I need reassurance that what I did was the right thing to do.
It took me over five hours to get home last night from work. What would normally be a 45-minute commute turned into a hell of gridlock thanks to highway construction, people running out of gas, and some genius who miscalculated both the speed of the cement truck next to him and how fast the highway would run out.
Suffice it to say that for five hours I was stuck on a highway in a spot without exits or turnarounds for fifteen miles.
I got home after midnight and called in to work for today. Normally I'd attempt a day on four hours' sleep, with a few naps, but that's not an option at La Schwankola Hospital. You can't nap when you have lumbar drains open.
The Guilt Chip that was installed in my head midway through school is firing full-strength. It's not that we're short-staffed--we've got plenty of people to cover--or that I doubt that I wouldn't be safe, showing up way underslept.
It's that I feel like I ought to be SuperNurse, able to work with *no* sleep (which is better than short sleep), even though I'm sick, even if I've got a broken leg.
My practice would be unsafe were I at work today. That's a given. So I called in. Please, somebody, reassure me that nurses working short of sleep is just as bad as doctors doing it. Reassure me that if I have the choice not to practice if I'll be dangerous, the right thing is to make that choice.
Back to bed.