STRIDER: Dude. What *is* that thing?
MAX, yawning: Lawnmower.
STRIDER: What's it do?
MAX: Shortens the grass so we get better back-skritches.
STRIDER, examining lawnmower from all angles: Is it dangerous?
MAX, rolling on back: Just stay away; you'll be fine.
STRIDER: ....Okay. I guess I can't herd it. *sigh*
Scene: The living room, afternoon
MAX: Don't go there, man. I'm warning you. I've tried it.
STRIDER: Aw, c'mon. It's cute and fuzzy! What harm could it do?
KITTY-CAT: I'll kill ya! I'll kill ya! I'll taste blood! Murder! DIE! DIE!! DIE DIE DIEDIEDIE!!!
(KITTY-CAT swipes at STRIDER with claws out.)
STRIDER: Holy shit, dude! She's got needle-paws!
MAX: Told you. You can't win with that one. It's crazy.
Scene: The back yard, nightfall
MAX: Doh dee doh doh dum dee dah dum dee dah....
STRIDER: Laa laaaa laaaa *roll roll roll* *scratch scratch* daaa deee hummm hummm...
MAX: Dah doh dee la la doh dum diddly dum....
STRIDER: Laaaa laaaa laaaa li loooo...wait. GO AWAY!!! GO AWAY!!! GO AWAY!!!
MAX, running after: Yeah! What he said!
STRIDER: What was that?
MAX: Uh...it was The Hooman. But no worries. She's used to it when she comes home.
OMG, you crack me up! ;-) You make me want to get one, too! Unfortunately I live in a small apartment and can't have a big dog. Maybe I'll try a small dog rescue!
ReplyDeleteKeep the dog scenes comin'! I need some entertainment!
love it! I can hear the dog voices in my head.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the entertainment.
The scene with the cat happens at our house every time my mom's dog comes to visit, except without the older, wiser dog to give her advice. I laughed out loud, because it's sooooo true.
ReplyDelete