Thursday, July 21, 2005

An awards show of sorts....

What a week.

In honor of the week just past, I present: The 2005 Nursing Weirdness Awards.

Best Line Used In The Context of Patient Care:

"Time to disimpact the midget."

Best New Use of An Old Standby Drug:

"I need a Uroject (lidocaine jelly) to help with this disimpaction."

(No, there's no theme here.)

Best Use of Medical Equipment:

The use of an IV pole by one of our security guys to fend off a violent, confused patient who was attacking nurses.

Best Use of Food Items:

Stacking two bags of white rice and a bottle of molasses from the kitchen around a free-standing drainage bag in order to keep it from tipping over. No, you don't want to know what was in the drainage bag, or even how big it was. And no, I don't know why we had two ten-pound bags of white rice in the clean utility room.

Best Line from an Attending Physician:

(On observing a widespread rash on a patient's back) "Oh, no. I don't know anything about *that*" (while backing away).

Best Line from a Resident:

"Next thing you know, they'll be expecting me to follow up with this guy in clinic."

2 comments:

DisappearingJohn said...

Blogger is driving me insane today... I keep going down posts, finding one it will actually let me click to post a comment!!!!

On the fashion post above, I have to add the nurse who was precepting me the other day. She was lecturing me about "how nusing school must be going down hill so quickly" because I had the audacity to ask what DAR charting was (we are switching next month from charting-by-exception to DAR charting. Sorry, I had only heard of SOAP charting so far.. I hate acronyms, anyway..) I couldn't help myself, as she bent over next to me, I said, "You're right..of course, they did teach us not to wear bright pink panties when WE wear our white scrub pants".... The nurse next to her fell off her chair laughing... I'm glad she was a fill in for my regular preceptor who had called in sick...

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