I tried. I really did. I took the various pills in the various ways prescribed and tried six ways of taking them to minimize side effects, but in the end the Wet Grey Blanket of Blah got to me anyhow.
Chef Boy looked concerned enough about my staring, unsmiling, out the window that I finally gave up and called the brain doc today. Normally I prefer to tough side effects out, but this time...so, anyway. I called.
And the response was not what I'd expected. The response I'd expected was "Stay on the meds for a few days more and see if you feel better." What I got was "Woh. Gah! Um, best start back on your original dosage, okay? And call me back in a week."
So I'm back to taking lotsa Effexor. Which is okay; as I said before, I can deal with the hunger and sleepiness side effects so long as I'm sane. This past two weeks, I've been neither hungry nor sleepy, but it's because I've been totally unenergized and not willing to move.
Brain Guy says it'll be a few days before my mood is back up to speed, though my memory and coordination should improve faster. Which will be a relief; I've felt like an early-stage Alzheimer's patient for the last four days, unable to remember what I had for breakfast. And don't even talk to me about the coordination problems.
So. The saga will continue, I'm sure. For now, though, it'll be nice just to approach within spitting distance of normal again.
Sagas do have a way of going on. But I don't really worry much about that because I take Lexapro.
ReplyDeleteSo does Janeane Garofalo. I heard her say so once on the radio.
Lots of sympathy for you. It does totally suck being dependent on medications just to approximate the "normal" that the lucky majority born without fucked up neurotransmitters get to experience. It sucks that there's no machine that can just take a quick blood sample, run some simple program, and spit out the the right pill at the right dosage. Or a machine that can just do a quick brain scan, zap some lasers, and, kazaam! your brain suddenly produces all the right chemicals in the right proportions.
ReplyDeleteBut it doesn't work that way.
Every time I have to make a med adjustment, I curse my genes, and every time I get back to "normal," I am infinitely grateful to live in an age where at least there's some relief.
Good luck. I hope you feel better soon. I'll send you some Reiki.
Vermont RN
Oh no, it must be so frustrating. I'm sorry it didn't work. Bloody tweaking.
ReplyDeleteOMG, I cant believe what you have to go through. I had a baby a few months ago and have had sporadic - and I mean sporadic - absolutely blue days. My heart just goes out to you having to live through this on a daily basis. For a bit of a laugh, read Dooce.com - her depression archives. Or maybe you don't want to read anything to do with this. Sending good thoughts your way. Keep up the hilarious blog - you brighten others' days!
ReplyDeleteHang in there, buddy. You'll get through it somehow. I hope soon.
ReplyDelete