tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6833607.post109970392716288785..comments2023-06-14T03:36:55.988-07:00Comments on Head Nurse: Ethical noodlings, or, Friends Don't Let Friends Treat Friends. Or Family.Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520599099436383317noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6833607.post-23716076240994873842010-09-01T21:07:29.813-07:002010-09-01T21:07:29.813-07:00Hi! I just found your blog, am loving it, and am g...Hi! I just found your blog, am loving it, and am going through the archives. This one REALLY hit a nerve.<br /><br />My father, who was a physician (a neurologist, even) in the same town for almost 40 years, died last December of heart failure. At the end there, he was in the CICU and (as he used to say) there was a big, black bird at the end of his bed. He was clearly dying, it was not subtle, and the only real question was, How did we want it to happen?<br /><br />Except that my mom, understandably, really, really didn't want it to happen. So here we were, trying to talk her out of having him get stick after stick after stick after stick when it's not going to do any damned good. Meanwhile, all of his doctor buddies, whose specialities were not anywhere in the neighborhood of cardiology or ICU care, were like, HE CAN LIVE!!! DON'T CALL PALLIATIVE CARE!!!! HE CAN LIVE!!!!<br /><br />It was, as you can imagine, Not Helpful. I mean, I understand where they were coming from--we didn't want him to die either, but come on! THINK OF THE PATIENT, NOT YOURSELF. Eventually I engaged in some bargaining with Mom (if Doctor Buddy #2,485,675,347's favorite cardiologist says there's no way, we call palliative care--thank God the cardiologist was both professional and competent), and my dad was allowed to go in non-horrible circumstances.<br /><br />Oh, and the very worst Doctor Buddy? Was the (pardon my French) Motherfucking Internist who told my dad that his bad cholesterol was nothing to worry about, because it was caused by genetics. Yeah, you killed your buddy, you incompetent asshole. Chew on that.Pollynoreply@blogger.com