Happiness precedes success, not the other way around.

* Never "settle" for less than the joy you are entitled to.

* Live without regrets, and learn from your mistakes.

"Insanity is repeating the same course, over and over, and expecting a different outcome."

Cecilia said...

yup, I hate nursing, even though I know I'm good at it. I would like to go to a different field, but I don't know what and I don't know how... :(

lifeimproving said...

Ha -- I got into nursing after a double major, hated my internship, went to the career center and the lady said, "Well, maybe you should volunteer."

I walked into Planned Parenthood and they gave me a job, instead. After three years there, then working in HIV/AIDS testing and education for six years... I graduate in less than 40 days from nursing school :-).

And somedays I think I made the wrong decision, but most days I'm very happy.

Heidi said...

Crap shift on a crap floor? Yep, sounds like new nurse hell to me! Combine that with a crap hospital and no wonder so many of us newbies don't make it through the first year. When I was in nursing school I was utterly baffled as to how anyone could hate nursing, but then I got my first job... working PM's on a ridiculously busy and dangerously understaffed med-surg floor in a hospital on the verge of being shut down for lack of funds. I cried on the way to/from work everyday, often during work, and also on my days off. Berated myself for being so stupid for actually choosing to be a nurse. But then, got a job back at big academic medical center where I went to school and now I love nursing again. Long story short, I think where you work can make all the difference, so before you quit try try try to find something else. (I know that's much easier said than done right now of course. Nursing shortage... where are you?)

Marjorie said...

I agree with Felder and Heidi about where you work making a difference. When you are in a toxic environment and you feel like you have no friends or allies, then it is time to find an opportunity elsewhere. I've been in stressful jobs before; the difference was the people around me.

Kyle said...

I have been an RN for a little over 1.5 years. I loved my first job- critical care intern on a cardiothoracic floor. Got right into the CVICU after nursing school at a wonderful, magnet hospital. Couldn't stay because I got engaged and my fiance was living 5 hours away. Him having a more established and better paying job (plus living in my favorite town where I grew up and went to college) I moved there. Now I'm on A CRAPPY FLOOR ON A CRAPPY SHIFT AT A CRAPPY HOSPITAL. Cardiac tele floor, very understaffed, very unsafe! I feel so stuck and am HEAVILY considering leaving nursing for the fact that this hospital is union and I have to be on this floor for 1 year before I can go to another. So, where else would I want to work? ICU, duh. Will I be able to get there once my year is up? Doubtful. This hospital also has a critical care internship and hires 6 new nurses every 6 months and they get first dibs on ICU positions. 12 new nurses a year... small number of beds on ICU... highly unlikely I'll get there. The last nurse got hired into ICU after applying for SIX YEARS! I cannot keep up this misery for 6 years hoping to get a break... :(

Anonymous said...

I started out in nursing as a nurses aid in 1978. My first memory is of lining my stuffed animals up and feeding them smarties, changing their dressings and taking care of them with my "pretend nurse kit". But now, 10 yrs. later after 5 yrs. of school, I feel like I have just HATED every single minute of what I am doing. I have endured demotions, declinations of jobs I was more than qualified for, and one humiliation after another, only to find myself hating it more and more every second of every day! I just don't even know what to do with myself. Right now I would rather go work at McDonalds or Arby's than return to my current job as a staff nurse in a nursing home...I mean, how low can you get???!!!! Most days I would rather be dead than go to work, but what alternative is there? The money is ok, but how long does that make a difference?? I just Want OUT NOW! What is a poor soul to do?

Anonymous said...

I have only been a nurse for six weeks, and already I feel like my guts are on fire 24/7. I can't concentrate, I can't think, I can't enjoy my life. I am so stressed out! It is a med-surg rehab facility. Eventually I will be exptcted to take care of 38 patients by myself. We have everything, schizos, manic depressants, trachs, g-tubes, would care, everything. I made a med error my second week. I made another one my forth week. This last week I gave insulin to a patient who wasn't scheduled to have any at HS. Fights break out between patients, pain is never controlled, and I never know what to do! I feel like I make too many mistakes, and don't know enough. How many mistakes are okay to make? Everytime I make one my trainer says she hates her life. I used to be able to give everyone a smile when I came into their room, now I can barely manage a forced grin.

Is it normal to feel absolutely crushed in the beginning?

Anonymous said...

I'm still in nursing school with three semesters to go before I earn my RN, BSN.

I'm struggling to play the "competent nurse" role.

I've been severely ill for seven years now. Serving as a nurse while reconciling my own experiences used to be simple. I was easily compassionate (and still am) and I felt comfortable working in a medical environment as a volunteer or student. But during the last two years I've had a lot of very stressful medical experiences, including very invasive/painful testing and procedures. I've been stripped of my dignity when I was already in pain and afraid. One nurse became angry with me and verbally abusive when I started crying before a procedure.

I've been traumatized by doctors and nurses and when I close my eyes and picture a hospital room... I see the view from the bed, not the doorway.

I can't even focus long enough to walk through a basic client assessment in my head. I'm starting school back this week and I can't sleep because I am so miserable and afraid that I will fail or perform badly in my clinicals.

Anonymous said...

I came into Nursing with a "calling"... pretty deep and intense stuff... after being diagnosed with a benign brain tumor 11 years ago. I worked as a CNA, then Clin Tech, then EMT, I got a BSN, I'm two years away from completing the MSN part-time. I graduated in 2007 and did ER, Public Health, Case Management, and PACU. AND NOW... I don't know what else to try anymore... I hate it all!! I'm either bored to death or I'm overwhelmed and overworked (depending on the job). I am an excellent nurse, I can do med math or IVs with my eyes closed... and the worst part is that being a Nurse is part of my identity as a person!!!! I find myself considering other options but I have no idea what to do other than be a Nurse... I'm a Nurse in the core of me... it's as if "Nurse" were my middle name... I am a Nurse with every fiber of my being... but I hate what Nursing does to me on a daily basis... I hate that my days are 14 to 16 hours long... I hate that hospitals treat Nurses as irresponsible children... they monitor or clock-in times to the dot, they cut our brakes in half if we're lucky to have any, they over work us to exhaustion.... even with a Union behind us... which does absolutely nothing for any Nurse, I must say!!! I am so lost... I hate Nursing.... but I am a Nurse with every cell of my body!!!

Anonymous said...

I have been a male OR RN for 13 years and I fucking hate it. I hate working with dumbshit ancilllary staff, retarded incompetent nurse managers and dickhead surgeons.This job just makes my back and my head hurt. The OR sucks. Stay away! You too will become a walking 35.00 an hour hand maiden to a bunch of cocksmoking jerk offs. Everything you learned in nursing school will vanish from your memory banks. You will become a bovie plugging, suction dumping paper shuffler whose vocabulary will be reduced to yes, no, i do not know and it's on it's way. You will learn to cuss with the best of them and you will pickup drinking. Having to deal with lazy fat ass PCA's and even lazier mouth breathing ST's who think they know everything but couldn't figure their way out of a paper sack. And you will really love it when you have to work with a controlling little queer CRNA who loves to make everyone miserable. I still take care of my patients but I have come to enjoy mopping the floor much more; it brings satisfaction. I can escape the monotonous whining and crying from crybaby surgeons who act like a bunch of spoiled little bitches if their room isn't turned over in 15 minutes. They run and tattle like a little bitch to the NM; give me a break. If you are a new grad RN go to the ICU, ER or even he floor but stay away from the OR.

Anonymous said...

what to say????

Anonymous said...

i'm a student nurse about to graduate in the spring and already i'm googling "i hate nursing" every couple days. i only "chose" nursing because my family pushed it on me and it's the only degree they were happy to help finance. i can't quit now and i think reading posts about how nursing can suck the soul out of you is kinda a good reality check. so many of my fellow students are all enamored/delusional with the idea of being a nurse and making the "big bucks" (ya right), and me, i'm kinda just expecting to be feeling like a suicidal fish-out-of-water grunt the first few years. another selfish reason i settled for nursing is because i'm pretty certain it'll change my personality for the better in that it will make me more assertive and more of a "team-player" because as it is right now i'm pretty introverted/non-social and i want to get over that awkwardness but at the same time i'd rather be my timid compassionate self than a blabber-mouth gossipy heart-of-stone biotch. but who knows,... i think you can learn to like certain aspects of any job, given enough time and confidence, so maybe this nursing thing will stick. I know i definitely don't want to be stuck in the same hospital forever so if 5 years from now i haven't moved on from nursing i'm thinking travel nursing or home health would be the way to go.
why anyone would invest thousands and thousands of $ into a nursing degree is beyond me. whenever people tell me they want to go into nursing i encourage them to go the community college route first so they're not financially trapped in a field they hate.

...best of luck to everyone

AJ said...

I have been a RN for 4 years. I graduated with my BSN and I knew I was going to hate it from my first clinical rotation. I had a nursing professor sit me down and tell me that I was going to be a great nurse but I wasn't going to last more than 5 years in the profession because I "care too much". She couldn't have been more accurate. My clock is winding down and I am ready for a career change.

I love helping people. Unfortunately, there are many variables which pull you away from actually being able to do this.

I have discovered that if you are constantly taking care of others (personally and professionally) and not engaging in any self-care ~ you will eventually resent your patients and burn out. My advice is to have hobbies and don't take every shift offerred to you. Take care of yourself. You will be worked like a dog if you let them do this to you. Always remember - "put your oxygen mask on first". I wish I had done this.

Pick you battles - with co-workers/management and patients. Yes, the older nurses will "eat you" and make you prove yourself. I have promised myself I will never do this. It does get better, just show you are a team player and they come around.

Some positions are better than others but I have found the 'do more with less' philosophy' to be universal right now. Perhaps I have just had bad luck. We all know it is the patient's who suffer in the end but who are we?

I thought I had found the perfect position at my current job but today we had a nursing meeting and we were told to improve our "customer service" - exact quote. I don't feel like this is what nursing is all about.

Anyways that is my two cents. Kinda therapeutic to throw it out there

AJ said...

I have been a RN for 4 years. I graduated with my BSN and I knew I was going to hate it from my first clinical rotation. I had a nursing professor sit me down and tell me that I was going to be a great nurse but I wasn't going to last more than 5 years in the profession because I "care too much". She couldn't have been more accurate. My clock is winding down and I am ready for a career change.

I love helping people. Unfortunately, there are many variables which pull you away from actually being able to do this.

