Friday, August 21, 2009

Eternal Questions: Friday at 4:30 a.m. edition:

1. Why is it so hard to plug in equipment with batteries that have to recharge? Is there some anti-plug-in gene that only I am missing? It's frustrating to have every. single. pump. start screaming "LOW BATT" the minute you turn your back.

2. What the heck are they using now to mop the floors? Superglue? 'Cause that's what it feels like.

3. Why does my sweet curly lamb of a resident insist on writing floor orders on preprinted critical care order sheets? It doesn't work like that, dear. For the fifth time.

4. How is it that a hospital can make such uniformly bad vegetables? Is there a special pre-over-cooked form of veggies that are only available to large institutions?

5. Why are there six boxes of gloves in this room, but none of them are my size?

6. How many family members does it take to see one person off to surgery? My record so far is 35, all in one small room. It was...humid. And crowded.

7. Do I have a sign over my head that says "Crazies: Talk to Me! I Like It!"?

8. Where do all these college students keep getting all this Adderall? And Ritalin? And Abilify?

9. Why do I have so many pockets and so little memory?

10. Why do my patients keep bringing up health care reform to me? I don't talk politics to patients, and you won't like what I have to say anyhow.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Abilify/some kind of stimulant is the new hotness that the psych's are handing out for lazy, demotivated college kids. The abilify keeps them on an even keel and the adderall cuts the abilify haze and helps them get out of bed in the morning.

Jo said...

Anon, I know that, but what I wonder is this: Adderall, Abilify, and the like are the hottest new illicit drugs for those kids (get offa my lawn!). Are there *that* many people on enough Abilify that they can sell the extras?

Girl Noir said...

That's odd. I wouldn't have pegged Abilify for something to be handed out willy-nilly; it has some nasty potential side-effects that can be permanent. I'm on a very low dose, as an augmentative to my antidepressant. I really can't imagine what on earth they would be using it for. Not to mention, I'm on a 2mg dose... that by itself isn't going to do much for anybody! I wonder where they're getting the stuff to sell, because the antidepressant doses are around 2-4 mg. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm as confused as Jo.

Carolyn said...

Did your sweet curly lamb of a resident forget to take his Adderall?

Anonymous said...

Well, be sure that the batteries are installed with the correct polarity.

Remember:

A botched watt never toils!

Seriously though, depending on type, some rechargeable batteries need to be recharged on a schedule - nickel-hydride types go flat after about a month of non-use and need to be recharged even if they have not been used.

If they are left in a discharged state for a long period, it is hard to get them to take a full charge -

See: http://www.thomasdistributing.com/maha-mh-c9000-battery-charger.php for a charger that reconditions neglected batteries.

EugeneInSanDiego

Jo said...

Carolyn: SNORK!

Moose said...

re: vegetables - once upon a time I was a resident of a hospital that did meals on demand. I had, among other fun things, neutropenia, and when I ordered a stir fry they warned me that the vegetables were going to be cooked to death.

For some reason I lucked out. While the veggies were thoroughly cooked they were still non-soggy and delicious. The damn tray smelled so good every employee on or who came to the floor was sticking their head in to demand what smelled so good, followed by, "that came out of OUR cafeteria?!?!'

A few days later I ordered the stir fry again. I got glop.

Suzie said...

*sigh*

you should work in VETERINARY ER...want to talk about the crazies coming out of the closet? When their matted, heart failure, heartworm, flea infested, one-eyed, tongue sticking out of one side, biting, Shih Tzu is ready to go to the light at 2am....I've seen whole TRIBES of crazies packed in one tiny exam room and they want you to do "Anything possible to save little Toto...Money is no object"...except of course they have just spent all but $50 bucks (which is not enough to even cover the exam) on Meth down the street...

Oh...crap. I'm going to shut up now and go start my own blog.

Just kidding.