No, this is--for once--not about management.
It's about those damned catalogs. You know the ones I mean: they sell cute, springy, witty scrubs and adorable dingle-dangles from which to hang your name tag, and lanyards with the Cause Du Jour printed on them, and so on.
Let me tell you what I do not need. I do not need microfiber scrubs with the look and feel of silk, especially not when they're leopard-print or tiger-striped. Unless there's some branch of nursing that involves no contact whatsoever with bodily fluids, and in which tacky is a good thing, *nobody* needs those.
I do not need genuine gemstone pins that remind me to allow miracles, keep hope alive, live strong, that I'm "special" (yeah, short-bus speshul), that we're all supporting a cure, or that I've parked my car on the third level in section C. Actually, come to think of it, that last might be useful.
I do not need cute plush animals to hang from my stethoscope and hold my name badge. That's just a bad idea all 'round.
I do not need totebags that tell others that I heart nursing, that nurses rock, that nursing is my bag, or that nurses care. I don't, we do occasionally, it's not, and we frankly could, but less.
I do not need shoes that have "just a little bit" of heel. Especially not when they're clog-style with a backstrap. I am here to keep my patients alive, not look fashionable and catch a doctor. Or look fashionable and turn an ankle, which is much more likely to happen.
Needless to say, I do not need anything with kittens or puppies on it. Take it away.
Nor do I need hipster, flare-leg, or capri (!!!)-cut scrub pants.
I don't need a "genuine acrylic" (huh?) stethoscope with a magnified smiley-face under the head. I don't get how those things are supposed to work. They'd make good weapons.
Dora the Explorer, Sponge Bob, and Scooby scrubs are not for me. I understand that those in Pediatrics might find a use for 'em, but is the ratio of Peds nurses so large that we really need four pages of the damned things?
Nor are seasonally-themed prints. Again, some folks like 'em. I'll keep my sushi-print tops, thanks.
I'll tell you what I *DO* need, kiddies: Decent shoes that don't cost $200 a pop and actually fit my crippled, bunioned Size Nines. Scrubs that I can wash on boil and dry on broil without having the elastic shrink on the pants so that I'm cut in half. I need jackets without knit cuffs--ones that end just at the hip and swing freely, so that they look a bit more like a blazer and less like a lump of dough. I need another stethoscope and a fifty-percent discount on the Hickey neuroscience text.
And a massage and a pedicure and maybe a personal trainer. If you can find me a nursing catalog that offers those, I'm in.