IT LIVES!

The first night was weird. My brain and my body disagreed vehemently on what time it was, and I felt very odd all night.

The second night was torture. I didn't know it was possible to feel that bad physically and still be vertical and productive.

Last night was...not so bad, actually.

I might just be able to do this working nights thing for a little while. I'll never be a natural night person, as my body-clock says "Wake up at 0400; go to bed at 2100", but I think I can, I think I can, at least until somebody goes on maternity leave, or something.

The possibility of having to work nights during the summer leaves me cold with fear. How anybody could ever work nights in a state with the hottest and brightest sunshine I have ever seen is beyond me. But for January, February, and probably a little of March, when it's rainy and cloudy most of the time anyhow? Count me in. I can doooo eeeeet!

Nights are weird, people. In a hospital, you're insulated from the rhythms of the outside world anyhow, but at night, it's even more pronounced. The morning rush starts at 0130 down at Big Brother Bruce's Bargain Brain Barn, with CT scans and MRI and morning labs and what-have-you. That means that the first hour of the shift is busy, the middle of the night is most definitely not, and the last six hours of the night vary from steady to downright insane. That's the opposite of how it works during day shifts in the Sunnydale CCU, and that's been the hardest thing to get used to.

Night people are weird, too. There's a certain breed of person who's meant to stay up all night and sleep all day. They don't do well on days (can you imagine? I can't) but are cheerful and helpful and ready for pizza at two ack emma. And they're all a little off. Intelligent, pleasant, good company....but a little weird. They don't see anything odd about listening to Morning Edition when they're on the way home from work, or buying beer at 0700. (That was my greatest discovery: at the end of my second night, when all I wanted was a beer and my bed, I discovered that you can buy beer here before sunrise on weekdays. Alors!)

The trick is going to be sticking on this schedule when I'm not working. Attila is coming over this evening, after which I plan to take myself out for a celebratory dinner. Tonight I'll sleep; tomorrow, I'll take a nap in the afternoon and stay up all night (thank God for 24-hour grocery stores), and Sunday I'll sleep all day. I work again Sunday night.

Oh--did you know (again, a revelation to me!) that there are BARS that open at SIX A.M. and serve BREAKFAST and have HAPPY HOUR?? I mean, I'd read about that in books, mostly books set in London near the docks, at the turn of the century, but I had no idea that the Green Door or Louie's served eggs-your-way and a vodka martini at eight in the morning. Monday morning, since Sunday is a one-off, I'm going to hit Bigtown's most venerable lesbian bar, which serves a breakfast buffet on weekday mornings, then go trolling salvage shops for 1/2" knobs for my desk.

It's like a vacation in a foreign country, but I'm getting paid. Very, very weird.

My plans for tomorrow night:

How Jo Plans To Stay Awake During Her First-Ever Night Shift; or, Disaster Comes On Little Cat Feet

1. Nerves. I figure nerves will carry me from 1900 until about 2200.

2. Coffee. I can drink a cup of coffee at 2230 and stay awake until well after 0200, at which point there are...

3. CT scans and MRIs to haul patients down for.

4. And when I get back from those, there are baths to do.

If all of the above fail, then....

1. Food. I've been warned by a number of people not to forget to eat while I'm on nights; apparently, this is a big problem for some folks. Not sure Mama's gonna have a problem with that, but I'm taking an omelette and a salad with me anyhow. (Actually, that sounds pretty good right now, too.)

2. Sports. Everybody on night shift is on some sort of fantasy football team. Even though I don't watch sports or follow them at all (except for Olympic curling, which I love because it's just so weird), their chatter will keep me awake.

Which brings me to the fact that our CCU is essentially oval. On the back wall is a single automatic-open door leading to the back hallway, which has things like the dialysis rooms and outpatient lab collection and the lab and so on on it. The front side of the oval, as it were, is the CCU. With an oval floor layout, you can have....

3. Curling. Steal a whisk broom and a push broom from Housekeeping, snag the tea kettle from the break room, and put some tape lines on the floor. Presto: your own indoor, ice-free curling arena! And if that's too north-of-the-border for my colleagues, an oval layout also lends itself to....

4. Roller Derby. This might be the opportunity I've been waiting for all my life. I'd make one hell of a blocker and might even work as a pivot, you know? Plus, I have a name all picked out: Miss Ann Dree. Get it? It might be a little work to get Steve, the six-foot-five ex-Ranger to play on a mostly-girls' team, but I think we could make it work. If all else fails, we could have two sides of three each and he could referee.

5. Boys! And girls! The nurses at night play "Which resident is least loathsome?" (answer: Not Dr. Dweebo) and "Which movie star makes you want to stab your eyes out the least?" Most of the day-shift CCU nurses are gay; most of the night-shift CCU nurses are straight. Do not ask me why this is, and don't ask if it's a common thing; I don't know. Anyway, going from one to the other should give me plenty of thought-provoking answers.

6. FORKS IN A DISPOSAL!! This is the favorite game of the nurses on days. Whenever things get too rough, too tough, too stressful, or too emotionally-charged, we all go into the back and do a quick run of Forks In A Disposal. Essentially, you hop up and down with your hands in the air, yelling "Tink-a-tink-a-tink-a-tink-a!" and going in circles until everybody falls down laughing. I look forward to introducing this concept to nights.

7. Tooth-Whitening and Cuticle Care. I once asked Friend James how his night was, and he replied, "Oh, great. I got to do my tooth strips and a manicure, see?"

8. Boomshine, Bubble Blaster, and Bejeweled. 'Nuff said.

9. Facebook. I mean, what was Facebook invented for, if not long night shifts when both of your patients are on floor orders and everybody else is intubated, including your coworkers?

10. ...aaaaand here is where I run out of ideas.

I'm really kind of nervous. I mean, on the one hand, it'll be nice to get to nap frequently and well tomorrow, with the excuse that I'll have to be up all night tomorrow night, but on the other...working nights is a different feel, a different schedule and rhythm. I'm not sure that my natural hyperactivity will work well with night shift.

I've never been happier than this past week at work, when I felt like a barely-adequate skiier confronted by a double-black-diamond slalom. I had everything just barely under control--with a whole, whole lot of help when the shit hit the fan--and was loving every second of it. Long stretches of not a lot to do is the primary reason I left the floor for the CCU.

Oh, well. Attila's been kind enough to give me a list of easy-to-do, no-equipment-necessary exercises that are guaranteed to wake me up and make me a laughingstock, so maybe I'll just do those in the middle of the night. Hell, maybe I'll haul in my twenty-pound bells so I can do oblique crunches and lower-back exercises at 1 am.

Wish me luck, Fearless Readers. I think I'll be needing it.