I hate having to hand an attending's head back to him after he's bitten mine off in the nurse's station. Note to attending physicians who "know the protocol" and have "never had a problem like this before": if you really knew the protocol, you wouldn't have done the damnfool thing that caused you to have a problem.
And if you make your problem my problem, one of us will end up regretting the encounter. Hint: it won't be the short redhead with the bad attitude.
Thank you, Nice Man From the Polka Club, but no, I don't want to go out with you. At all. I'm busy enough with work, boyfriend, travel, boyfriend, work, boyfriend, hobbies, boyfriend, and so on not to have any free time.
No, not even five minutes for a cup of coffee so you can get to know me better. Really.
And I'm washing my hair tomorrow. On Tuesday I'm joining a convent.
On the road
Yes, I'm returning from Canada. Yes, I was only here for four days. In Banff, actually. At the Banff Centre. Visiting a friend who's at an arts conference there. No, I didn't leave my bag unattended. Here's the list of what I have to declare. Passport. Government-issued ID. No, those are earrings. Yes, that is a small jade figurine for my sister. Because it's cold in Seattle and I thought my father would like a sweater. Alpaca. Yes, that's an animal product. No, no fruit. No, no wood with bark on it, either. No, no cheese. [Ed. note: cheese ?] Sure. Thank you. Have a nice afternoon.