I have discovered that if you are constantly taking care of others (personally and professionally) and not engaging in any self-care ~ you will eventually resent your patients and burn out. My advice is to have hobbies and don't take every shift offerred to you. Take care of yourself. You will be worked like a dog if you let them do this to you. Always remember - "put your oxygen mask on first". I wish I had done this.

Pick you battles - with co-workers/management and patients. Yes, the older nurses will "eat you" and make you prove yourself. I have promised myself I will never do this. It does get better, just show you are a team player and they come around.

Some positions are better than others but I have found the 'do more with less' philosophy' to be universal right now. Perhaps I have just had bad luck. We all know it is the patient's who suffer in the end but who are we?

I thought I had found the perfect position at my current job but today we had a nursing meeting and we were told to improve our "customer service" - exact quote. I don't feel like this is what nursing is all about.

Anyways that is my two cents. Kinda therapeutic to throw it out there

Anonymous said...

I also hate nursing. I got my AD in nursing in 2006 after getting a BS in 2003 because I panicked after the only job I got right after graduating in 2003 was a job in a cellphone store. I was acting like a brat, I didnt do any internships in college yet expected to walk in2 a 40k/yr marketing job. Maybe I shouldve stuck it out and climbed my way up the corporate ladder, maybe there's a reason y I went to nursing school and was only a nurse for about 5 yrs. All I know is I have no idea what I'm supposed to do now, i'm not working as a nurse and I cant bear to even talk to my mom (who is a nurse and who was so happy that I went back to school and became an RN) cuz everytime she asks "Do you have to work tonight?". It makes me feel awful to think that so many people work so hard to become a nurse and I am just not wanting to do it.

Anonymous said...

I came into mental health nursing waving my sword of righteousness. I now wish to fall on it. I'm 46 and tired of know-it-all's, handing out buckets of medication, and watching my back. "Physician heal thyself" said the Wise Man. He knew.

Anonymous said...

Ugh...I started nursing school feeling motivated and excited that I finally am pursuing a career for myself. To help other's and save lives. Schoolwork was simple for me, but as soon as clinical's came about! AHHH! I wanted to break down and cry because I realized that it's not all it's cracked up to be and you don't feel as much gratification and accomplishment as you thought. A crappy building filled with terminally ill patients, with crappy staff,and crappy briefs. Alot of patients just want to be left alone to waste in bed, but you have to "encourage" them to get out and smell the roses and play stupid and hopefully you don't get a patient who tries to bite, punch or scream because their not as stupid as staff try to make you think they are and know their going to die anytime all alone in a disguisting hellish place. I know not all nursing homes are like that, but ours is.

tired RN said...

I have been a nurse for 20 years. I have loved it for all of those years. I have worked in many different areas and have enjoyed it all. But, for the last 3 years I dread going to work. I can't turn off my "problems" with the work environment. The demands of constant patients complaints, the push to do more, the constant demand for another shift. I'm plain tired. But what do i do now? It's all I know and all I have loved.

weareone said...

I am feeling frustrated, depressed, and confused. I graduated less than a year ago with my BSN, got my RN license, and got hired at a good hopsital in a Nurse Residency Program. I've been on my own over 2 months on a busy PCU (Neuro/Trauma), and already don't like it. The people I work with are great for the most part, and very supportive. However, I feel like I am very slow, the doctors scare me, I don't feel like I know what I am doing a lot of the time, and I admit . . . I take shortcuts with charting and paperwork, because that's what bogs me down. I broke down two weeks ago in private to my charge nurse and admitted that I didn't know if I could "do this job" much longer, and that I was so stressed out all the time. I feel like there is so much paperwork and charting to do, that I don't get to really be there for my patients the way that I want to (which is simply to talk to and listen to them). But it feels good to vent.

Anonymous said...

I just quit nursing. 15 years of being a or rn. Done. No more asshole surgeons, incompetent surgeons, no more weak managers, weak staff, smart mouth pa's, know it all crna's, ( by the way your just an overpaid assistant). Good riddance.

helen from cypress college nursing said...

Finished nursing school in 1981 and my first job was on a med-surg floor at a "state-of-the-art" medopolis/hospital. I did actual nursing for five days. I quit medopolis and ran off to psych nursing where I lurked in quasihealthcare for three years. I even rose to position of nursing supervisor in a quasihealthcare institution. Once in this position, I often shut the door and refused to open it when someone knocked on it or answer the phone because I was busy studying for my bachelor degree in history and English. My passion for history and English translated me into a high school teacher for a large district that pays me more money than if I would have stayed in nursing. I traded dirty asses for Jane Austin.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your post. I really needed to read this. Sometimes I feel like an actor in front of patients. Smiling while moving their pillow up/down/left/right, warming up ice cream for 10 seconds, or whatever other silly request. We are short staffed so I'm doing pretty much everything on my own. I don't remember the last time I took a real break. Then I'm put in the middle as patients/hospital administrators are complaining about quality of customer service. I think I've lost my spirit in nursing. Honestly, I was happier making minimum wage in retail. Now I'm taking business classes on a part-time basis. Can't wait for the career change. Again, thank you for your post!!!

Anonymous said...

I did a Yahoo search on "I hate being a nurse what else can I do" and stumbled across this blog. Jo, I want to hug you and cry it out on your shoulder. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I have been a nurse for 16 years. I know work in a crap facility where I am expected to hand out medications to 45 patients within a 2 hour time frame, complete repetitive documentation on computers that freeze or shut down. Manage two cna's who are just as tired as I am, daily admittions with another slew of paperwork. I don't even know my patients, I am too busy trying to complete the documentation and get the never ending med pass done, worried about getting yet another write up for missing something.

Anonymous said...

I am a nurse going on three years now. I've worked 11 hospital systems and several types of units and shifts. It's official....I HATE NURSING! I spend my days off in a frantic search for something more, something better. It's the money that sucks you in! Don't do it! I'm stuck, depressed and don't know how to get out!

Anonymous said...

Thank god I'm not the only one. I am only in my 2nd semester of 4 and I feel like a piece of me is dying every day. I only went into it because I live in a small town that got rid of a great surg tech program and the radiology program has so many prereqs, it would take forever to get it. I'm also 41 and am running out of time to have a real career. What can I do now? I thought that I would be okay with nursing but the more i'm there, the more i realize that it's not for me. I wish I had the cheerleader attitude that everyone else in my class has. I guess for now, I will just have to be miserable

Anonymous said...

Really great assessment of the sentiment. I was a nurse for 9 years and grew to hate it. I transitioned out by going back to school and working less and less in the field until--lo & behold-- I found I have been teaching literature for 12 years and not changed a catheteer or started an IV in at least 10.

Nursing is a good vocation, but not a good career-- at least not for me.

Anonymous said...

It's great to hear I'm not the only one. Especially after hearing how thrilled my old nursing school classmates were with their jobs.
I don't hate work every day but it's very stressful and I never feel like I accomplish anything, though there are a few good nurses who assure me i'm doing fine. My stnas say i'm great to work under, but I'm just not as happy as i hoped i would be when i graduated last june and got my job in LTC/ Assisted living/ Rehab in october.
I'm hoping it gets better, and I don't get fired for being slower or not being as knowledgable as the seasoned nurses who make few mistakes...
I became a nurse to help people, bur i'm not really seeing where i'm doing that now :(

Jessi said...

Often times as a nurse, you will feel (and sometimes be) beaten, abused, defeated, loathsome, exhausted, worried, stressed, scared, undervalued, unappreciated, and depressed.

This is absolutely normal for this field. I have been in it for 6 years and I have seen it from many different perspectives. You can try to change things, but it often doesn't work.

If you can't handle these things, don't choose nursing as a career. You will neglect your own life, your own health, your own feelings, and your own sanity to pursue a career in a field that you probably won't like. And when you find yourself job-hopping, telling yourself that the next job will be better, don't blame anyone but yourself.

I would rather work at a cash register... at least the patrons appreciate you (most of the time).

Anonymous said...

I graduated with ASN degree from a community college then was offered a job right out of school with a pay of 28.00 Hr. The second day of orientationI knew I hated nursing for a fact. I originally went into nursing because I had a "calling". I am a caring and compassionate person. The hospital was a complete mess, we were understaffed, nurse manager was not familiar with telemetry, but managed a telemetry floor! Case load was 6 neuro and telemetry pts during the night. After my 12 weeks of "orientation", I was running charge and expected to respond to all codes while also having a full pt load. I knew I was pushed to my limit when I had a case load of 6 pts, 4 of them needed blood transfusions and one was turning for the worse, plus 3 codes happened in the hospital that night. I switch jobs since then, make more money, 99% less work. But I still hate nursing! Starting my BSN now, but I want to switch out of the nursing field. But, I feel stuck!

Diane said...

Wow, it is painful to read all these posts. I do understand and I know that each and everyone one of us whether we are RNs or LPNs, have probably been through and felt these emotions and gone through tough times. Nursing can be so extremely difficult. Not only are the different shifts, mandatory overtime,working holidays difficult but also the actual job itself. Even with the best intentions , great skills, and a compassionate heart, we still can not do all that is expected. We are placed in situations that basically set us up to fail and then internalize this and think that we are failures..BUT we are not. Many times we are not given the tools or resources to accomplish all that needs to be done within our tour of duty. I have a very entrepreneurial spirit and have started a website called NursesHaveChoices.com . Check it out if you want. But also just know that there is another way. You can still do what you came into loving but now on your terms. I wish everybody luck in whatever you do.

Anonymous said...

That is exactly how I feel. I've been graduated for 9 months now, and I absolutely fucking hate it. I love old people and I am good at it but I just hate it. I feel stuck because it's paying the bills and I don"t have the money to go back to school and the things I want to do don't seem practical even though they would make me happy. Haha life sucks.

Anonymous said...

To all you people who hate your jobs,please do everyone
a huge favor and get out. You make everyone miserable,
including the patients.

Anonymous said...

I have been qualified for 34yrs and I hate nursing.I am a very good nurse,but I hate it.I hate the politics,the politically correct posturing and the fact that,no matter how good I am,I will always be a second class citizen.

Anonymous said...

I just stumbled upon this site. I love being a nurse, caring for patients is not the problem. I hate the system. The system has been broken for awhile now. They just throw new lugnuts at it and call it something else. I'm fed up with incompetent lying managers. Greedy CEO's that don't give a hoot about the patients period. Surgeons that need some serious psychotherapy and the enabling codependent nurses that suck up to them! Sick of it all.

hi said...

