Saturday, August 09, 2008

Jolly Green Gumball.

A tip for those of you who bought a swimsuit prior to starting weightlifting:

It won't fit any more.

Several years ago, prior to meeting Atilla The Cheerleader, I bought a swimsuit. It's green, with a square neck. It fit three years ago and looked okay, actually.

Then I got lats. And shoulders. And pectoral muscles. And my legs went all square and muscle-y, and I got biceps. The belly's still there, but I look more fit.

And the swimsuit? Holy lord, it *so* does not fit any more.

Square-neck suit + big lats + impressive shoulders + pecs that are things of beauty = Jolly Green Gumball.

I have ordered a plain black V-neck from Land's End. Humph.

4 comments:

Penny said...

SCREW MADISON AVENUE.

You're strong and healthy. You're beautiful.

You are.

Jo said...

Pens, we've already talked about this, but the primary problem (I want to make clear to everybody else) is not the body; it's the suit. Most swimsuits, this one included, are not cut for Women of Muscle.

Remember that clip from "Let's Make A Deal", where the woman wearing the tube top gets so excited that she hops up and down and the top falls down, exposing her breasts to Bob Barker and everybody? This swimsuit is like that.

Women's swimsuits are made so that there's equal fabric on the top and butt, or a little more on the butt. Put a woman with a chest and back into a typical swimsuit, and you get baggy waist, baggy butt, and looming chestal disaster.

Laura said...

Have you tried the competitive swim-style suits (i.e. Speedo, TYR, Nike, etc)? They're cut so that they don't go anywhere, pretty much regardless of what shape you are. Plus they're made to accommodate Women of Muscle (since swim chicks are RIPPED).

Jo said...

Laura, I *lived* in Speedo tank suits every summer for years. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any on sale, so I went with the closest thing I could manage that cost only $24.