Two: When I fuck up, I get emails and comments that point out that I'm a moron. Which is nice, because there's nothing worse than being a moron and being clueless.
Three: When I say something that, to different ears, might sound a little strange ("black bitch of a morning"), people like 'Drea email me and say, "Um? Like, really?" Whereupon I can reflect and come to the realization that when I say something like "black bitch", other people do not automatically visualize a snarling black metaphorical shaggy female dog draped across my shoulders, which is what that phrase references. Whereupon I feel like a total douche but am grateful for somebody pointing out my idiocy. (FWIW, I have a good mental picture of the Black Bitch in question: she looks just like The Man of God's dog, Sophie, but with a nastier personality and, of course, black fur.)
Four: I get the occasional feedback (okay, more than occasional) that makes me feel like I'm actually doing a decent job at this nursing/blogging thing.
Five: I am the recipient of the most insane troll emails ever. I got one yesterday from somebody claiming to represent a group of people that protests things, claiming that they were going to protest my blog online, because I am a harlot (wahoo!) and anti-Jesus and generally going to Hell. Dad'll be proud; he never thought this blogging thing would amount to much.
Six, and most importantly:
On a blog, a person who has a difficult, draining job can be honest.
There have been times I have felt like tearing my hair out, and being able to vent about it here has meant the difference between my keeping my job and having to find a new one. There have been times I've felt like I'm the only person in the world to feel a certain way, and twenty-eight comments in two hours have helped immensely. There have been times when I've wondered if the picture of nursing I've painted here has been honest, or if it's been unreasonably colored, and then I've gotten an email from somebody who says, "I'm the only new nurse on my floor, and reading back over your posts has made me feel less alone."
One of my most valued friendships came to be as a result of this here blog. My Sainted Parents and Beloved Sister have gotten insights into my life that I'd never have given them in person or over the phone through reading. People I haven't talked to in a year (hi, Joey! Call me!) read what I write here and know what's going on.
And the folks who read and comment here stick with me through nursing, through having siding put on, through Max having weird lumps and The Boys driving their claws into my shoulders, and don't complain about any of it unless I'm an idiot.
So, thank you. For reading, for emailing, for commenting, for pointing out when I'm dumber than normal.
Good stories will return this week. I have some doozies for you over the next couple of days, including the NSTEMI Saga, in which the neurologist said, "You expect me to do something about his heart?" and the Clotting Drama, which I will fill you in on later.
15 comments:
*snerk* I guess I'm wacko as well - when you referenced the b.b. of a morning I interpreted it the same way you intended. Now that you point it out - doh! (Guess that's why there's an edit button...)
Keep up the good work!!!
I also see the word b*tch and automatically think canine.
So, you have the religious wackos after you? Good work! I go to church, and they don't like me, either.
can't wait.
Jo, you articulate what we feel but can't express with such finess that we love your blog and think your fantastic. thanks for sharing. Plus your damm funny.
On another note while it did take a while, my nurse's wreck of a shoulder eventally has returned to a useable state. Just keep up the therapy
I'm impressed that you get email from religious fanatics. I'm relatively new at blogging and I only get nice comments from fellow bloggers. You haven't made it until you get attacked...I think. I understand your plight. I used to vent at work, when I worked for hospice, and one boss, the most horrible of many, wrote me up for whining too much. I was the only social worker and I listened to the nurses complain every day. I was stunned, but it didn't stop me. I think it's healthy to whine, vent, bitch, whatever. Then you go to work and do the best job possible. Everyone expects us to be saints...special people. I'm sure you get that. Keep on venting. Those of us in the field understand and love it.
I meant to comment on Max's lumpy thing. My boy Tad had a scabby thing on his shoulder that could have been a scab, but it was kind of bleedy, and stuck tight, and was hanging around for a while. And I didn't remember him getting hurt there. I was pretty afraid it was cancer. I gave it until the end of the month to go away and..... it dried up and fell off because it was a scab. Hope it's nothing!
I stumbled across this blog about three weeks ago after an especially rough day at work, after my best friend suggested I look around online and see what other nurses had to say.
I'm a new nurse and a new orientee to the ICU at a small, community hospital. It is the hardest thing, I think I've ever done, and most days I really love it even when I hate hate hate it.
What I enjoy, especially about this blog, is you often write things that I think when I'm at work and you're damn funny. You put words to so many things I've struggled to express since beginning this whole affair.
If I may shoe-horn in a question: a lot of days it feels as though either a) the intensivists hate me, b) the intensivists have no patience for new orientees, or new grads for that matter, or c) the intensivists are jerks. Even on my worst days, I don't believe A or C to be the correct answer... Anyhow, all the reading about SBAR (the research supporting it), and practice in orientation, doesn't help when docs are impatient, irritated, or just plain angry because it's XX at night.
Also what do you say to a doc who gets pissy when you read back the order or clarifiy because you misheard something?
If you've addressed these two questions in the past, I apologize; I've not read back more than a few months into your archives.
As JacquiBee said: thanks for sharing...
Tell the religious zealots that this born-again Christian says you are just FINE with God, and additionally, they can all go pound sand.
You know you've made it when people start boycotting you! Congrats Jo and thanks for all your wonderful and funny posts!
I think you're awesome (and thanks for the Janelle Monae link ... she rules)!! I'm not a nurse by trade, but I thank my stars for you all. Going in for a normal delivery and ending up with a PE and DIC (41 units), IVC filter placement, being left open for three days on a vent, I don't take a thing for granted, especially my amazing nurse who got in the closet-sized shower WITH me ON CHRISTMAS, wires, pump, and all just so I could be presentable to my eight year old, is something I never imagined existed in this world. So thank you, for all of it, lover of all animals included (but not the TX heat). Keep up the good work! Melissa on the East Coast
Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. ~E.L. Doctorow
I figure blog writing is screwing the psychiatrists and psychologists out of a lot of money, but so be it.
I can let go on a keyboard and not carry around a U-Haul of psychosis, as many of my coworkers do because they have no non-destructive creative outlets.
Good for you! Keep it up!
Great post. Its awsome that blogging has been such a positive experience for you!
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