What I do on my day off.

I woke up this morning, detached two cats from my chest, and swung my feet over the edge of the bed.

My feet landed on a combination of wood screws, rubber bands, the plastic pull-tabs from milk cartons, and twist-ties that the cats had brought, like inanimate sacrifices, and laid at the edge of the bed during the night. Max was unhappy; the constant close proximity of Dreadful CATS had made him nervous, so he'd slept in the living room. After putting my feet on all of that, I kind of wish I'd slept in the living room, too.

I do not know why my dog doesn't recognize the kittens he loved to nom as the cats who now inhabit the house. All I know is that they make him very nervous indeed.

I wandered into the kitchen, fixed two drawers and a shelf, and then decided to bolt the top two tiers of a stackable bookcase to the wall in the living room. Surprisingly, all of that went off without injury or inconvenience.

Then I did some laundry.

Then I made what's about the best omelette in the history of ever:

Jo's Four-Egg, Use-Yer-Leftovers Omelette

Slice:

Five mini-portabello mushrooms (Or the usual button type; I just had the mini-bellas lying around)

A thumb-sized hunk of yellow onion

And sear in a nonstick frying pan without added fat. When the 'shrooms have got brown edges to them, remove from the pan and put in:

A handful of mixed shredded cooked chicken and ham (or whatever chopped meat you have. Taco meat or shredded pork chop would be acceptable, bacon would be fantastic; I'd have to draw the line at barbecue or roast beef.)

Some cayenne pepper

A small handful of chopped up zucchini (Or some other soft-ish veggie. Artichoke hearts would be good here)

And cook until the zucchini gets soft and most of the liquid has evaporated.

Remove the food from the pan, scrape it out, and spray with oil. Beat four eggs with a little water, and dump them into the pan.

Let the eggs sit in the pan, over medium heat, until they're mostly solid. If you can't leave food alone (I can't), you can pry up the edge of the set eggs and allow some of the unset eggs to run underneath.

When the eggs are mostly solid, add a little cheese. I like Muenster for this.

Then dump in the vegetables and meat. Allow the whole shebang to sit for a little longer, call it five minutes. By this time, the eggs should be smelling done and have bubbles in them.

Using a spatula and a rubber scraper, carefully fold or roll the omelette and flip it over. If the wind is setting right and all the stars are correctly aligned, you'll be able to do this first try. If not, you'll end up with a broken omelette, but that's okay: the cheese will melt out and toast and be extra-yummy.

You can eat half of this and save the other half to make your coworkers envious the next day.

If you're really, really expert at chopping, you can talk to your Brother In Beer while slicing mushrooms. I am not expert, and so hung up on him while attempting to hold the mushrooms with my fingers and cradle the phone between my shoulder and ear. I ended up holding the mushrooms steady with my elbow and slicing them that way. It wasn't as convenient, but I didn't hang up on him again.

In other news, Friend Suzie the Rat Wrangler starts her new job today as Sub-Chief Rat Wrangler for a Large Nonprofit Research Organization. Shout it out for Suz!

Now it's time for a nap. I might paint my toenails later.