My name is Mykethefish and I hate nursing. I have seen so many things in nursing that God did not intend for any human being to experience. You all know what I am talking about. But the one thing I hated the most about nursing is the nurses that I felt were too lazy to do their job and if you say something they will retaliate like a mad dog ... Political back stabbing.... I love people, but I feel that nursing is nothing but a phony profession. Money is all that matters to the many nurses I have met. I have been a nurse for only 7 years, yet out of that seven years I only counted 3 nurses that trully cared about people. So this nursing you all thought was going to be your rainbow was actually the storm that saddened my life. I would rather be a dish washer somewhere in a burger joint , at least I am happy and away from a profession that Florence would be ashamed of.

Anonymous said...

I HATE nursing!!! Im in debt from nursing school (bachelors), am working for a discriminatory company against gays, and work with a bunch of fucking idiots.
I'm the REAL idiot for choosing such a horrible career. I'm SO upset regarding the field, I'm can't think straight regarding what I should do ....at 39 years of age! I dont know who to turn to for help.

Anonymous said...

Thank you! I have always wanted to be a teacher but feel that I owe it to someone to stay being a nurse. Forget that, I am going to get my education degree.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this blog. Although I don't particularly like nursing right now. I have decided to stick through it for now and see if I'll like it because as you say it is a hate/love thing. As others say I may like it after the crying phase is over from the hard work by getting a tougher and more assertive personality. Although I may be miserable or not particulary happy right now, I am making a difference in some people's lives when I go to my clinical days and plus I want to at least try to see if I can persevere through it. It also helped me see that I can later change careers if I so choose to and that it is possible. Thank you for this blog and saying that it is okay if nursing isn't for you. I am kind of on the fence, but I always try my best even if at times I feel I am putting on a face, but it's only so that I can try to give the best patient care they deserve. I am for now just a nursing student and I never thought it would be easy. I just wanted to be less of a burden on my parents and in no way do I underestimate nurses or anyone in the medical field at all. It is a hard job and they are overworked a lot and I appreciate it. Although I am sad alot, sometimes I really am happy seeing my patients smiling on my clinical days. Hearing thank you and you made me feel better makes me feel better too. Also hearing blogging comments from others like that you are burned out but is willing to leave in order to not take it out on the patient is great to hear because it goes to show that you still have compassion for other patients. I just wanted to vent a little. I appreciate everyone's comments and will try to see if I can work through the pain to see if I am meant to be a nurse. Thank you author of the blog and commentors. Sorry that I vented a lot because today I felt so confused and sad.

Anonymous said...

I'm 21, still young enough to choose a different field. I've known since I was in 4th grade that I wanted to be in the medical field. Helping and healing people. It doesn't help that I'm in a family filled with nurses, doctors, pharmacists, therapists and etc. Naturally all my educational goals were geared towards that. Fast forward to today I am a semester away from applying to the BSN program and I decided to take the cna course. I understand nurses are stressed and are demanded a lot from. I see it. I hear it. Imagine being a nurse tech on a 36 bed medsurg unit with 12 patients, no breaks. With nurses that treat u like your less than a human being. Who refuse to help you and expect you be at multiple places at once. Unable to voice my feelings because the other nurse techs are just as quick to stab you in the back. I've forgot why I even chose this field. And I understand now why I can't stand half of my extended family members. This field has changed them. You know that gut instinct, that feeling of pain and panic. It's your body warning you. The weightgain, the depression...why drag yourself thru mud when u can do something you love. It's never too late. Is the money worth your soul. I've taken care of nurses when they are 80, in a hospital bed, with multiple health problems. Is the money worth your quality of life? Stress kills. How can you take care of someone else if you can't take care of yourself.

Anonymous said...

You will loose your time. I am RN. excellent student for nothing. I don't find a job .... no new grad intetnships. I should pay and renew the license without use it. I hate nursing. ( my third career). I hate to invest time and money for nothing. Study many years is the worst thing that happened in my life

Anonymous said...

i hate nursing. i am sitting at my job right now and cannot stop reading everything and anything that has "hate nursing". nursing was my 2nd career. originally i have a bachelors in computers. worked for years and thought i need to do something more fufilling. got my bsn, which almost killed me because of all the stress and have now worked for a year at a subacute rehab unit 11-7. i love taking care of my patients, giving them my time and listen to their stories. everyone that works with me says what a great nurse i am (because i am really good at bottling my anxiety up). but deep inside i hate doing it, i hate having 10 or so patients to take care of. and most of the time i might be the only nurse around!! if something happens i cannot even ask for help because its just me. most of these patients shouldnt even be in our unit because of their aquity. im scared they are going to die on me, fall out of the bed because they are confused (and those bed alarms are a waste of money), or dr yelling at me because i dont know what they are talking about.

i want to RUN. but i feel like a trapped animal.

its funny because if you tell someone you are a nurse everyone smiles and thinks "thats wonderful" but if you tell them you are computer tech its just like "heh, whatever". nursing is very hard and my stress level has been slowly but SURELY getting worse and worse. i know that if i continue working with all of these stresses it will kill me.

Anonymous said...

I hate nursing too. Its all ive known since I was 23. I carry the health insurance, retirement, and make more money than my husband. I have to work full time and I cannot go back to school. I job hop but they are all the same. I am 31 and trapped.

Anonymous said...

I hated it too, but i love, love to teach it to excited young students...plenty of jobs here

Anonymous said...

I am a staff nurse in a nursing home, which I don't mind but... I hate my evening shift which tears me away from my children. I was at work when both kids took first steps. I started drinking waayyy too much after my shifts and wound up divorced because I was either at work, school, or drinking. I am in debt with student loans and haven't even finished my degree (currently an LPN). I am alienated from my kids now because I hardly ever see them, b/c of work hours. I am sick of it and just want a normal job with normal fucking hours, but I can't afford the shift pay cut either. So, I don't know. I should have thought more and planned better in regards to a career. Nursing has a tendency to OWN you, unlike other jobs.

Anonymous said...

I've been a dialysis nurse for almost six years. It is all I did since graduating nursing school. i like the clinic better than the acute setting but I'm tired of the patients. I don't want to help anymore....but don't get me wrong....i DO indeed help at work. Inside I hate everything I do now. I'm currently in grad school for nursing education. I think I would rather do something away from patients. Not sure if I'm going in the right direction. I got a new job three months ago in a large hospital here...but i hate it because I see so many rules and methods broken. I just dont get how we are supposed to follow policy when thewhole unit is breaking it. its annoying. i wish i had a desk job. i might quit soon.

Anonymous said...

Here is indeed the issue for me. I have been working for 6yrs as a nurse and I LOVE nursing. In saying this I HATE my job. I went into nursing to try and help others; to try and be there for people on some of the worst days in their lives. I feel like I have a strong enough shoulders to bear that burden. What I didn't realize is that those shoulders would be chipped away at by doctors telling me that I am incompetent or scolding me because I had the audacity to call them at 3am because they did not reorder a patients cardiac medication even though it was on the communication board and now their patient is crashing. Or that a patients family would call me everything under the sun- even the c word. Or that I would have a patient come at me with a broken beer bottle. And that management will not back you with any of the above issues. This is what I believe they do not prepare you for in school.
*breath*
In recognizing all there things I love my patients. I love educating them when i have a chance (which is indeed not very often) I like making them smile with a very cheesy joke, I like rubbing their back when they are in tears. This very small moments when I get to have a connection with my patients is the ONLY thing that has not made me quit nursing, but I am not sure if I will be able to do it for another 20+ years.

It is sad to see the fallout of great nurses due to their legs being cut out from underneath them. I believe that if they focused more on teaching coping skills in school this would be far less. It is crazy to think that nursing is one of the ONLY professions where they do not have debriefing sessions after a traumatic event; where they EXPECT you to preform miracles on a daily basis; where it is acceptable to treat us with disrespect.

I hope for the future of medicine that this changes. I hope people can regain the courage to get up and go to work with a smile; above all I hope that we can learn to keep our souls intact as we wade through a sea of shit on peoples worst days and be able to help.

Anonymous said...

Here is indeed the issue for me. I have been working for 6yrs as a nurse and I LOVE nursing. In saying this I HATE my job. I went into nursing to try and help others; to try and be there for people on some of the worst days in their lives. I feel like I have a strong enough shoulders to bear that burden. What I didn't realize is that those shoulders would be chipped away at by doctors telling me that I am incompetent or scolding me because I had the audacity to call them at 3am because they did not reorder a patients cardiac medication even though it was on the communication board and now their patient is crashing. Or that a patients family would call me everything under the sun- even the c word. Or that I would have a patient come at me with a broken beer bottle. And that management will not back you with any of the above issues. This is what I believe they do not prepare you for in school.
*breath*
In recognizing all there things I love my patients. I love educating them when i have a chance (which is indeed not very often) I like making them smile with a very cheesy joke, I like rubbing their back when they are in tears. This very small moments when I get to have a connection with my patients is the ONLY thing that has not made me quit nursing, but I am not sure if I will be able to do it for another 20+ years.

It is sad to see the fallout of great nurses due to their legs being cut out from underneath them. I believe that if they focused more on teaching coping skills in school this would be far less. It is crazy to think that nursing is one of the ONLY professions where they do not have debriefing sessions after a traumatic event; where they EXPECT you to preform miracles on a daily basis; where it is acceptable to treat us with disrespect.

I hope for the future of medicine that this changes. I hope people can regain the courage to get up and go to work with a smile; above all I hope that we can learn to keep our souls intact as we wade through a sea of shit on peoples worst days and be able to help.

Anonymous said...

I've worked as an RN for 5 weeks now and I hate it! I got into a Nurse Residency program that turned out to be a disappointment. The training and support I thought I would get never materialized. I feel so fucking overwhelmed. The charge nurse is a total bitch and my preceptor turned out to be a backstabber. I actually wish they would fire me so that I can get out of my 2 year contract. I cry everytime I have to go in. This is not a way to live.

Anonymous said...

The acuity in that ICU must not be very high. I work in a level 1 trauma center and we would never hire a new nurse in our ICU. Try a different hospital with higher aquity patients.

Anonymous said...

Nursing is really just a matter of controlling chaos for the period if one shift .
It's not always possible ! That's the nature of chaos.
The way to enjoy nursing is to give yourself over to the idea that some times your going to lose.
Folks will die. Post ops will bleed. Pills will be missed.
Bullies will bully And you May well get shat on.
Once you see the job as a challenge, a game and the shit you gotta do the steps needed to win. You can start to Have fun. It's o.k. To be twisted. Just have fun. Ride the chaos wave and remember there's someone comming to take over. Breath.

The Nerdy Nurse said...

