Mama's got a brand-new bag...of troubles.

It's astonishing how appropriate this is, and on how many levels.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and thank God 2010 is nearly here. I had hoped 2009 would be a non-sucky year, and for the first half, it was. The last few weeks, though, have really amped up the suckage, to such a degree that I find myself panting for an artificially-imposed break from the past.

Trouble the First: Turns out that I am hypertensive as heck (Stage I), probably sodium-reactive. I've been following my blood pressure lately with a nice little sphygmomuh-nuh-muh-nuh (doo doo dee doo doo) and lo and behold, my systolic has been hovering around 150, my diastolic in the low 90's. This Is Not Good, especially since back in the spring, I was a nice, boring 110/68.

Guess what? A lot of the foods that are low-points on the Weight Watchers plan, like Boca Burgers, are hugely high in sodium. I made a point the last few days of not eating any salt to speak of, and my pressures have already dropped into the 130's. Which means, of course, that I'm cleaning out fridge, freezer, and pantry. *sigh* No more gruyere potato gratin for me; instead, it'll be sweet potatoes (high in potassium!) done a dozen interesting ways.

Trouble the Second: I'm slated to work with two of the bigger assholes I've met in my nursing career, and that's saying a lot. Both of 'em are blowhards, both of 'em profess to expertise which they have not, and both of 'em work nights. With any luck, I'll get on to days before I have to deal with them in more unpleasant ways than their sticking their beaks in where they don't belong.

Example: Preceptor the First allowed me to take report alone the last couple of weeks of my internship, and this bothered one of the Blowhards no end. At one point, he corned me and asked me repeatedly if I thought it was a good idea that an inexperienced CCU nurse be allowed to take report alone, as it sure wasn't okay with him. It took me saying three times, with increasing force, "It's okay with the manager, it's okay with the educators, and it's okay with my preceptor." Finally, I finished up with "If you have a problem with this, despite it being okay with all of your superiors, perhaps you should speak to the DON."

Example: I had taken care of a patient with one of those walk/talk/die frontal subdural hematomas you hear so much about all day, upping his meds as necessary when it became clear he was going into DTs (with a BAC of 0.09, no less). The oncoming nurse for the shift didn't like that I had held things like Librium and Ativan when he'd become sedated to the point that I couldn't assess his neuro status, and proceeded to yell at me on the floor about it.

I looked grave, told her that I was not as experienced with detox nursing as I was with neuro, thanked her for her advice, and asked her further questions about what *she* would've done in the situation. That led a coworker to remark, "You rolled over and showed her your belly." I shot back, "What you don't know is that I've got a poison spur midway between my navel and my neck." If she does it again, we're going, right then and there, to the manager's office, because it's obvious she has a problem with me that needs third-party mediation.

I've learned that the easiest way to make a bully back off is to call them on it, then make them answer to a higher-up for their bullying, *right then*. I meet passive-aggressive and aggressive-aggressive with a hard slap across the muzzle and a sharp yank on the chain.

Trouble the Third: The last half of this year has been notable for its lack of logic. Not just *my* lack of logic, but the entire fucking Universe's lack of logic. Honestly? If the nursing journals I read suddenly started writing articles in the style of ee cummings, I would not be surprised.

jothenurse

lived in a pretty how town

(with up

so many

floating

brains

down)

Okay, enough of that. Suffice to say that people have been stupid this year. They've been driving like morons, making bad decisions that affect *me* (which simply is not done), and generally pissing me off. My biggest resolution--actually, my only "resolution"--this year is therefore to either not get annoyed with idiots, or to purge them systematically from my surroundings.

Which is why I'll be painting the Honda a nice blush pink and adding a gun turret.

I'll catch you guys on the flip sometime during the first week of the new year. Kiss the old year goodbye, and stay safe during your revelries!