2. What the heck are they using now to mop the floors? Superglue? 'Cause that's what it feels like.
3. Why does my sweet curly lamb of a resident insist on writing floor orders on preprinted critical care order sheets? It doesn't work like that, dear. For the fifth time.
4. How is it that a hospital can make such uniformly bad vegetables? Is there a special pre-over-cooked form of veggies that are only available to large institutions?
5. Why are there six boxes of gloves in this room, but none of them are my size?
6. How many family members does it take to see one person off to surgery? My record so far is 35, all in one small room. It was...humid. And crowded.
7. Do I have a sign over my head that says "Crazies: Talk to Me! I Like It!"?
8. Where do all these college students keep getting all this Adderall? And Ritalin? And Abilify?
9. Why do I have so many pockets and so little memory?
10. Why do my patients keep bringing up health care reform to me? I don't talk politics to patients, and you won't like what I have to say anyhow.