So I get why some nurses would get the point of burn out and deciding that the "hate" nursing all together. It's a tough job and nurses are often under appreciated. In addition, my nurses work in hostile environments, without adequate supplies, and with little opportunity for breaks.
But nurses have something that many other professionals don't: Flexibility! There are so many nursing speciality that you can transition to to make a change in your career but still utilize your education and experience.
While I understand going back to school if you need to, or really have a passion for something that requires it, nurses just don't have to do this for everything.
If you're a nurse who is interest in a career change there is some really great information and resource in this article on Scrubs Magazine http://bit.ly/1arTy9q.

Jessy said...

I've only been working as a nurse for 3 months and I really don't know if I hate it or not. I felt so regretful during my last year of nursing school, debating whether or not I should even finish! I just hate to think of all the time, money, energy that would go to waste if I choose another field. The only redeeming quality of nursing, to me, is the fulfillment of taking care of most of my patients. Other than that I find myself hating it, not caring, and becoming more and more apathetic to it each day. My manager clearly plays favorites and I guess it was naive of me to think things would be anything otherwise. I just hate the feeling of being stuck, like there are no other options. I would love to be a biology or earth science teacher maybe... You can't put a price on happiness. I don't know if I should hang in there and hope for things to get better. I have dreams of becoming a CRNA, but if I hate nursing now, so early on in my career -- shouldn't I just get out now?

Kat said...

I'm a new grad working on a med/surg floor. I got a FT new graduate position, which few of my fellow students got. I have been working almost 3 months and I dread going to work. I have dreaded going into the hospital since my first clinical. I only enjoyed mental health for a bit but then had nightmares about the patients and found it boring at times. I felt that I should keep going anyways and not quit. I used to not mind night shifts but I hate those now too. I get terrible anxiety on my first day and I only have 4-7 patients. I don't focus on politics or management. The nurses I work with are helpful and supportive. I chose nursing because I wanted to help people, but this is not how I imagined it. I feel that my skills could be improved but I am a good nurse to my patients. Lately though I don't even care. I'm so exhausted and my back is in pain on my days off from all the turning and changing of total care patients. There are some good times in a shift.. funny patient moments or making patients smile but it is not often. I hardly get a chance to have a conversation with patients or give them a full shower. The only reason I'm staying in nursing for the moment is I can't figure out what else to do that makes the same amount of money or more. I also am feeling guilty that my parents paid for my education and could not afford things for themselves during the 4 years. I don't want to be in another medical job but am willing to try other types of nursing jobs that are not in the hospital. I want to change lives and make people happy. I'm 22 and feel so lost.

Anonymous said...

I am leaving nursing after 4 months of having my license. I stared on a busy med-surge floor that was full of bullying, unsafe patient ratios, and a total lack of oversight and support. My orientation was shorter than promised, I was given more patients than promised as a new grad, and was stuck away from my preceptor on a different floor. I finally left after a charge nurse tried to force me to take more than my max amount of patients and being told by the director that I would grow a thick skin within 6 months to a year, etc etc. I went to work every day feeling such anxiety that I would have to defend myself against bully charge nurses, minimal staffing, and a complete disregard for patient safety by the staff. I tried out home health but it lacked any training on their charting system...30 minutes of training several days after I started seeing patients and being told "it's easy, just go do it" whenever I would say I've never done a type of visit (charting wise...those forms are lengthy and very different from acute care forms and I didn't understand what it was asking for). I can be a nurse and care for people, that isn't the issue. I can't put up with the bullying, the jerk doctors who make it a point to belittle you, the directors who think of you as a number on their staffing sheet, and the complete lack of training and support after you get out of school. The anxiety of having people's lives in my hands while feeling like there is no one around who really cares if you know what you're doing or not or have what you need to do the job is just too much. I am going back to what I know I feel good about and don't wake up dreading going to...finance and office setting work. Being a nurse is not for me and that's okay...because it isn't all about nursing people back to health, it involves so much more BS than I am willing to put up with.

Anonymous said...

My heart bleeds as I read these srories..I've been a nurse 30 years. I've done all the above and clearly remember my first job at UCLA..thrown on a floor long before "preceptors" crying in the bathroom. For me, I get tired and resentful of other staff too but my relief is travel and/or contract nursing..u know there's a means to an end..u get thru ur assignment..no involvement with meetings etc..if u can't stand the ppl u work with u know in 8, 10, or 13 weeks u can take a break but make nursing work for you by seeing parts of the world and getting some perspective. Most I was ever at a job was 4 years..can't for the life of me imagine being in one hospital 30 years. Hope this helped..God bless you all ♥

Anonymous said...

I hate nursing! Ive been hit and spat on and developed a uterine prolapse but still have to go to work because if I tell anyone Ill lose my job. Im so depressed as I cant do anything else. Im always extra swee to the patients and try my best but it is not worth it.

Anonymous said...

It was a second career for me, and I hated it from my first day; however I was smart enough to just get a ADN degree. What kept me going is that I would only work per diem or part time and recover on my off days. Now, I quit my last crappy psych job after 6 years and I CAN'T FIND WORK due to the flood of recent grads. I remember working in a hospital as a dietary aide 30 years ago and the nurses (and doctors) didn't work half as hard. A patient stayed on a med surge for a week for something as simple as a tonsillectomy and the nurses would only get maximum 3 admissions per shift. They had LTC wards, nurse lounges, special code teams (guys) that responded to codes. Med/surg floors now resemble ICU's. Also, the public wasn't so smart-sass. They had strictly enforced visiting hours and if they got "loud," security would kick them out of the hospital. Don't know what I am going to do since I have six more years to retirement. Also, I gained 80 lbs being a nurse which I can't shed. I show up for an interview and the young corporate-type recruiter gives me the "ick" look.

Anonymous said...

I've been nursing for 20 years, first vascular, then med/ oncology, back to vascular, then fast track medical then ICU. I've been in ICU for 12 years and I loved it until this year.

Budget cuts and outdated DON's who should retire and never work on the floor to really understand the changes of what nurses now do at the bedside, have removed 12 hr shifts.

Back to the dark ages of late early shifts, 1 weekend off a month and the endless only 2 days off before coming back after nights, 1 being a sleep day.

They talk about compassion saturation, which is now very true because I feel like I spend my entire life there!

Our government is moving to contracts, so the next job I have will only be temporary if I move on.

But yes everything about me is nurse, BN, PgD, MN....

I Really do need to move on, but where to next? I wish I had that answer, cause I currently spend my entire 2 days off searching for that new lucrative career move.

Until then I'm stuck. Rant over. Hail orally other nurses who keep on keeping on :)

Anonymous said...

It's good to hear from those who share the same "pain" as I do. I've been an RN for about 14 years and feel absolutely duped, bamboozled, lied to - you can fill in the rest. Currently work in a large US west coast medical center, staff RN, relief charge when called upon. The on-floor committees (ie. leadership, staffing) simply don't change anything.

I too look @ what others do for a living - cashier, store clerk and imagine myself doing that.

I question my reasoning for getting into this line of work and question those who want to enter into this profession.

Most likely, I'll go back to school. With nothing to do with nursing.

Anonymous said...

I agree@!@!

Anonymous said...

You can never enjoy anything especially time with kids.

Anonymous said...

Been a nurse for 8 years and hated it since I started. I had no idea it would be so aweful when I started nursing school! My first 2 years I became clinically depressed and had to go on medication. The horrible shift work, the toxic environment and the abusive doctors and nurses alike make it nearly unbearable. I decided after 2 years of ortho neuro and surgical nursing that I had to do something different for my own sanity, so I went to pre op and pacu. This seemed like a better option with better hours and a big pay cut. But I did it. This area seems to have even more abusive behavior from co workers and doctors then the last place I was at. I work more call to make up the pay difference so I am there even more now then I was before. The above post about surgery and abusive behaviors is very accurate! I never see my children, but I do the best I can and try not to let the guilt get to me. I strongly discourage anyone I know from going into nursing.........it is not a rewarding profession as I once thought, it is not fulfilling as I once thought....and it literally will suck the joy out of you. I am a much different person today then I was 8 years ago not for the better..... It's unfortunate but true. I encourage people to follow their passion and wish that there was some way it could do the same.

Anonymous said...

I hate being a nurse, especially on the unit I work on. Toxic environment to say in the least. I look at nursing as a bullsh_t profession now. What a waste of time. I truly HATE certain patients now, plain and simple. Like this whiny, self serving, self centered, pain in the a$$ b_tch patient I took care of over the weekend who made it a point to continually remind me that she and her husband are lawyers, and wrote everything down, called the nursing supervisor if her pain meds weren't given EXACTLY when they were due, etc. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! How people can behave this way is freaking beyond me... I'd expect more out of a 2 year old child who doesn't yet have the developmental capacity to know better.

I've been working as a nurse less than a year and I'm already burnt out. I was really looking forward to this full time school nurse job I interviewed for, which I just found out this morning that I didn't get.

Judge me all you want, but until you've been in a nurses c. diff covered shoes, you'll never really know.

Anonymous said...

Grad in may. Had three diff preceptor whom two of were awful. One literally left the hospital while on shift. There was no teamwork. Nurses that had been there for years..20+ were quitting or getting fired. Nurses were scared to talk to director. No team work and just miserable atmosphere altogether. Not to mention 8-9 pts. I never had less than 7 and a few times had 8 with no tech. That's just the icing on the cake....I've got a list. Well I ended up quitting my first nursing job after 6 months..With no two week notice...and am now unsure of even what to do with my life.

Anonymous said...

I just quit my first nursing job (med-surg/stepdown) for ICU. I don't know if it'll be any better/less stressful but there's only one way to find out. I had the biggest smile on my face all day just knowing I only have to work 5 more shifts of hell...

Anonymous said...

All the reasons you made a career mistake

http://justsaynotonursing.wordpress.com

Anonymous said...

I love that reply!!

Anonymous said...

I have been an LVN for almost 15 years and a CNA before that and I HATE BEING A NURSE!!! There are no good jobs for lvs, only in nursi
ng homes and welfare medical clinics. The paper work and charting is overwhelming and I am asking myself daily should I chart or do treatments..I never get to use the bathroom and I have to practically eat my lunch whole without chewing. Iam abused by family members and patients who think they know everything. I almost dropped out 3rd semester but my friends and family encouraged me to finish..so I Begrugedly did...now I cant afford to quit and work a lower paying job and I have too much debt to go back to school. Ya..I wish I would if picked another career. Nursing sucks...and I would never suggest that anyone do it.

