Things not to do:
Show up tanked on the day of surgery.
No matter how nervous you are about having brain surgery, it's probably best not to appear at the hospital at 6 am completely schnockered. It'll require a delay in the start time.
Yank the spike out of a REALLY big bag of fluid.
You all know that I am Genius Incarnate when it comes to being clumsy in new and creative ways. In the past, I've spilled most of the contents of the pharmacy on myself...but I reached a new high recently when I accidentally yanked the spike out of a three-liter bag of saline that was hanging at about head-level.
No, I don't want to talk about it any further. Thank you.
Sell drugs out of your hospital room.
Calling security is a pain in the ass. Could you not wait until you got home to make some extra bank?
Attempt to mug one of our employees in the parking garage.
Because, though she looks tired and vulnerable, she might actually end up being a second-degree black belt and wind up kicking your lousy ass. The cops who responded to the yanked emergency phone arrived to find one mugger, in a bruised lump on the concrete, and one rather pissed-off, medium-sized woman who just wanted to go home to bed.
Have two dogs, each well over a hundred pounds, and only a Honda Accord to move them around in.
I could solve this problem in one of two ways, I guess: 1) Buy a new car, like an xB or a Versa, that has room enough for two guys who each stand more than 25" at the shoulder. Or, alternatively, I could 2) Cobble together a lightweight cart and train them to pull it. That way I'd save the money on gas, give the boys some exercise, and look cool doing it.
The only problem would occur if Strider were to see a snack on one side of the street and Max a potential belly-rub on the other.
Roll a loaded linen cart over your toes.
No, surprisingly, this did not happen to me. Owie, though.
Eat like, fourteen cups of blueberries at once because, you know, they taste soooo good.
I did this. It was actually more like three cups. That's still enough, though, for Interesting Things to Happen.
Ah, the glamorous life. I livez it.