Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Things that irritate me, part seventy gazillion and thirty-eight

If you're an instructor teaching nurses, please remember that we do "see one/do one/teach one." All you have to do is tell us what we need to know, once, and move on. Your (endless fucking horrible irritating) anecdotes (that attempt to cast you in a good light but instead make you look like the arrogant asshole you are) are not necessary. 

Running out of booze.

Patients who are reasonable, normal people while you're in the room, but turn into manipulative weirdos the minute you leave. The trouble with calling people like that on their behavior is that it's never satisfying.

Staying late in class because of anecdotes.

People who put on lots of light-colored eyeshadow or powder and either don't wear mascara or don't knock the powder off their eyelashes after they're done applying. Your mascara habits are your business, doll: I prefer mine as long as the list of people I hate and as black as my heart, but you do you. Just make sure you don't look like you've got eyelash dandruff from hell, okay?

Mushy broccoli. (This is one thing our cafeteria actually does well. I eat a ton of broccoli.)

Men--and they are always men--who ascribe political motives to the fact that I wear my hair in a buzzcut. Dude, if I were looking to be less attractive to men (and women, and mutant kangaroos), I would be wearing some other style, because this buzz brings all the boys to my yard. I wear it like this because it's easy, I can do it myself, and it looks sharp.

Tripping over the cat, when it's the cat's fault, and hearing that awful noise he makes. I have one who's especially bad about running under my feet.

Bigots.

Nail polish that looks hot in the bottle but ends up being some wimpy color on your nails.

Glitter everywhere.

Not getting my eyebrows on even.

Undercooked carrots.

Stockings, socks, or pantyhose that shift weirdly and cut off circulation at odd times.

Missing phone calls.

No fucking toilet paper why can't you assholes put a new roll in what is wrong with you WERE YOU RAISED BY WOLVES??

Lists of what annoys a person.




 

7 comments:

Jacqueline Bennetts said...

So now I get to imagine you as Tank Girl Nurse, I'm stoked!

Comradde PhysioProffe said...

My MIL is the most loving, kind, and wise person I know. But she loves fucken glitter at Christmas time. I am fucken flicking that shitte off myself until fucken March every year.

Logan said...

I hate seeing nurses with long hair flapping all over the place. It never annoyed me until I worked military hospitals and women kept their hair tight in buns. I cringe now when I see a female coworker leaning over a patient and her stringy hair in all in the bed.

Also, HATE cartoon or frilly scrubs worn in an adult nursing unit. They should be banned along with the simpletons who wear them.

RehabRN said...

I love it when people try to pin political sh#t on you at work.

MYOB was something Momma taught me, and so I nicely tell them I am not allowed to discuss politics at work.

And the socks, stockings...I call them strangulation devices, because that's what they are.

The TP one...could very well be justifcation for so many things, but I don't think my attorney would actually try. Oh well.

Laura said...

Glitter: herpes of the craft world.

Crystal Lynn said...

Sign in the bathroom: replacing the toilet paper roll does not cause brain damage.

C said...

I have little old ladies passively tell me they miss the days where we wore white dresses and caps, and stockings, CONSTANTLY. Don't mess with me jammies and Nikes kay?