Anonymous said...

You are getting paid to care for people who are at their worst! Suck it up and nurse or get the hell out of it! These comments are crazy. Nobody like politics, policy, MANAGEMENT...but that's every fucking job!! Sounds like there should be a lot of soul searching going on here. Nursing is hard. It's emotional, and it's unfair most of the time. But you have all the power to make a difference in the lives of people who are at their worst. There comes a point where a little empathy will go a long way. Put yourself in their shoes and if you wanted your fucking ice cream defrosted for 10 seconds while you were sick I bet you would ask your mom without hesitation.

Anonymous said...

You forgot to add fat shit nurses that that their personal lives and are unbearable to be around for 13 hours. If bacon thirty is the highlight of your shift you're definitely part of the problem.

jewals said...

MR or Ms Anonymous, if your resume or diction resembles your responds in the slightest it is no wonder you can't fins a job, You can't even formulate a proper sentenced for God seeks!

Anonymous said...

Jo, THANK YOU!! I really needed this! 35 years of nursing and I've been burnt out for a long time now. I need to make the 'break' to follow my heart and connect with my creative side. I'm so tired of dreading my work days. Gotta be brave and MOVE ON! It's time and I SO appreciate your words of encouragement... I really needed this desperately.

B~ said...

I think nursing can be like opera. "you either love it or hate it," as stated by Richard Grier in the movie Pretty Woman. I have been a nurse for 21 years, 14 of which a Nurse Practitioner. I went into nursing thinking that it was going to be great, but quickly learned after a short time working on an Oncology/Med-Surg unit (night shift) that I could not it for the next 40 years plus. I thought the solution would be to become an FNP. Surely things would be different and better. I am sad to report that the difference is not much. I find myself fighting for respect regarding my profession and expertise. If one ,more patient asks me "why did you just not become a doctor?" or "what is a Nurse Practitioner, or better yet "Are you the doctor's assistant, " I think I might start drinking heavily-LOL (Just Kidding)! Although education,professionalism, and knowledge are a reflection of my clinical expertise, physicians, medical assistance and even other nurses still can be quite disrespectful of NP practice. After all these years I am burnt out and regret not taking a different path when I had the opportunity. DO NOT waste time. It moves too fast. If you hate nursing leave. It is really okay. Be brave. Find something that you truly want to do and do not mind doing it almost everyday. In the end you are only doing a disservice to yourself and patients that need you to continue doing something you absolutely loath.-B

Anonymous said...

I AM AN LPN FOR THIRTEEN YEARS IN LONGTERM CARE. IT IS A FUCKED UP JOB AND IT SUCKS TO HELL AND BACK. IF YOU ARE THINKING OF DOING IT DONT. YOU WILL REGRET IT, UNLESS YOU ENJOY WORKING LIKE A FUCKING MULE AND GETTING ABUSED AND OVERLOOKED FOR PROMOTION EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY BE MORE QUALIFIED THAN THE YOUNGER STAFF, IF YOU DONT SUCK SOMEBODY OFF YOU WONT GET ANYWHERE EXCEPT THE SLAVERY POSITION YOU ARE IN. IT IS THE WORST CARREER CHOICE I EVER MADE , I USED TO LOVE PEOPLE, I USED TO WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE, NOW I KNOW YOU CANT BEAT THE SYSTEM, ITS ALL ABOUT MONEY, MANAGEMENT DOESNT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU OR THE PATIENTS, THEY TALK THE TALK BUT DONT WALK THE WALK. I HOPE I DIE BEFORE I HAVE TO BE IN A NURSING HOME. LAST BUT NOT LEAST, TO ALL THOSE FAMILY MEMBERS WHO BITCH 24/7 ABOUT THE CARE THAT MOMMA GETS, WELL, WE ARE DOING THE BEST WE CAN,IF IT AINT GOOD ENOUGH THEN FOR GODS SAKE TAKE MOMMA HOME, AND GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Anonymous said...

I just graduated nursing school in May with an associates degree. My second semester was the worst time I have ever had in school in my entire life. The instructors made our lives a living hell and we barely made it through. After graduating, it literally took everything in me to study for NCLEX. And I didn't study like I should have-like I COULD have. But the thing is I didn't really care if I passed or not. I had 265 questions, and was absolutely sure I failed. And I didn't care. Imagine my face when I found out that I passed. I have put in 11 applications since then. Got two interviews in nursing homes. And I stopped wanting to be a nurse half way through my last semester. I had put so much money and time into it that there was no way I was giving up. But now that everything is done- I don't want it. I would almost pay someone to take my initials away from me. I feel like they are just a burden to me. I feel as though my family is going to be so disappointed in me after all this time, but I can't help it. If I think about being a nurse I get sick. I'm terrified of all the responsibility that come with those initials. I don't think it really hit me until I was working my preceptorship. Then it was real. And now I really don't want it. So I have this potential to be something great. Do something amazing. Save lives even. With good pay too. And I don't want it. I feel very stuck. So since I can't find a job as a nurse (nor do I really care to) I am going to search for some part time jobs until I am ready. I will keep my license up, purely so I will never have to take that terrible test again. And either return to school for something else or work a very miserable career. It is very nice to know I'm not alone with these feelings.

Anonymous said...

Neither can you.

Louixa said...

I just wanted to say, thank you so much for writing this entry. I went into nursing but I hated it during my first semester. It was never a dream for me to become a nurse. But even so, I felt that I should still slave through with it in hopes of liking the actual job afterwards. But I was still troubled. I was scared that if I went through with the program, I would waste money, effort, and time, just to work and quit a few years after. And on top of that, feeling miserable for that point of time. After realizing I didn't want to waste my youth with this any longer, I dropped out. A lot of people were shocked when they found out. And I felt something I was surprised of feeling: guilt. I felt a lot of guilt for leaving this area. There are so many people dreaming to be in my place and yet I let it go so easily. It seemed like the wrong choice. And continued to feel really guilty for awhile. It was like, I was about to go into an area to help people, but now I don't want to help these people anymore. And then I stumbled on this entry and it made me realize, nursing just isn't for everyone. And just because you can't be in the medical field, it doesn't make you any less of a person than anyone else who chose not to do this either. I only have one life so I might as well do something that I can do the best at. If I enter a field half-heartedly, I won't be helping anyone. In fact, I will probably make things worse for my patients. I've decided to face myself and do whatever it takes to find the best fit for me. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I have grown to HATE nursing so much because of the supposed "leaders" in this line of work.

The final straw for me was finding out today that my former cuntrag manager mass-forwarded an email I had sent to an HR recruiter originally inquiring if I could apply for a position. I found out from a nurse I used to work with that the email went "viral" and the very mature and classy 50-something year old manager made a snide remark about me. On the off chance that these two idiots are currently reading the post, I hope that what goes around comes back especially hard for you!!! I guess this is how these two old washed up cunt nurse bitches make use of their free time.

I really don't wanna keep dwelling on it, but most of these nurses in administration thinks the little power they've been granted means that they're in charge of the fucking universe. And they complain about Doctors having God complexes??? Catty, bitchy, competitive women that never mentally graduated high school are rampant in nursing.

Anonymous said...

Good job Louixa... Wish I had done what you did... I graduated in May 2012 with a BSN and without any desire to ever use it again. I should've listened to my instincts that first semester too, when I questioned if it was really what I wanted to do with my life. I guess you live and you learn though.

Lily M said...

I hate nursing more and more every shift. Sometimes I feel like to walk right out the hospital when I work short again in ICU with 2 medically ill also “crazy” patient as well as a crushing patient in the ICU. Nobody cares we are walking on the edge of risking our licenses while taking such assignments. Just early this week, a vesicular patient in ICU has been request 3mg Dilaudid every 2 hours on the clock said he hated me because I was not be able to give his medication on time while I was taking care of the other patient is crushing and eventually died in that shift. I hate nursing and want to leave it. However, where can I go? I have mortgage to pay and 2 young children to raise. I need money also. I said to people I would leave nursing for anything that pays close. I am graduating from BSN this year but really have no money to pursue higher education and I do not want to either. Getting BSN is only because our hospital requires it. I pray and need help to find a job so that I can leave nurse for good!

Lily M said...

I hate nursing more and more every shift. Sometimes I feel like to walk right out the hospital when I work short again in ICU with 2 medically ill also “crazy” patient as well as a crushing patient in the ICU. Nobody cares we are walking on the edge of risking our licenses while taking such assignments. Just early this week, a vesicular patient in ICU has been request 3mg Dilaudid every 2 hours on the clock said he hated me because I was not be able to give his medication on time while I was taking care of the other patient is crushing and eventually died in that shift. I hate nursing and want to leave it. However, where can I go? I have mortgage to pay and 2 young children to raise. I need money also. I said to people I would leave nursing for anything that pays close. I am graduating from BSN this year but really have no money to pursue higher education and I do not want to either. Getting BSN is only because our hospital requires it. I pray and need help to find a job so that I can leave nurse for good!

Anonymous said...

Re:

Anonymous said... (written 11/2013)

It's good to hear from those who share the same "pain" as I do. I've been an RN for about 14 years and feel absolutely duped, bamboozled, lied to - you can fill in the rest. Currently work in a large US west coast medical center, staff RN, relief charge when called upon. The on-floor committees (ie. leadership, staffing) simply don't change anything.

I too look @ what others do for a living - cashier, store clerk and imagine myself doing that.

I question my reasoning for getting into this line of work and question those who want to enter into this profession.

Most likely, I'll go back to school. With nothing to do with nursing.

Update (9/2014)

I decided not to throw away my years of seniority. I switched to per diem status 5/2014. It took months to get approved due to recent managerial/leadership changes and also had multiple interviews with other departments. It feels good looking from the outside, in. All in all, I think I actually respect the nursing profession even more since my hours cut down - but have absolutely no interest in rejoining the fray. Folks around me envy my schedule. Leadership has encouraged me to advance my degree (MSN, MN, or above). I told them I'm thinking about it, but in reality I have no interest what so ever in anything above my current BSN. I know that reality will hit at some point from a financial standpoint. But right now, it seems to be working just fine.

Anonymous said...

I never liked working on the floor as a staff nurse. It was boring and physically and emotionally taxing. I went back to school for MS/FNP and have loved every clinical rotation in outpatient clinics and nursing homes and am really excited to get started now that I've passed boards! If you are not happy with your job as a RN, you may want to consider advanced practice.

Anonymous said...

