1. Pick up after yourself.
2. Don't be an asshole.
3. Say "thank you."
On Work:
1. If you have to jack with it, it's wrong.
2. Every surface should be thought of as dirty until proven otherwise.
3. Have an extra pair of scrubs.
4. Always take extra supplies into the room with you.
5. Wear shoes you won't fall out of.
On Drinking and Eating:
1. If the ingredients list has words beginning with "para" or "quasi", don't eat it.
2. Cheese always helps.
3. Good bread is worth the money.
4. It's not worth getting drunk on fine wine; you won't remember how good it is, and your head will hurt just as much as with the cheap stuff.
5. Eat butter, not margarine or Promise.
On Partying:
1. If you drink, pace yourself.
2. Don't say it drunk if you wouldn't say it sober.
3. Remember: If you start something, *somebody* is going to have to finish it. It might not be you.
4. Always have an alternate plan in case your designated driver craps out on you.
5. No, that's not a good idea.
On Relationships:
1. Pick up after yourself.
2. Don't be an asshole.
3. Say "thank you."
