Monday, July 14, 2008

And Now For Something Completely Different....

or, That Didn't Work At All.

Some time ago, right after I moved in here, I bought some great midcentury modern wallpaper to put in the kitchen. The kitchen project was stalled until this week, when I had a few extra days off work.

So down came the horrible masonite on the walls. I taped and mudded and sanded and primed and put up the first wall's worth of paper.

The Kitchen said, "What the hell do you think you're doing?

I replied, "Putting up wallpaper. What does it look like I'm doing?"

The Kitchen snapped, "I hate that stuff. Take it down right the hell now."

ME: Buuuhhh...buuuhhh....I like this wallpaper!

KITCHEN: *I* don't. I'm not Midcentury Modern, you idiot; I'm Postwar Cute!

ME: Uh...there's a difference?

KITCHEN: Well, duuuuhhh. Yeah.

ME: So what's Postwar Cute?

KITCHEN: Take a look at me, Bozo! I've got glass-fronted cabinets and wide woodwork and high ceilings! Lots of cute cabinets! I need small-figured wallpaper with a chair rail and white paint, not this uber-modern faux Fifties crap!

ME: Um......

KITCHEN: Take. It. Down. Now. Or you'll never cook in this town again.

So I took it down. We eventually compromised: white walls with stencilled, multicolored polka dots in cascade, painted in Fiestaware colors.

Which means the kitchen won't be done before Wednesday, when my time off ends. Dammit. 

You know, I used to be sure my mom was crazy when she told me that every room in the house told her what color to paint it. I'm not so sure now.

4 comments:

Penny said...

The kitchen is wise. Listen to the kitchen.

woolywoman said...

Yah, my kitchen refuses to be yellow. Talks have stalled, and I'v left Kitchen with her drywall hanging out for almost a year now. I should just ask, but I'm too stubborn.

Joy said...

My study says "Bright green? What made you think you'd want a bright green study?"

Hmmm. I notice it's about the color of the captcha letters here.

GingerJar said...

Hahahahahaha! You are the bomb...you know if the walls were talking it was probably:

"Back away from the paint-brush and nobody gets hurt!"