Saturday, October 22, 2005

A brilliant scheme.

Four patients with perfusion problems.

All of them screamers.

One is schizophrenic, with a history of drug and alcohol abuse, as well as bipolar disorder type whatever, the sort that makes one an ultra-fast cycler.

The second has hallucinations, both visual and auditory, because the main arteries leading to her brain are mostly occluded.

The third simply screams in frustration at odd times, due to a combination of drug and alcohol abuse, occluded arteries, uncontrolled diabetes and cholesterol, and previous strokes.

Finally, one patient yells out his door at everyone passing by.

It sounds like this:

"Goddammit! Goddammit! Hey, gorgeous! Hey, gorgeous!"

"Stop the bus! Stop the bus! Stop the bus! Stop the bus!"


"Hey! Hey! HeyheyHeyhey HEY!!"

So I had this thought the other day as I was sitting at the desk, listening to the cacophony for the twenty-sixth hour in a row:

Why not start up a punk band?

I mean, I have the hair. In civvies, I have the clothes. Add some good fuzzy guitar and a cranked-out drummer, and mix in "Hey gorgeous! Goddammit! Stop the bus! HEY!! AAAaaaaaAAAARGH!"

We could call it Nurse Jo and the Screaming Feebs.


shrimplate said...

Hey, you just never know.

I read a story years ago about the 1st time Siouxie and the Banshees gigged. It was a talent show kind of thing, and Sid Vicious was their drummer. They bashed away at "God Save the Queen" for 10 minutes, their goal being to get kicked off the stage.

But they were a big hit, and the rest is punk history.

nuggins said...

The Goddammit-Gorgeous Guy sounds remarkably like my grandmother's deceased cockatoo. Please say his name is not Ralph.