I have been a Nurse for 15 years, CNA before that. I absolutely do NOT want to do it anymore. High anxiety that never plagued me before, is there on a daily basis now. Hubby is baffled and a little scared I think, because of the financial change it will cause. I just can't do it anymore...but, not sure what other choice I have. It's flippin miserable.

Anonymous said...

Lmfao

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure when it was that I started to hate nursing. Probably forever. There are many reasons I guess, but now that I'm older, I have no qualms about ditching it. I've just announced that I'm retiring from nursing, at age 58 and I have no idea what I'm going to do. Work I suppose, but anything is better than being a nurse and I've been doing it for 33 years. Probably shaved 10 years off my life.. Oh well. At least I'm moving on now.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for being here and sharing this. I am really, really struggling with what I truly believe is NURSING BURNOUT also known as "Compassion Fatigue" Anyone who's been though nursing school knows it's no cakewalk. So I doubt we get into it just for the money. There was a time I was excited about it. That was twenty years ago. I feel I am a shell of my former self. It takes every ounce of energy for me to go to work and try to be there for my patients. I've purposely cut my schedule down to three days, maybe four per week. It's all I can take. I am glad you are here so I can "scream" out somewhere, how unhappy I am with this career as of late, not because I don't enjoy making a difference in peoples' lives, or the science part of it, but just all paperwork / EMR , "not documented not done" people pick apart not what you did do but what you didn't do, etc. Just feeling sick of it. Feeling stuck. Need a change in career. This isn't fair to me OR my patients. They get an actress who goes through the motions, but who's heart is just not in it anymore. Thank you HMOs, Administrators, for making this a miserable career. Looking in earnest for somewhere I can make a living and hopefully be happy. If I continue much longer at this I feel I will need to check myself in to the same residence I currently work for (I am a mental health nurse, ironically!) Thanks for letting me vent here.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for being here and sharing this. I am really, really struggling with what I truly believe is NURSING BURNOUT also known as "Compassion Fatigue" Anyone who's been though nursing school knows it's no cakewalk. So I doubt we get into it just for the money. There was a time I was excited about it. That was twenty years ago. I feel I am a shell of my former self. It takes every ounce of energy for me to go to work and try to be there for my patients. I've purposely cut my schedule down to three days, maybe four per week. It's all I can take. I am glad you are here so I can "scream" out somewhere, how unhappy I am with this career as of late, not because I don't enjoy making a difference in peoples' lives, or the science part of it, but just all paperwork / EMR , "not documented not done" people pick apart not what you did do but what you didn't do, etc. Just feeling sick of it. Feeling stuck. Need a change in career. This isn't fair to me OR my patients. They get an actress who goes through the motions, but who's heart is just not in it anymore. Thank you HMOs, Administrators, for making this a miserable career. Looking in earnest for somewhere I can make a living and hopefully be happy. If I continue much longer at this I feel I will need to check myself in to the same residence I currently work for (I am a mental health nurse, ironically!) Thanks for letting me vent here.

Anonymous said...

I've been in nursing for 15 years..... 8 years as an LPN, then this last 7 years as an RN in Labor and Delivery. I loved my job as a labor nurse. I have had a wonderful career so far with a wonderful hospital and management team and support from coworkers.... this last year however, management has changed, all the requirements for state regulations is changing, and the bullshit around being more of a "hotel" and more and more charting instead of good quality patient care is wearing me out. I can honestly say I'm hating every minute of it now. I dread going in to work, even though I still enjoy seeing a wonderful birth, I'm tired of being short staffed, unappreciated, and spending more time charting than giving good care to my laboring moms. I know I'm good at it. that is what sucks. I'm good at my job. I just hate it now. I'm considering a new career but have no idea what to do. With 5 kids and bills/mortgage/student loans I'm forever paying off I cannot feel like I can leave yet.... Back when I first started it was so much easier, the pt care was so much more fulfilling and the job was about giving your patients what they needed.... now its about making money for insurance, cutting costs on things pts really need, and charting just the right amount for when a pt sues.... i'd almost rather be a barista at this point and be prepared to screw up a coffee order and not be in charge of a life and how the hospital is going to get reimbursed. Management has no clue. If they could just step into some scrubs and be in our job for one 12 hour shift, they wouldn't make it one hour..... so sad to see my fellow nurses I work with leave after 20-30 years because of all the upper management decisions. Sad to loose such good nurses who are good at what they do over too much red tape and paperwork.
Thank you for letting me vent! i'm so glad i'm not the only one who feels this way.....

Anonymous said...

I'm glad that I'm not the only one...with the job market being so bad I know I should be grateful and suck it up because I have a job, but working as a nurse has been mentally and physically debilitating. Can I see myself doing this for another 30 years?! I'm so unhappy with my career choice but I have to work to survive.

Anonymous said...

Try reading this. It's a good advice book that isn't "anti-nursing" but rather tells you how to use what you learned in nursing to transition into another career.

http://www.amazon.com/How-Get-Out-Nursing-non-nursing-ebook/dp/B00PUE4GC4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1424657841&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+get+out+of+nursing

Anonymous said...

Why isn't there a response to this? I'm in a similar situation. Please seasoned nurses shed some light

Anonymous said...

Yes! It sucks the blood out of you! It DOES get better. But the CHRONIC UNDERSTAFFING that well-fed-every-fricking-weekend-AND-every-Jolly-Holiday-off Hospital Administrators turn a blind eye to? That's the part of the job that's truely sickening!

Anonymous said...

Now wait just one damn minute! Who are you to tell anyone to get out of anything? Lots of folks here, and lots of reasons that they just can't up and leave the Nursing Profession. Kids must be fed, bills must be paid, and crushing, crushing college debts must be paid. What they need is a little empathy and understanding. When you feel boxed in, telling them to do the world a huge favor and get out helps not one bit. Perhaps YOU are happy, fine and good and all the best to you and for you. But people have legitimate concerns here about satisfaction and Professional issues about crazy, crazy, crazy understaffing, really dangerous situations, and terrible bullying that ALL TOO OFTEN comes from OTHER NURSES. TOO OFTEN, WAAAAY TOO OFTEN, THIS HAPPENS, WITNESS THESE NUMEROUS POSTS! It is HEARTBREAKING to essentialy read the same COMMON themes in these posts over and over and over again! The commonality of them should ASTOUND YOU. Yes, Virginia, there are disgruntled malcontents. Everywhere. In EVERY Profession. SOME are posting here. But most are not, and they have legitimate issues that are eating them alive. Just where is your compunction to tell them that, and where in the Hell is your compassion, let alone your empathy? They DON'T want to be miserable, or make anyone else miserable, for God's sake!

Anonymous said...

Open up a Nursing journal or any "Professional" publication. You know , the Nusring "Research" "Management" ones. Ditto the Union Rags. Almost every article will start with "Nursing Satisfaction with: (fill in the blank here with ANY bullshit you wish) Look at the pix of the "Researcher". She will be : Fat, middle aged, and White. And have waay too.many letters and titles and certifications, to the point of ridiculousness: an alphabet soup. No Real professional lists ALL.of that bullcrap, just metely their Highest Educational Level Acheived! Give me a break! Flip to the Nursing "Leadership" "conference" section, if you dare, but at least on an empty stomach, and here you will find: Another Alphabet Soup Wonder! She will be fit and trim. Very nice teeth! You wil come to the conclusion that NEITHER of these women (and they WILL be women) have ever layed hands on a patient this Century. Or longer. Or, more than likely, on ANY HUMAN BEING...this for any purpose whatsoever this Century.Or longer. Notice as you turn the page, the images of these "Leaders" are completely two dimensional, much as they are IN PERSON merely two dimensional, should you hapstance on one in person. The thinnest book in the world? Nursing Leaders. And it's precisely why this "Profession" is the Laughing Stock of the Medical Community, mere Court Jesters in a Conga Line. I Speak Truth, and every REAL NURSE knows it. That's just how it is, Folks.Welcome to The Nursing Outer Limits, where for them, at least, they don't live in a world where Call Lights Never Reset, and PCA alarms never cease. The Sad part? These "Nurses" have found their way out of the Floor Hell... but they did so by being the complete Phonies that they are. Furthermore, they secretly despise you, loathe Nursing, but will tell you and everyone differently. Because it's working for them. And The System Grinds On. YOU might hope for fairness and good, even if it comes in the next life, but you can bet they are for the Here and Now, and Number One. Never have I seen so many Cluster B Narcissists and yes, Sociopaths as those in Nursing, Medical, and ohhhh let's NOT FORGET, those Hospital Administrators. To NOT be their Lap Dog Lackeys means you have a target painted on your head...you better be a Happy Little Susie Staff Nurse, OR ELSE. The Or Elses come when CHRONIC UNDERSTAFFING BY THEM gets translated into YOUR ANNUAL EVALUATION as "you don't prioritize you time effectively...blah blah blah" Sellouts to Satan, for sure! The TRUTH: YOU don't have time to take a piss, and LUNCH? What the Hell is THAT concept anyway, Lunch? EVERY DAY IS LIKE THIS. EVERY. YES, I SAID EVERY. But, they sure as Hell get theirs. You'd be a Damned Fooll to not be fed up with this crap. Wal-Mart is actually starting ro look like a BETTER career choice.

astardustparade said...

Dear lord I am dying of laughter at your colorful depictions of the staff you work with. I'm already feeling burnt out as a new grad doing home health nursing. And I thought it would be less stressful than LTC.

Anonymous said...

Why it took me this long to read this blog..... Maybe just recently "I HATE NURSING" has been my mantra..It takes all of my strength to go to work and i jave to storm the heavens everytime i go to work.. I've been working in the ICU for five years now and i think that i have grown old..i am very stressed and burned out because i see patients die all the time and i am doing everything but they die eventually
.not to mention patient loads,lazy seniors,and bossy doctors who think we are robots,crazy on calls.. I think i need counselling...

Anonymous said...

As a 50+ year old male nurse, I have done almost everything in nursing. Changing work environments every few months to few years because I mastered each position to the point where I wasn't learning at the rate that kept me satisfied. I can't say I hate nursing but I sure am tired of it. Taking care of people who don't take care of themselves is MORE THAN EXHAUSTING.
Thank goodness that I have the financial means to reduce my schedule to 0.5FTE and that helps but even at my age I still need to grow. Maybe it's time to start that sailshade business I've always wanted to.

Anonymous said...

Hi:) I really appreciate your honesty. Do you mind sharing what the response was of your charge nurse after you told him/her how you felt? And how are you doing now by the way?

AZgirl said...

