So I went to pick up The Cat at the vet today.
The receptionist looked at me when I came in and said, "I'm here to ransom my cat" and replied, "The man-eating tortie with the bad attitude? I'll have our vet tech go get her."
The tech wouldn't touch her. Nobody would. I was about to go in there myself and haul her out of her boarding kennel when the guy who gets picked for the awful jobs volunteered, bless him.
My cat has the only chart at the office with a huge CAUTION sticker on it.
*sigh* My cat is Gregory House in a fur coat.
What I cook on my day off:
In other news, I've come across a close approximation of Buca di Beppo's canellini beans and arugula. Herewith:
1 can of canellini beans
about a half cup of petite-dice tomatoes and juice
five or six nice-sized cloves of garlic, chopped
a teaspoon or so of oregano
salt to taste
Dump all of that into a saucepan and let it simmer until the flavors blend and the beans get good and soft. It should be more stewy than liquidy.
A couple of big handfuls of baby spinach, whole, or a couple of big handfuls of arugula, chopped up.
Simmer (barely) until the greens are soft and wilted. This will not take very long at all.
This makes enough for two generous side dishes or one serving for a real beans-and-greens nut.
Bissell Quick Steamer Powerbrush
This is a miniature upright carpet shampooer, not really a steamer, that you can get at Lowe's for 84 bucks. You fill the back chamber with hot water and a cleaning solution, then turn the thing on and press the trigger. It sprays automatically, scrubs your carpet, and then suctions up the dirty (oooicky) water.
This damn thing works like a *champ*. The only drawback is with the dirty water collector: not only do you have to empty it three times for every full tank of cleaning solution, but it has some weird vent/opening arrangement that means you'll spill water all over the carpet if you're not paying attention. Other than that minor quibble, I am in love with this machine.
It's good for spaces 8'x8' or thereabouts. Since I don't have too much contiguous space in my wee apartment, it works fine. It even raised the trodden-down pile in the living room. You'll still have to pretreat things like cat pee stains, but on ordinary ucky tracked-in greasy yuck dirt it works great. And the carpet will dry in an hour or two if you turn on the ceiling fan.
Judgement: If you have crappy carpets, this is the widget you need.
L'oreal Volume Shocking Mascara
I have six skinny eyelashes. This product made me have two skinny eyelashes, like a Muppet. Furthermore, the eyelashes were bizarrely Tammy-Faye-esque in their clumpiness.
See, this mascara *ought* to work. There's a comb applicator on the color side (it's one of those two-sided deals with a colorless foundation prep), which is the greatest way ever to apply mascara. Unfortunately, they've done something funky to the comb so it's not actually a comb, per se; it's more a toothy V-shaped thingamajig that deposits approximately ten pounds of goop on each of your six skinny lashes, then sticks them together.
What a disappointment, especially for twelve fucking dollars. If you have six skinny lashes, stick with Maybelline Full & Soft.
Judgement: Run away, run away.
American Airlines Snack Box
In case you haven't noticed, there is no longer meal service on most domestic airline flights. Instead, for three bucks, American (and I assume other carriers) will sell you a "snack box" full of processed food that will presumably keep you from chewing off your seatmate's arm out of hunger or boredom.
We were offered the same snack box on two flights (same menu, I mean). The first flight, Chef Boy and I were curious and so got a couple. The second flight we smuggled on McDonald's and a flask of bourbon.
The snack box contains one chocolate biscotti, semi-stale; one one-ounce hunk of unidentifiable processed cheese in foil, two "water crackers", one pack of yogurt-covered raisins, and a breakfast bar from some manufacturer I don't remember.
I skipped the raisins and the breakfast bar. The cheese was...well, I'm sure I've run into something like it before; you could probably use it to close up holes in peoples' skulls. The water crackers, thank God, they didn't manage to mess up. The biscotti was semi-stale.
Judgement: Avoid. Get a bagel or something and carry it on.
I'm going to go eat an entire pan of greens & beans now.