The Erstwhile Hub has some of the best family in the world. His stepmother is a marvelous woman. His dad is the cerebral, hard-working type who can use a chainsaw without cutting off his fingers and design and build an aesthetically-pleasing and solid structure. His aunt and her partner are wonderful women.
This is why I called my ex-step-mother-in-law just now and spent an hour on the phone with her. My Outlaw Mam is one of those steel-ribbed, totally-no-bullshit women that this state grows now and then. I can let my accent come out with her like I can with nobody else. "I" turns into "Aaaahhh" and I use phrases like "bless his heart" that would make my Yankee parents cringe.
"My word!" she exclaimed when she answered the phone. "I have my toothbrush in my mouth--hang on a second."
Although it came out as "Maaaah worrrrrd! Igh hab mah toodbrdgh ib by boughth--hadgh ob a schlecogngh."
I told her quite frankly that the reason I hadn't called is that I had wanted the Erstwhile Hub/New Lover dyad to have a chance with them, without comparisons. After all, these people were my primary relationships for my adult life; it's only fair that she and Ex-FIL get to know them without my butting in.
And here's where she is *so cool*: She said *nothing* about them.
Not to me, not at all. She could've ripped on the both of them; I know that they've visited since The Debacle. She could've been gossipy and mean. She told me once that she liked me much better than she liked The Erstwhile Hub...but she was fair. And just. And refrained from commenting on them both.
This is why I love Mam. She's a better person, hands-down, than I am. She keeps her mouth shut even if it pains her. If there's something she has to say, she says it once and goes on.
That's something to aspire to.