What you are feeling is absolutely the norm, we all make mistakes. We are human. Not robots as the sytem expects. I remember my first week on my own in the ICU . i miscalculated a medication and gave a little more ativan then i should have like .5 as apposed to .25. Guess what tne patient did not die! Then i called a Dr. Because my patient was having respiratory distress. I said to the doc. What are your orders? He said to me in a very gruff condescending voice, " this is how it works, you call me and tell ME what orders YOU need! And hung up, i cried and ( alzo i was i 8 mos pregnant) so from that point on over 12 yrs ago.
I never call a Dr. Without telling him what needs to be done! My point is Every mistake is a learning experience. Note it and decide what could have caused the error, if you are stressed or insecure about your skills aa a nurse, you will make more mistakes. So stay calm, block out all the bitching and moaning from patients, vistors other staff, and nust do what you have been trained to do. You will rock it! Good luck

Disheartened in MN said...

Ughhhh. Yes! So glad I'm not alone. New grad at quite literally, the worst possible place of employment (but they offered the most $ and a huge signing bonus-hindsight, you know...).
I am just a babysitter of society's degenerates while they watch the clock waiting for their next opiate fix from the world's lowest paid drug dealers (ie nurses).
What have I gotten myself into!!!

Nextpls said...

I loved being a nurse, never considered doing anything else until I was diagnosed with BiPolar disorder. I haven't worked for almost 5 years, I attempted to go back to nursing at one point but realized I just couldn't. I still don't know what to do when I grow up. The stress and anxiety of the job isn't worth my mental health, but its still difficult saying "I used to be a nurse".

Nextpls said...

Finally, somebody who says it the way I lived it! Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious. I'm going to read blogs more often people are honest here. I have no experience with surgeons but do have with care aids and fellow nurses. It's all a game at work I've come to realize. A few are honest and speak the truth other have a rod up their butt and try to shame anyone give n the opportunity. I keep a notebook with me now and log what I need to;Coworker bullshit/games as well. Nursing is a business, no one cares if you have to spend more money after graduating to get a job, its competition amoungst employees who will get that full-time job posting, its belly aching and manipulation from some patients, managers checking in (put up a fake smile and use your manners remember even if he or she is a dummie and doesn't pay attention to detail pick your battles! Learned all in a few years. Lol. Check out patriot nurse she speaks her mind and has cool stuff online. Nurses whom speak the truth about nursing, whom work hard have good ethics provide good care, are easy going and helpful make all the difference in a nursing day. Working on my direction in nursing. Just happy I have a job that pays decent right now to survive in this world. Seems like full-time jobs are nil unless you are specialty trained. If you have common sense which you probably do if discussing the flaws of nursing profession then you are cable of a transition into acute care. The scariest part is feeling like we won't know what to do and then worrying about what family patients and coworkers think. Apparently the answers are floating around us, and bwsides if yiu believe you in fate then things are ways of dealings aee meant to be as they are for spiritual lessons in life. Don't spend your life preparing we are meant to do. Learn as you go and figure out how you learn best so when confronted about something you can support yourself. Don't give people more trust than you give yourself, people are looking for a victim to take their frustrations of life out on. Don't be it, use your voice when need be. If that means organizing your thoughts and readdressing the situation, isdue so be it. Dont we have to do reflection studies in school and for our professional accountability? Yes. We do the best we can in the moment and there after ponder what's bother you throught self reflection and see what yoy may have done that made yiu feel good. Don't become an ego be excited you learn ed or handled something well or better than you thought you could have. Blah blah. Its the small moments nursing that make my heart fill other days its just a job. Hopefully i will find my absolute passion oneday. All the best! Sorry for your troubles life is really hard sometimes but it does eventually get better for periods of time.

Anonymous said...

I just want to say thank you to the creator of this blog. And also I love all of you who posted here <3 I feel you guys. I'm at the lowest point in my life right now, a semester away from graduating nursing school. I can't even find a job right now during school and I'm just wondering how I'm going to find a job when I graduate or if I even want a job as a nurse.......

Unknown said...

I am an rn from nj fir ten years and everything that guy rn who works in the or said is exactly how I feel but I work in long term care the bullying is real there are very few good nurses out there and your basically working with a bunch of assholes. If you do your job truly care and your good at it they talk shit call you crazy if you stand up for yourself and tell the coven of witches off like I did you get in trouble or blacklisted for not being able to get along with these witches but it okay for them to spread malicious rumors about you report you for bullshit and give you dirty looks while they leave their pts with leaking tubes dehydrated or inproperly cared for I hate this profession it's the most unprofessional profession it has caused me misery and anguish for a decade and don't tell me to get the hell out bc you know what I make a difference with my patients I give them the care they deserve and need so ctfu to all those responses. I am sick to death of the nasty nurses who don't help and ignorantly leave their patients in a mess for the next shift and God forbid you say anything as an agency nurse your done. The negligence I have seen is ridiculous. I have fought many battles being a pt advocate or not taking the bullying sht and I never win but I will not be abused by another nurse or mobbed bc it happened to me as a new nurse and I am confident enough in my skill set where I don't have any problem telling them about themselves so therefore I am mainly disliked bc I refuse to gang up on other nurses for no reason oh and yeah I'm not lazy I speak my mind and my work speaks for itself and the doctors and patients trust me. Plus I come into work with ironed scrubs makeup and I don't look like a wrinkled scrub oh yeah and I try to help my fellow nurse and I don't go around the whole facility talking about how I had to help so and so I have seen nurses treat a seventy year old agency nurse like a piece of shit she is a nice person why do they do that bc they are nasty people can't help themselves instead of tearing each other down we should lift each other up but it will never happen why bc it is the accepted counter culture in nursing and this is half the reason why nursing sucks no use complaining the other reason is there are lazy nurses who don't give a shit about anyone but themselves and what time they are leaving this goes against everything nursing stands for its disgusting and I see it everywhere so to all nurses out there who are burnt out but love making a difference in what ever aspect of nursing you are in I'd say tough it out work part time do another job outside of nursing bc there are very few good nurses left and without us then who. Patients need good nurses who care and believe me even the half demented elderly can tell who they are and they really do appreciate it. I have brains balls and no home I do agency why bc I can't stand the nasty female game playing bullshit I prayed a saint Jude novena to help me find a decent home bc ten years of this us sucking the life outta me I'm 38 now and I'm going to be fifty real soon with nothing But my love of geriatrics somehow keeps me in it although I will not work ft in one place bc of drama. I even work weekend overnights to try to avoid it. It's really bad in Ltc in jersey south I dunno all I can say is I understand

Anonymous said...

I agree, what a cunt

Marianne L.G. said...

This message is coming a little late. I am a second career nursing student who is also a Student Nurse. I hate nursing school and I hate the hospital environment. I LOVE earning, but the politics of both environments is weighing on me heavily. I come from an IT and HR background and it was much different than nursing. I have a goal for 5-6 years down the road. I know I am going to have to put up with a lot of sh*t to get there, but at this point seeing that goal is the only thing getting me through each school day and work day.

Indigostar said...

I think you did the right thing. Nursing is terribile now esp in Ltc I myself have been doing it ten years gone thru abusive lateral violence from psychopath nurse from day one also met angle rns who trained me the right way to be a nurse. I am burnt out no joy hate what I see in Ltc get taken advantage off as an agency nurse working for Lpn rate as soon as they find out I'm rn get my asdhole handed to me on s platter that's fine I get job done correctly take my time and since in south jersey a majority of Ltc facilities are owned by hassidic s from Long Island they refuse to pay ot. Or pay at all beyond 8 hours in many places so I refuse to punch out and continue to work so I work on clock and they refuse to pay. I work with some very hostile people and a few Angels. I'm done with nursing it's too bad bc I have a lot to give and I was trained well by excellent intelligent caring old school nurses who taught me to put ot first always complete my work follow up and be accurate and detailed do not leave a stone unturned this caused many problems for me in Ltc bc it intimidated nurses who did not work like me. I can't just be in the middle I give my all and oh yes I speak out big no no that means blacklisting no work. I'm done I'm cleaning houses soon. Burnt out didsapointed and made myself sick got flu Epstein Barr levels shit up to over 600 and I can't imagine going back to nursing in a facility I am disgusted not just by how I got treated but what nursing had turned into. I want my joy back so I will now begin my new career as a house cleaner making ten dollars an hour. What a waste of ten years and over 17k met some of the most fucked up psychopaths and some of the kindest natural born nurses The evil ones unfortunately outnumber the good ones and it's getting worse. If you hate it get out before you make yourself miserabile. Life is too short I thank God I am married but now I m gonna be a happy maid oh well nobody promised me a rose garden but at least I will have peace joy and my life back

marie h said...

I'm so glad I found this blog. Nurses' ranting about what they love and hate about nursing. It's what Nurses' do best. I have had a few jobs over my 55 years, but nothing compares to Nursing. I still remember what my Nursing teacher told me over 18 years ago, "You will never make it in Nursing, if you are too soft, you've got to harden up". Well I sure did, but I'm still a softie at heart, and can never take it out on the patients. I did that once to an old female patient, and had her in tears, that's not what Nursing is about.
I have come to realise that no-one wants to be sick, dying or lose their mind.
It's just that Nurses' get to share this each and every time their patient goes through it. So we end up living it as well. To me sometimes its' like going to war, most Nurses I am sure suffer from Post traumatic stress disorder, only they have no support for it, and eventually burn out.

Wildkat X said...

I'm an emergency room nurse, formerly worked inpatient neurological rehab. I hated inpatient care- but I was great at it (many compliments from patients and some staff). I am great at emergency room, (same). But I hate it. I loved ambulatory clinic but can't find a job in one. I hate bedside. I care too much (outside observation), and I work so hard, I have nothing left for my family. I have a 3 year old that I'm too tired to take to the park or even play with on the floor on my off days. I have a husband who I'm too tired to sit up with at the end of the day and connect with. I hate frequent fliers and drug seekers who milk the system. I hate patients who spit and bite. I hate lazy ass nurses who get away with knowing nothing and performing less-than-nothing. I hate know-it-all BRAND NEW nurses who don't listen but have no fucking skills. I hate that my dumb ass director hired those bitches. I hate pompous asshole emergency room medical directors who are so busy patting themselves on the back, they can't remember to put my Damn orders in promptly or properly. I hate double charting. I hate staff meetings on my day off, where nothing ever gets resolved, anyway. I hate running around, doing my work, doing rounds, charting and being busy when half-ass nurses are sitting down, relaxing when half my running I'd for their patients because they only asked me because I'm the only nurse they saw and they don't want to wait for their nurse to walk by! I hate psychiatric patients who don't take their Damn meds at home, get sent to my ER and get mad when I say "stop peeing on the floor!" And I hate doing all this for $30.75/hr! I have my BSN, and have been an RN for 11+ years. And all I can think of every day I work is: I fucking quit.

