(What? You've never heard of the Birthday Frog? The Birthday Frog is like the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus, but he brings birthday presents. Get with it.)
I would like, please, for my birthday this year... ... ...
Twenty-five three-year asparagus crowns, variety Jersey Knight
Twenty-five strawberry plants, variety Eversweet Everbearing (heat- and drought-tolerant!)
Two fifty-foot rolls of 48" chicken wire and five-foot fenceposts to keep Max out of the garden
Wire ties for the above
Gift cards to Gurney's and Burpee
A broadfork (Gempler's has a good one)
Three four-cubic foot bags of vermiculite
The use of a cruddy pickup truck so I can haul some compost from the dump
A twenty-five-foot roll of two-foot-wide professional grade weedblocking cloth
A gift certificate to Home Despot so I can build some trellises (trelli? Trellae?) for cucumbers and beans and squashes and so on
A new set of biceps.
Thank you very kindly,
Jo, who has been drinking the Gardening Kool-Aid
You forgot to ask for one sexy landscaper to do all the work while you gaze upon his biceps and peeks adoringly......
ReplyDeleteI love this. Nobody plants a garden if they think they're gonna die anytime soon. :o))))) Very, very glad your story's having this happy next chapter.
ReplyDeleteNow I want a garden as well. And a sexy landscaper.
ReplyDeleteI have been wanting to grow a garden for a few years now but every time I get pumped up to do it I get lost on how to start.
ReplyDeleteHow did you get started?
Go for it all, and enjoy it for me. I tend to kill plants, no matter how drought and heat resistant.
ReplyDeleteYum. Can I come help you eat asparagus and strawberries??
ReplyDeleteI live in an apartment. I'll have to settle for maybe one of those upside down hanging tomato plant things that are sold by the same company as the Sham-Wow and Chia Pet. But a girl can live vicariously through someone else's garden, right???
ReplyDeleteDo you have squirrels? 'Cause if you do you can forget about the strawberries. Not trying to be a naysayer, but one of my partners who is an avid gardener gave up on strawberries for that reason.
ReplyDelete