So, um? If you're in Central Texas? And you're not doing anything at the moment?

Could you please, please come over and get this enormous wolf spider out of my Everything Room?

We set up the washer and dryer today (it involved taking down a wall, which is what took so damn long) and while we were doing that, I saw something move out of the corner of my eye.

Now, I am a big spider fan. I love spiders. They fascinate and charm me.

But this spider? She's bigger than my palm.

I wear a size 7 surgical glove.

She is so large that the jelly-jar pint glasses I use for water won't go over her legs.

She moves quickly. Like a hairy Cuisinart. Disturbing.

I know, at least, that I won't have any palmetto bugs or roaches in that room. I might not have any Texas Red frogs or geckos, either.

Or a cat. I think she could take Max on and give him a run for his money.

Is there anybody out there with a really big clear-glass bowl or jar they'd be willing to bring over?

I'll just be hiding in bed, several feet off the floor. Wide-awake. Watchful.