I remember school being hard. I remember being stressed a lot, and getting through on a combination of adrenaline and coffee, and weighing something like seventy pounds less than I do right now at the end of it, and not having any muscle mass and looking and feeling like a concentration camp victim, patchy baldness and all. I remember being so mentally exhausted that I didn't want to read anything, even the simplest bad science fiction. I remember being so emotionally spent that I couldn't go to the last two days of a very expensive NCLEX review course.
But I do not remember being this damn tired. And it's only been one week. The hard stuff hasn't even started yet.
Part of this is probably that I've been getting up early every day and staying up, with no opportunity for the naps which I've become accustomed to. Part of it, I'm sure, is the endless driving back and forth, back and forth. Part of it is sheer frustration with how slowly some things move and how much paperwork there is.
But Jeebus Grits. Internship was hard when I was 32. I've a feeling it'll be impossible seven years later.
I cannot IMAGINE starting nursing school at nearly- or past forty. Yet I had classmates then, and have co-interns now, who were in their fifties and doing fine. Is there some reserve of stamina I'm missing? Is there a Delicate Flower chip, and did Mom and Dad saddle me with two?
So: All you nursing students out there, especially the ones of you that are past, say, fifteen years old? You rock. Those of you over forty rock double. Those of you over *fifty* deserve both a medal and a mountaintop retreat at the end of things.
I'm going to go lift heavy things now and then fall over into bed. If I get a shower in before bed, it'll be because I'm feeling almost human.
It does sound like you are feeling better about the whole thing even if it is kicking your butt.
ReplyDeleteKeep it up. And I did make the chili at 2 in the morning. I made so much, in fact that I brought it to work and fed them all. It was so good. Thanks.
Half the time I eat frozen dinners because i dont have the energy to cook :-p
ReplyDeleteI dont know HOW i'm going to survive 12 hour shifts!
I'm terribly impressed that you'll have done TWO specialties!
Why thank you, ma'am. I was SECOND oldest in my class of 2007, at 56. The youngest was the same age as my daughter, 24 at graduation.
ReplyDeleteYou CAN do this ~ honest you can!!!
ReplyDeleteas an old Nurse (psych ans spinal injury nurse)....
ReplyDeleteI have enjoyed your blog.....
the only way of enduring nursing is to work PARTTIME....
Yeah, "delicate flower" is exactly how I'd describe you.
ReplyDelete(I'm sure after an adjustment period you'll be kicking ass. You probably already are).
But holy cow, I don't know how any of you nurses do such a demanding job. I'd last about a half hour out there before I'd be racing for the exits.
I'm a 47y/o nursing student, and with my husband and 2 kid used to me running the show and making the wheels turn smoothly at home, it's pretty exhausting. Can't think about it too much, or I would have a purple-headed, hissy fit breakdown some days. Gotta constantly keep moving forward...kinda like a shark. Good luck to you. You're the kind of nurse I want to be.
ReplyDeleteI think you're extra-tired 'cause you put so much of yourself into it...which is an awesome thing; soooo many people will benefit from your level of commitment.
ReplyDeleteAnd, of course, you's old. :D
I'm old, too -- 39. But am finding that the more I do, the more I feel like I can do! Sure, I'm tired. Helps to do what you love, though, I think. When I back off of challenging myself, I feel better-rested but less fundamentally happy.
I am not worthy to be on the same planet as John S.
ReplyDelete