Rose Maria said...

I deffinitly want to go into the nursing field, but im not sure which one i should persue. How many years of schooling for both? Salary? Hours? that kind of stuff.
nurse practitioner or crna

Linda Thrall said...

Nurses think they have it rough. What do nurses think first aiders go through. Nurses don't know the streets like the first aid gangs do, the streets are our territory not the nurses their asses belong in the hospital not the streets. The question I ask, how would the nurses feel if a first aid gang took over the hospital and started to make the hospital territory ours? They wouldn't like it now would they? Our message is pretty simple nurses stay the fuck out of our territory and we'll stay out of yours. Got it?

Jessica Turner said...

I have been a CMA urology for 7 years. I am dying over here laughing since you all feel the way I do on a daily basis. And I get treated like royalty compared to our nurses. I honestly will take the pay cut to be treated nicer lol. Although there are still shitty managers and jealous co workers. But I'm mentally drained. We also do the same tasks as the nurses in our department. As well as run a 30 patient load. Sincerely Medical field tired under paid appreciated Cma.

Shy_Guy said...

I'm a student nurse and I was about to start my third year. I took six months out of studying as I had what some may call a bit of a *blip*. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love nursing, to the point where I want to be the best, as a result I weighed myself down with a lot of pressure. I had received high marks in every assessment, and this resulted in feelings of inadequacy when I received anything below 70%. I was coming up to the final assessment of my second year, and I just remember not sleeping or eating for days, all I was doing was revising. Luckily I recognised this and took 6 months out just for some clarity and breathing space.

In retrospect this is exactly what I needed, after a few weeks I began to look at my revision notes and realised I had written 40 pages for a 20 minute simulation. I also realised I have an innate fear of failure.

I think the 6 months I've taken out now will ultimately make me a much better nurse, if anything it's reinforced my love for the profession, whilst also reminding me of the importance of reflecting on experiences.

I know this is probably not relevant here but here's my two pence anyway.

Anonymous said...

I really appreciate the anonymity option. We all get pride and satisfaction in various ways, I went back to driving a truck. I would never trade the elevation of self that came with my BSN. It is a source of great pride. I am A trainer in both General chemical and cryogenic applications, and I'm very fluid and thorough yet basic when needed. Of course I am an older person with grown kids and I am not married. I rent a motorcycle or a car almost every time I have a layover, and I like the road. My environment is comfortable and stress-free, and I've got the greatest picture window a man could ever ask for. The money is not inferior. OK, so you want to know why I'm not nursing. Well, the first thing to land was psych. For five months I worked a state ward with male and female wings. I was called in and told I was fired for a fabricated nonfatal code which supposedly occurred 7 1/2 hours after I was off duty. The DON (ayyyy) anchored his allegation, his insinuation, to a less than thorough documentation of an initial observation by me. Part of me is per se mad, but I am by all means over it. All of you are in my prayers because I saw all of the condescension, backstabbing, non-support, and general lack of class of which you speak conducted my fellow so-called angels of mercy. Good luck to all of you!

Anonymous said...

I also work in dialysis and honestly I'm beginning to get tired of the chronic setting and that is mainly because of the facility administrator and the technicians. I'm hoping to get into home hemodialysis

Anonymous said...

I have been a nurse for 14 years. I have come to hate it. I used to beam with pride anytime someone asked me about my occupation. I could talk for hours about being a nurse and how much I loved it. Not anymore. I feel worn out, used up and completely jaded. I loate getting out of bed in the morning to face another day as a nurse. I just don't know what to do with my life now. I have dedicated so much time to my nursing career, I don't know if I would even know who I was without my RN name badge. I am at a crossroads in my life and career. I know I am in desperate need of a change, but don't know where to start.

Burned out said...

It was probably a NM who said "get out". The more we do with less, the bigger their bonuses!

Burned out said...

There are more opportunities for BSN that aren't bedside,i.e. risk management, research, etc. I'm 57. Wish I could afford the time and money to get more education. I live in a community with a small rural hospital. I'm unable to move. So, I suffer in Med/Surg, running from room to room, making multiple decisions for 12 hours a day that affect people's lives. I'm mentally and physically exhausted. My colleagues are in the same boat. At least I work with other wonderful nurses who are nice to each other and the patients, even the crazy and crazier ones. We are bearing the brunt, mentally and physically.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking about doing the opposite. Curently an RN and in the midst of mid-life career shift and always having been a nerd at heart, have thought about programming as one of my options. I hope you are an rn now and liking it...I hope to go into tech and love it till I retire.

Anonymous said...

I'm interested in doing the opposite, currently an rn thinking of doing programming. I hope to like it till I retire and I hope the same for your career-shift as well!

Anonymous said...

I too can commiserate with those who work in LTC, (and even acute care bedside but this reply pertains for ltc). Been an rn for over a decade. Climbed all levels of ltc except DON/admin. The trigger for me to leave nursing is when after all the hardwork we provide for the patients, their visitors and families complain to various agencies, so then in addition to the stress we have to deal with semi-annually preparing for surveys, we have these all govnt agencies constantly visiting and breathing down our necks telling us we're STILL doing everything wrong...all because a visitor filed a complaint that their momma didn't get the ritz-carlton hotel treatment. Sigh. I said to myself, if cms, dhs, etc (who by the way can also be nurses) are constantly AGAINST us, then it's time to LEAVE the profession. Good luck to you.

Indigostar said...

Nursing is getting worse by the minute. I'm dine going into medical billing and coding and teaching on side. I just can't walk into a facility s picking up in the negative hostile environment created by miserabile backbiting lazy ass petty women understaffing being worked like a dog and not even getting a pension decent pay they want blood from a stone. I can't stand working c a bunch of phony ass backstabbing mainly under qualified overly confident looser cunts. If it weren't for these types of women nursing would be bearable. But abuse is allowed if u have a voice your starved out and these fucking nurse rally bullshi to for understaffing is a fucking joke. Y don't you have marches vs lateral violence nurse in nurse mobbing and supervisors digging head in sand and allowing this dirty little secret of nursing to continue. The pay is shit they no longer pay for experience in Ltc in nj. They work you like a damn dog treat and punish you like a child and get away c not paying your for breaks you have no time to take. Ltc nursing is all about profit bunch of phony nasty body chasers. I became very miserabile sad and hardened I'm done out. I care and live geriatrics I live to teach. But I'm getting my life joy and health back I'm out. 12 year torture chamber. It's like a big unending circle of working with Nast backbiting women who fight and sabotage one another for nothing. It's like mean girls. By nursing world you keep loosing good knes nc you allow lateral violence look the other way nurses are getting ptsd general anxiety and depressuon bc of low morale shit pay ridiculous workloads and cinstantly having to watch your back. Who the hell in their right mind wants to desk c that insanity plus have the ultimate responsibility of being a caregiver. No support shit supplies bipolar control freak management who can be very spiteful. I'm taking my life back. Haystacks vista. Breaking my strongholds changing my life. Learned a lot became a better person. Saw the beauty in both life and death and the existence of Gid. My intuition is so much stronger and I devekoped true empathy. So that was a priceless gift rest complete torture. Done good riddance

Sully Jensen said...

I am someone who started nursing education in my late 30's. I was in my 40's by the time I earned my BSN/RN... worked as an LPN/LVN while working toward the BSN/RN. Have worked at small rural hospitals and mega-university hospitals. I was so tired of administration coming up with ways for nurses to be more efficient in charting and cares, more like minnie mouse at disney world, and more subserviant to the patients (even when it was not in the patient's best interest)... well I got out of hospitals. It took a long time to find a job though because everyone wanted the nurse to have 2-5 years of experience in the new area. How do you get experience when no one will train you or give you a chance?

Finally found a job in research. Will keep at it because I enjoy the overall goals... but also work with a lot of non-nursing managers now who are actually harder to work for than nurse managers who were nurses at one time. Some of them just don't get it... it being what nurses area allowed to do by law, how much decision making we do as bedside nurses, how much nurses know about illness and procedures, and how much we advocate for the patient with providers and families. They ask an almost retired pediatrician who hasn't been in a hospital in 20 years about the procedure and specimens for a paracentesis... how the hell would he know? Why believe a nurse who has assisted with and handled the lab orders and results for specimens in recent history?

It has been an eye opener. All i know is that when I have enough experience on the resume and I will apply for another research job... I will not be taking just any job. Seriously!! They will definitely be interviewed by me as much as me ny them.

Anonymous said...

To look after 38 patients is illegal. The ratio for nurses:patient is 8, depending on the work environment. You need to make management aware of the complexity of the patients and complete datix, incident reporting because if God forbid anything dangerous happened, you will be blamed for not risk assessing etc.

Anonymous said...

Twenty-five years as an RN with primarily ICU/CCU background and experience in ED, SICU, MICU, CVICU, PEDS ED, NSICU, AND ALL INTERMEDIATE AND MED/ SURG floors. I have been told I am not going to have a job if I don't return to school. Well I am thinking this may be the answer to my finding a new career that values commitment, loyalty, dedication, and accepts me for the professional I am and chooses to value respect more than the one cent raise I got last year and the 750$ bonus that saw less than half in my paycheck. I am thankful for the patients who have helped me to learn the most valuable lessons in life. I am so sorry for those who choose this career for the "job security". The fact is the workload continues to grow as well as the mistakes. If you make one, most likely it may prove to be a matter of life and death. Where do you go from there? Everyone can not be a nurse. BSN numbers rise, but what about quality? I am not impressed. There used to be core values for nurses, such as empathy, compassion, caring, trust, and professionalism. The new core values appear to be "me","I", "entitled". I don't claim to be better, but I know the job I do has a lifelong impact on your mother,father,sister,brother,cousin, grandma, grandpa, etc. I take the title RN SERIOUSLY, and proud of every action I have ever taken, except leaving it when it began to decline, not to many years ago. So I ask what does this nurse do other than teach or enter management of a profession that is losing respect, arguably deserved? The profession will soon be outsourced to fight unionization, as conditions continue to erode the profession once trusted most in the country. Remember with age comes wisdom.

Anonymous said...

You should maybe look into nursing informatics! You can help build the charting systems. Sometimes it doesn't even need extra training, and they love a nursing point of view. And it's good money!